blimey I'm naive!

[Kewcumber]

Just thread a thread on NannyJob, no need to discuss why

I haven't read it before and the thing that shocked me most was the repeated references to half a day pay being "nothing" to their employers.

Fuck me as an employer of a CM half a days pay is the differnce between me having a night once a month and not going out at all

AIBU to be shocked by the cavalier approach to employers money!

Yours naively, KC.

Although I would never ask a nanny to do ironing.

Yes bluesky the more I think the more I have to accept I am being taken for a ride. She is lazy....we never have any initiative on activities unless it involves spending money..........last Chritsmas she took them to the christmas markets..................forgot gloves and hats and then spent over hundred poounds on kitting them out because they were cold and spending money! I was livid!

The was the day before we went on holiday for 2 weeks. as soon as we went she buggered off and left a note for my cleaner to do all the jobs she hadnt done and are part of her contract. I guess i thought as she was mature and experienced she would know what was expected of her when we were away and she had used up all her holiday entitlement!

Im just naive and weak really but when they live in with you its a very different and strange relationship and at the end of the day my children are happy healthy and safe with her and thats what counts. I just wish she would realise that the real employment world is just very different and give a little but extra when asked in return for the slack we give her!

........including a whole month of next August for a big holiday.........how convenient is that ?

Hi BST....she is emloyed as a nanny housekeeper and paid a full time wage yet my children are both at school full time........somedays she drops them off at 8.30am and she doesnt pick them up until 5pm. Part of the deal was that she would do all the nursery duties as well but early on she did a deal with my cleanere and took over all the household washing and ironing in return for my cleaner clening the childrens rooms and playroom and bathrooms etc.

Yes she does more domestic duties than most nanies but you dont need to feel sorry for her she new what the job was when she took it on and in term time she only works a max of 8 hrs per day ( 11 hrs in the hols ) and doesnt do any babysitting even if she is live in unless we pay her 10 per hour!

Any takers!

MP-do you have the same problem as me?
My nanny is on the whole,lovely and like you my dd loves her and she loves dd so I am willing to let all sorts of things go.
In her contract it states she will do the family ironing which she manages fine when dd is at school in term time.Come the holidays it all goes horribly wrong as she can't combine a 3yr old and some ironing.....

Mummypoppins, why do you let her walk all over you like this? If you are not happy, then surely that effects the children too.

I would most certainly not tolerate a nanny who acted like the one you describe.

My nanny gets:
A gym membership (kids belong as well so plenty of opportunity for free entertainment)
£70 per month to spend as she wishes.
£30 towards mobile phone
A greater London bus bass (train travel has to come out of the £70)

If I specifically say, please take them to see such and such movie, then I would expect to give her money to cover it. But if she plans an event it comes out of the £70.

I'd kill her is she dropped £100 on anything that wasn't a life saving emergency without my approval.

yes i do.........thats exactly what happens and the frustrating thing is she spends the weekdays out and about having a lovely time with my children spending a fortune and I spend the weeknds after a 70 hour week in the office doing the chores........something is wrong somewhere !

I am a nanny (hence name) and I am on both boards as many are.

There will always be nannies who unfortunally do not do their job properly but there are also employers who seriously take the piss out of their nanny.

There will always be nannies who are fantastic and dedicated to their job, and have employers who trust and repect them

MP your nanny sounds dreadful - it is her job to make sure that your child has their needs met, whether making sure have school uniform or baking cakes (if needed),though I dont iron

I do go out a lot, and I do spend money on days out, but I did check at beginning of job, regards to money/kitty allowed to spend, but we also have days at home in summer holidays or have a picnic at local park, spend days at home painting/playing.

I am lucky, i do work for employers who do earn a lot of money - though I know that some employers struggle to pay their nanny, and this is where the childcare scheme/vouchers are a fantastic idea and can really help pay towards some of the nannies wages, so if you are an employer check to see if your company do these.

MP, I have yet to get to that stage - my 2 are too young for the cinema, so I know I have that to look forward to.

In terms of spending, I think she may be taking you for a ride. Am so shocked at what you describe! Athena's suggestions look very reasonable.

mummyp, something is wrong. You could reign in her expenses and easily hire a cleaner with the savings. Then you wouldn't have to chase after her, and it would be done.

Why don't you hand her £100 on the 1st, and an expnses book, and tell her to make it last the month and to write down everything she spend and include a receipt.

My work expenses require prior approval, and there is no reason your nanny should not expect to do the same.

I don't ask my nanny where the £70/month goes. I don't need to. I have a new nanny and I am completely in love with her. It's funny because she hasn't got a single nanny qualification. But she has turned out to be a fab nanny... and would never do the things you describe.

I think common sense and experience are far more valuable than any piece of paper.

Although I know many who would disagree...

Good idea AN.........I have changed things abit. She now has a card for petrol for the car so I can keep an eye on that. Occasionally she tops up shopping so I could get her to write that down.

Now I know why I love MN...........I run a 9 million pound a year turnover busisness ( with my fellow partners )but when it comes to matters like this I am useless! LOL.

Thankyou all ladies........I will also remind her about the school uniform at the end of term and then she has no excuse........i guess I just thought with 20 years experience it would be bleeding obvious!!

70 pounds a month sounds very fair and again very fair to give a phone allowance

I cant beleive that any nanny would or could spend £100 on gloves/scarfs

woolies/quality seconds sell them and you get 2pairs and scarfs for less than 10 pounds

To be fair that included spending money for the day.........train fair , lunch out and buying nick nacks etc at the fair.

It was still abit eye watering though !! Thats a bloody good night out with the girls!

oh - thought you meant spent £100 on cashmere gloves etc

but yes a day out in london can cost a lot, esp with train fares/lunch

we go to amusement parks in summer holidays,but I try to get BOGOF tickets - woolies did them last summer, and we have a picnic lunch to keep costs down

£100 would be a fabby nanny/mummy night out

MP, another thing you might do is get annual passes to a local attraction where they could go repeatedly for much better value.

For example:
Legoland
Kew Gardens
London Zoo
etc.

I think you are possibly not in London so these probably don't apply but there might be something else near you

Hi An we arent no but we have National Trust membership we she can use for the children as she has her own and lots of places to cycle and have picnics etc.............my au pairs in the past used to manage on very little money.

TBH its not the money its the lack of respect for me and what she should be doing such as looking after the school uniform and baking a few fairy cakes when asked that makes me moan about the fact she is spending the day in Pizza Express at my expense!

you have a right to moan

how hard is it to bake a few cakes, ESP as your children are at school ? [hmmm]

you pay your nanny to do a job, and you expect it to be done

it is fun to go out for lunch at pizza places etc,and if chores are done, then all can enjoy

Thanks imananny you are making me feel so much better!!

If I can return the favour at any time let me know!

good - glad i make you feel better

see not ALL us nannies are bad

i support who ever is in the right, regardless if they are a nanny or employer(mummy)

MP, I completely sympathise. My last nanny was not very proactive. It drove me crackers. I would ask her to do something, then I'd follow up, and follow up again, and finally she would explain to me why it couldn't be done and hand the task back to me to do myself. It was so frustrating. She is a nice girl, and I fell bit guilty for feeling this way, but it was a relief when she left.

Our new nanny is just the opposite. A couple of weeks ago, she said she took DS swimming at the gym and hoped that was okay. I was delighted. I remember thinking (oh blis... I didn't even ask and she's just gone and done it ) I as so happy I went into the bedroom and told DH I was in love with the nanny. HE didn't quite appreciate the humour because he's not the one always chasing after a nanny who couldn't organise haircuts or halloween costumes on her own. Drove me crackers!

Anyway, I'm so in lurve with new nanny and I highly recommend you have a talk with this one and tell her to shape up... or get a new one. I know as well as anyone that the transition of a live in is not always fun. But the arrival of nanny bliss is sooooo worth it. There is light at the end of the tunnel, mummyp. You can't go on letting a slacker nanny ruin your weekends.

DH used to tell me I could just do things myself with less effort than it takes to get nanny to do them, and I always said "Life is too short to do things I pay someone else to do".

Mp , i cant believe that your nanny does so little. I know i worked full time a few years ago now , but i would do all Nursery duties (wouldnt dream of leaving for the weekend without any chores not done)I also helped out with cleaning or ironing for extra money ,once my charges had started at school again didnt take on what i couldnt finish.There are always the odd exception , ie when the children are ill. There are plenty of Nannies who would do more for you , just as part of there normal routine.
As for the picture's and days out , i used to collect tokens and days out vouchers, to use at holiday times as im sure a lot of other nannies do .
We also took sandwiches and cakes we'd made the day before.
I cant believe she took them out without being properly kitted out , its part of her job to make sure they keep warm whilst out and that means having every thing before leaving the house, the same goes for protecting them from the sun in the summer,ie hats sunscream etc )I'm sure you wouldnt buy new gloves each time you took them out .
Whilst having a kitty is good , surly nannies should use days out likes these as treats.
I,m older too hence the name and still working as a nanny.

agree with 45nanny

you would assume a nanny with over 20 years exp could look after children and do all that needs to be done

as i said, i do go on trips, but save Mb money by using vouchers, which I know she appreicates, and same with cinema,we go,but take sweets/drinks from homeand maybe buy a small popcorn to share