Denying Access to My Child

[JurassicAllstar]

My Ex and I have childcare arrangements where I have my daughter every other weekend and we share the holidays. I would have my daughter more but distance between us makes that difficult with Schooling.

I have recently got married, my wife and I chose to marry abroad for just close friends and family with no children. My 6 year old was in school at this point so I wasn't going to take her 2 weeks out of school for this with many people she doesn't know, only one of my family members could make it.
So we made the decision to have a smaller event in the UK after that would be more suitable for my daughter, we can make it more special for her then and not have to take her out of school where she would have more family around her.

My Ex (Daughters Mother) has since denied me access to my daughter, she is very angry I didn't take our daughter abroad. On fathers day she sent me a really nasty and abusive text message and I have had more since.
I have explained the reasons and that we have another event but she is having none of it.

Me not taking her abroad and out of education for 2 weeks I did in her best interest, it would have been selfish of me to put her in that situation with people she doesn't know and very little family of our own there, she already has anxiety issues.

Any attempt I make to find some middle ground with my ex just results in more abusive messages that are intended to hurt me but more alarming is that she is upsetting our daughter.

My Ex has a history with social services etc.
I just feel so desperate now, I want to protect my daughter and I don't know where to turn.

You know you get to choose your wedding day right?
"There is consequences you can't do what you want when you want with children." - correct. The consequence here is that children don't want to spend time with selfish knobs.

I see the new wife has turned up.

Not loving the grammar.

🍿

She totally has 😂

Safeguarding would NOT be all over a child taken out of school for a fortnight. The school wouldn't be happy, and the parent would get hit with a fine, but social services are run off their feet and aren't going to visit for that. Honestly 🙄

Yes, that's what I thought.
😂

This is funny.

1 He chose the wedding date. He could <gasp> have chosen a more convenient date and/or location

2 She's 6. Worst case, the school would put it down as an unauthorised absence and he'd have to pay a fine. But not that big a deal. Also, see point 1 above. SS would not be interested nor would they be concerned. And I suspect even at the school, they'd officially be "unauthorised" while actually not giving a shit. Different if she was 16.

3 The mother perhaps is handling it badly but it's a bit rich to accuse her of "doing whatever she wants" when the dad has very much done whatever he wants eg getting married in a foreign country on a two week holiday in term time....

"The wedding was during term time" - the wedding that you his wife and him planned and chose the date and time for. Wedding dates aren't picked arbitrarily out of a hat.

I’m not sure why people are piling on the OP about getting married abroad. They’re having a second event in the UK that his daughter will be part of and presumably many other friends and relatives. Surely a 6–year-old will be fine with that, unless her Mum is actively telling her that’s she’s missed out on the other ceremony?

Anyway, if the second event is on one of your weekends, your ex needs to make your DD available.

They are projecting their feelings on to the op. They've been treated badly so they take it out on him.

His ex is punishing him by with holding contact because she still loves him. She hates the idea he's married and happy she will use anything to punish him even her own child.

This.

My 7yo would probably be devastated. They don't understand reason at that age, but they are very easily disappointed.
Which is why a good parent wouldn't do it.

I get that people may think it is a dick move but this was the only time we could fit in to get married

The only time? I find that very difficult to believe. You could have done it one day next year for example?

You have prioritised your new partner, a fortnight in the sun and ‘many people she doesn't know’ over your only daughter? That is really shitty and she will never forget that.

Shoulda Woulda Coulda it's done now. Dragging it on creating more pain is not going to help his daughter. It's like rubbing salt on a wound, let it heal. He is planning a smaller event for his daughter and family members who couldn't attend. Her daughter will hate her if she doesn't let her go to it.

He can always go through the courts if he's really interested in regaining contact. I suspect he won't though. Just like his didn't when he "wasn't allowed" every weekend. Far easier to let mum be the big baddy again.

OMG definitely the second wife, or a friend.

How do you know? Are you going?

Calm down no need for the drama. That's what he posted in his op.

"So we made the decision to have a smaller event in the UK after that would be more suitable for my daughter, we can make it more special for her then and not have to take her out of school where she would have more family around her."

To spite him she is witholding access. Unfortunately the only person who will suffer in this situation is the child.

Are you still bumping your gums, little sock puppet 🙄

You're either the ex or her best friend seeing as you know so much.

Don't you think the child is already suffering from the disappointment? Have you ever met a 6 year old?
She hardly sees the dad anyway, so it's probably no great loss in her life.

More drama 'sock puppet' I've been consistent on this thread. I was shocked at the amount of women on Mumsnet who have estranged themselves from their dramatic controlling mother's. The ops ex is controlling her daughter and when she sees her father. She will lose her daughter.

The mother is the one controlling everything.

Oh, I must have missed the part where she chose the wedding day, then refused to let the kid travel. I suppose she's also controlling the courts, which is why he can't get access that way? Or is he just not bothering?
Your perspective, based on the information provided is bonkers.

You can’t argue with stupid, so I wouldn’t bother trying 😂

Oh, I don't think the father of this unfortunate little girl would have a 68 year old woman as an ex wife.
🤣🤣🤣

@Teddybearpicniccelebration are you the new wife?

Asking direct as you've not confirmed or denied ...