blimey I'm naive!

[Kewcumber]

Just thread a thread on NannyJob, no need to discuss why

I haven't read it before and the thing that shocked me most was the repeated references to half a day pay being "nothing" to their employers.

Fuck me as an employer of a CM half a days pay is the differnce between me having a night once a month and not going out at all

AIBU to be shocked by the cavalier approach to employers money!

Yours naively, KC.

well I'm not clever enough to work out what the naem means but I'm guessing its bird related

See my profile for details. Okay, it is a bird. An owl actually. But, I don't go round referring to you as the fallic symbol fruit.

I read that thread too and it embarassed me immensely, how awful some nannies attitudes are towards their employers and also money in general. The feeling of entitlement expressed in that thread is terrible. Yes nannies deserve fair pay and treatment but all threads like that do is show nannies to be greedy and obnoxious. If you want to be treated as a professional you have to act like one. That means two way communication, honesty, integrity and not indulging in childish behaviour on public bulletin boards. I might be flamed by other nannies for saying this but I feel the Nannyjob bulletin board is not a good advocate for the nanny profession at the moment. The attitudes shown there are pretty appalling in some cases. It makes for an entertaining read but there are few nannies on there who I would employ.

Please please can we have a link to "that" thread??!

to be fair half a days pay is not much money when you consider who employs nannies..

all except my current bosses have been multi- millionaires,(last bosses were very high on the rich list) and although my current bosses are more normal they still have two 6 six figure salaries coming in!

and in the scheme of their income half a days pay is NOT a huge amount of money!

"that" thread has been deleted

I think "that" thread is the one on nannyjob. Tutter, for the second time today, Keep up!

I knowlots of people who have nannies. And to the best of my knowledge none of them are muti-millionaires.

I think this a misconception of the typical nanny employer. My nannies have definitely got more disposable income than I have, but that isn't a justification to reduce their salaries. Likewise, wealthy bosses are not a justification to expect a higher rate of pay.

Your pay should reflect the job you do, not how much the employer can comfortably spare.

"not one of them are millionaires" Did I say that? Oh God, where are the grammar police when you need them?

Here, AN

That's a fine of £60 and 3 exclamation marks on your licence.

Agree about pay reflecting job, not employer's spare cash or, worse, gross salary. It's the principle, isn't it?

I saved for 5yrs before I had dd just so I could afford a nanny(for the first two years of her life) as IMO it was the best for my situation-or only solution given my erratic hour.
Like Kew £35 can be a rare night out.My nanny definitely has more disposable income than me by a long way and never mind biscuits-she always manages to eat whatever is in the fridge that I really fancy for dinner later on bus she is lovely so frustration is short-lived.

Incidentally-I only found Mumsnet as I was looking on NJ for a nanny and found a whole thread about "those bitches on Mumsnet are having a night out,shall we gatecrash".I was intrigued and had a look-not been back to NJ since due to a lot of childishness and general whingeing.

I'm a nanny who's on both forums.. I find that for information ie what should I do with a charge / stuff for interviews / general nanny knowledge, it's useful.

However, in terms of an employers p.o.v I find this site much more valuable. I know what I think / feel as a nanny and can ask nanny friends irl their opinions. There are however some things which would be difficult to broach with an employer that I wouldn't think twice asking you "millionaires" on here!

It appears that many of the nannies have quite a stereotypical view of employers and makes me very glad i've been so lucky so far.

Therefore... As a nanny without children, I still feel posting here can be beneficial for me and for others and that the world (online) would be a much nicer place if we could all see the value in each other!!

So NJ can be great for parents too!

hear hear Jura..I am afraid I employ a nanny of the type this thread is about.

A lovely girl and all of that but beleives that money grows on trees and quite frankly would sink out in the real world.

When she leaves me a note to say that she didnt have time to make 6 fairy cakes for the school fayre yet knocked off 30 mins early because my DH was home early....and then had the cheek to ask to be paid 10 days early because she had run out of money it makes me v cross.To top it all yet again my sons £80 school blazer was left at school at the end of term beacuse my nanny beleives that at the age of 6 it is his responsibility to bring it home ! Well why should she care she wont have to pay to replace it.....when i questioned her about it she just shrugged her shoulders.

She takes home £1200 pm and has all her living expenses paid for and a completely free car..........she is much better off than we are and both her charges are at school full time ! she doesnt bat an eyelid when the mortgage rate goes up: utility bills go through the roof or the car blows up.........no she just asks for a payrise!

This all has to be taken into perspective I know but if nannies expect employers to recognise their professional skills and contributions to the household then surely us employers can expect a little respect.....

Rant over

MP

FWIW I would much rather work for a family that is stretching their budget to get a nanny because they know it's the best for their child than millionaires for whom the nanny's salary is peanuts - I think more normal families are much more likely to appreciate what the nanny does and make her feel appreciated, which at the end of the day is probably more important for job satisfaction. I've had a couple of pretty unpleasant experiences with very rich employers who didn't seem to care about keeping a nanny because the agency could always just send a new one (one family said after I quit 8 weeks in, "ah well - at least you stayed longer than the last one" ). The families I'm still in touch with, who still invite me to their children's birthdays, are the more normal ones who made me feel like an important part of their family rather than just another member of staff.

MP - So sorry to hear that you employ a nanny who is the type described. The fairy cakes situation I feel is disgraceful. If I was asked to make cakes for a school event, I would make sure it got done. So feel free to rant away

I'm at the other end of the spectrum I think... I find I can't socialise with other nannies - as they have huge weekly cash kittys, employers credit card, a car supplied with unlimited fuel etc. They say, lets go to this expensive indoor play place, or this expensive swimming pool... and I can't go, I don't have the money. My kitty is equivalent to £1 per day per child... hardly enough to go to indoor play. We save for things we want to do... we get vouchers, discounts, hunt around for low-cost activities. We do enjoy ourselves - it's surprising what can be done, with a little money management and research.

Why do employers not tighten-up on employees who spend their employers money, like it grows on trees? I just don't understand why that isn't clamped down on more. Surely it is the employer in charge... not the employee.

Live-out nannies like myself may have a different perspective on things, as we are affected by mortgage rates, utility bills, unexpected car repair bills, council tax!
Or maybe I'm just showing my old age!

At the end of the day I think most nannies forget that they agreed to their working hours and salaries when they took the job. If the job changes drastically then, yes, it's fair to expect to be able to renegotiate terms and conditions but just because your employer gets a pay rise doesn't mean the nanny should automatically think that extra money is theirs! However some parents do expect nannies to work overtime and then 'forget' to pay them. I just did 8days 24hr care of my employers 4mth old whilst they went on holiday with older child and I got an extra £120 for the week which I didn't think was much considering their holiday cost more than my yearly gross salary!!!! However that is not the point and when I get a bonus or a treat or an unexpected 'thank you, we really appreciated that' then it's much nicer than asking for extra. At the end of the day most nannying jobs involve alot of give and take and discussing issues in a mature way makes for a much happier working environment than bottling things up. Saying that there are just days when we have a bad day and just want to rant and rather burden our poor partners, it's easier to rant to complete strangers who can understand our point of view!

If you finish this message the thread will be well and truly over, so very long.
I agree with Nannynick,(wish i 'd nannied near you Nick , you'd have been welcome to one of my nanny tea's anyday , we share the same values)I couldn't believe that the nanny didnt bring the child's blazer home, he was 6 , as a mum(and nanny) i was always going back to school to find lost things , part of the responsibility .
As for the cakes (shocked)
I am often startled by what is talked about on NJ and how employers allow there nannies to behave they way they do. I often find myself wondering what happened to job satisfaction, i didnt always earn the same as my friends ,but would never leave a job ,because someone i knew worked for a richer family or that their perks in the job where better than mine.
If i thought the wages where too low or that i was being treated unfairly i would speak to my employer, but taking a job wasn't always about money and staying wasn't always about top pay either and on occassions when other famlies often (very rich mummies) tried to headhunt me i always turned them down the job because of loyalty to my families)
I worked for both very rich families and the have to work hard families and i always did the job for the love of children and not the money. I hope i never took advantage and certainly never asked for more than we needed(even if i knew they could afford it)
Sometimes though some mummies do waste money and do begrudge spending it on things like the nanny's pay( i know many a nanny who wasnt paid on time,because mb/db had forgotten her wages or had spent it on some thing else
But in fairness to the some of the younger nannies i do think it's to do with their generation, as a mum on two teenagers ,they have very little idea of money and they don't see the hard work you have to do behind the mum bank to allow them to have some of their needs.
But why would they be worried about interst rates and the price of the gas bill , did any of us worry if our parents could afford to pay the bills.
Most live in nannies wouldn't be worried about these things they just want there wages for a job well done.
I have worked as a nanny for over 25years and things have changed in those years ,some nannies are often younger and wanting more , they almost have forgotten the art of free play and doing things without money , the same as they are often only in the job for the money and perks .
I will probably cause ofensive to some but seeing the way some nannies behave makes me disappointed for the ones who are very serious about their jobs.
Don't get me wrong their are not too good employers either, ones that treat their nanny very badly.

What i also see over the years is that instead of nannies being talked about at dinner parties they are being talked about openly on mumsnet,just the same as nannies chat on NJ instead ofthe normal nanny get together in the park just a different way of going about things. :O

I think the nannies that are moaning are more than likely young and living at home so they do not understand that hoW rich or not you maybe there is always BILLS THAT NEED PAYING.big house bigger the bills.
Before i married and had a child life was easy on my nanny wage but life gets harder and im sure they will understand this in time.

I worked for a lovely family whom have good jobs a beautiful house,but i would never dream of asking for more than the kitty they had left me.i was always conscious that money does not grow on trees and do my best to find fun days out that did not cost the earth.

There is good and bad nannies as there is employers but you need respect for each other or things will not go well in my experience.

nanny45 and Nanny donna agreed. the interesting thing is my nanny is 40!

And every month she wants to be paid early as she has run out of money.......yet quite often things dont get done. Her view is that she has 20 years experience and no one tells her what to do.

the blazer is just another example.....at Christmas she left his whole PE kit at school!

We have curbed her wings somewhat and dont leave a kitty now.......she has to ask. Today she has taken the children to the cinema and is then meeting a friend for lunch at Pizza Express. A big dent in £50.......she didnt ask whether that was ok.........the arrangememnts are made and we are expected to pay.........my fault I guess as I should set some better ground rules. I dont want her to think I am tight but feel that she should be more sensitive to the issue of spending our money to entertain.We live in the country.......have a huge garden and swimming pool and she could easliy have free days as it were !

The other thing is she is out with the kids and then the other jobs at home dont get done leaving me to spend the weekend ironing ! As far as I can tell she feels this is simply not her problem!!!

ho hum. No one is perfect!

MP,
whether I am talking to my nanny or my husband I always insist that any jobs which need done are completed in the morning, and then afternoons can be spent going out.

I am shocked about the Pizza Express/ cinema example! I can understand something like this as a special treat at Christmas, but not as an everyday / everyweek occurrence! Am I being sticky to think that taking kids to the cinema is a lazy way of looking after them?