How do people with office jobs make pick up time?

[Duv]

I live in London about an hour from my office in central London, and have my 1 yr old in a nursery that operates 8am-6pm. This just about works for us as I WFH a fair bit and have some my office core hours are 10-4.

But we are planning on moving further out, outside London and commuting about 1.5hrs. Looking a nurseries and childminders in the local area of the new town almost none are open beyond 5.30, and 5 seems to be the norm, with some only open till 4! I appreciate 1.5hrs is a longer commute than most, but even if I had my existing commute time (and I think 1hr is pretty normal for a central London job) I have no idea how anyone is managing to pick up their child before 5.30? Aren't typically working hours 9-5.30? How are you guys doing it?

I had a 90 min commute each way and we had a nanny several days a week. Bear in mind that depending where you live the train reliability is a huge challenge too, and it’s so stressful trying to get back for pick up when trains are cancelled etc
If you can WFH and not both commute the same day that’s a huge help.

I do 75min commute each way. I work on the train and have longer days while my DH does the drop offs/ pickups. And I WFH and have shorter days to cover the drop offs/ pick ups.

My son’s childcare ends at 6. I have to leave the office bang on 5 to make the correct buses to get there around 5:50. Work know I have a hard stop at 5 when I’m in the office. when he was at nursery he was across the road from the office and that journey time home felt like extra time together rather than a rush to get home.

They don't.

Jobs outside London exist. There's the entire rest of the UK to choose from.

This is my solution too.

Plus as a single parent, my household doesn't even have two incomes to fund it, just mine.

Permanently broke 🤣🤣🤣

Less than an hours travel from central Central London takes you quite far out. Zone 3 and 4 are perfectly commutable.

I'm struggling to see why someone would need a Nanny if they went part-time.

Even outside London an hour commute into any city using public transport really wouldn't be that unusual.

On the days I go in my DH does drop off and I do pick up

I get in the office for 730 and leave at 4-415 so I can collect. I have a 30 min contingency built into my commute as trains only come every 30 mins and the latest o can Colle y from club is 545

We have two kids in quite a tired two bedroom flat in London which originally just housed us. No garden, constantly clearing things out to make some space but we do make use of the parks, maximise family time and nursery/ work is 15 mins walk away. We did think about upsizing but now wouldn't have it any other way at this stage.
We both work full time and honestly think it would be so difficult to if we didn't live so close with all the juggling children bring

I assume that if you and your partner have jobs that are worth a 1.5 hour commute they must pay relatively well or you'd just look for work where you're moving to. The coast 1.5 hours commute from London will still be £££ compared to most of the UK. The commutes will also eat into your income.

I suspect that if you lived further north or west and worked further out of London then one of you could afford to go part time (we live in the south west and one of us is part time and we're both nurses).

@Starseeking I think the OP means, go part time OR get a nanny.

She's asking how people can afford to do these things individually.

Most nurseries around us are opened 8-6, but there are a few that do extended hours. I would start there, it's the easiest and cheapest option.

Then my husband has negotiated his hours for pick up, so he starts early but leaves at 3:30pm. My work has Flexi core hours so I do drop off and finish later on the days I go to the office.

It depends also what you mean by 1.5h commute. If that's 1.5h on public transport then it will probably be closer to 2h door to door isn't?

Our commute is between 1-1.5h but we are 35 min walk from the train station and we picked a nursery close-ish to the station. So we pick them up on the way and from work to nursery it's actually 45-60 min

This sounds miserable for both of you. Why on earth are you considering a 1.5 hour commute?

All of the families that I know that have 2 full time working parents have nannies. The rest work part time/compressed hours or completely from home so that they can manage drop off and pick up times.

Personally, I think you are being unreasonable to think you can both work such long hours AND have an insanely long commute with children. It’s not fair on anyone.

when i had a big commute DH had to do pick up

Your quality of life won't be better with 3 hours commuting per day.

Honestly you aren’t doing to truly have a better quality of life while still working in London.
Many of the men I work with commute 3 hours a day for work, the difference is their wife is at home with the kids or at least significantly works around them in the week!
Genuinely you’re not truly going to be living the small town costal lifestyle with that sort of commute and your children in childcare for that long.
You are also ruling out the weekdays for anything. I live in a low rise residential part of east London near big parks and forests. After the 4:30 nursery pick up we can go to the park in the nice weather, get an ice cream and wonder home with the scooters.
You don’t want to only have the weekends to spend time with your kids.

Honestly who can afford to:
-live a short commute from their central London job?
-have a nanny?
-go part-time?

These are very normal considerations. The reason no one can offer you a magical solution is because it doesn’t exist. It isn’t easy to have young kids and move a huge distance from London but still have 2 commuting parents.
How is it going to work when one of you needs to go back to collect a sick child?

I would be very careful about assuming you will both be able to continue to wfh a lot, long term. Lots of offices are forcing employees in more days per week. So even if your employer doesn’t you will likely find it will constrain your access to new jobs in London. Lots of people moved well out in covid assuming office 1-2 days a week max was the new normal and are now having a nasty shock. Are there decent jobs you could do locally to preferred town?

I think those points are ‘or’ not ‘and’. The OP is saying she can’t afford to do any one of those things.

If you are looking as far out as the coast surely the train costs will be massive.

I have colleagues at work paying £60 a day plus for a train to commute at peak time. 2 people x 2 days that's £1000 a month - surely that goes a long way to a higher mortgage if you stayed closer to London.

I would be surprised if a costal commuter town actually made financial sense. You can get a terrace in zone 3 East for 550-600. I can’t imagine a house in a commutable town would be much under 500 abd then you have the commuting costs and huge additional childcare fees.

dont forget the train strikes, leaves on the line

Most parents do one or other of these. If you both go part-time it's more tax advantageous and if your employer values you then you may be able to move some admin work to the evenings. Or find work where you move to.

This is why the cool nice to live in places are full of people who inherited money. The rest of us don’t live in dull places because we like boredom, we live in them because that’s what we can afford once we’ve made the compromises necessary for childcare to work.

You know very well that ordinary people can't afford that...

UK is more than London.

That's your answer for a lot of parents with office jobs.