Getting Advice via Internet Forums - Employers of Nannies, Nannies, Childminders etc.

[nannynick]

Someone posting information on a website, asking for advice about a situation, happens often.
Sometimes that person is an employer, sometimes they are a childcare provider.
If no one is able to connect that persons message, with RL... then there isn't a great issue. But sometimes those in the know, can connect the message with RL.
Is there a soluition to that? We all like to be able to discuss things with our Mumsnet friends. The CAT system is terribly slow (as it's a human), and we may not know our Mumsnet friends in RL, so only have their Mumsnet username as a means of contact.
Posting about a situation at work - can be very educational for others. Such as a childminder posting about problems getting parents to pay on time, will result in other people saying what has worked for them in the past. Employers of nannies will ask for advice about how to handle a situation, be it redundancy, a nanny who is often sick, or what gift/bonus to give at Xmas.
What is the soluition? If people don't discuss things then they bottle it up and it explodes at a later date!

I think Mumsnet ediquette would be to not come on here and put personal real life details about another mumsnettter unless he/she has specifically asked you to do so.

Of course childminders and nanny employers use this as an invaluable resourse for support and advice. I know I would be a much worse nanny employer if it hadn't been for these boards.

It's a tricky one really.

I think namechanging and altering the details of the situation are somewhat essential to protect the identity of those involved and prevent someone reading about themselves online!

Agree... but even namechanging and tweeking the details, may mean that someone can identify either themselves, or a friend.
It's a tricky one isn't it. I wouldn't want someone not to post a question, just because their employee/employer may read it. We all need help from time to time, and getting different peoples prospectives on a topic, especially prospectives of people we don't know, can help us decide how we will handle whatever it is we are needing help with.

Think I had best keep out of this one..Im in enough trouble already

No really though. Its great to be able to post for advice on places like mumsnet but you have to be very very careful that if you are talking about someone who comes here that you don't make it obvious who you are posting about as I have seen it can be very hurtful to the person it is talking about!

Jenna

Possibly

Nannies posting about nanny issues should possibly consider posting on a nanny forum, of which there are plenty .. unless attempting to solicit advice from Parents

Nannies posting about childcare issues and wanting parental advice should continue to post on Mumsnet

Mums (and Dads) talking about childcare issues should post on Mumsnet

Jenna I'm sorry but I do not believe you have any right to take any 'highground' here ... snooping and posting on the thread were both highly suspect actions

Trouble with posting on a nannies forum, is that an employer of that nanny may visit that forum and read their messages.
Nanny forums are just as public as Mumsnet.

but I wonder whether the etiquette is that a parents site is first and foremost for parents and a nanny one first and foremost for nannies

I am not for a minute trying to intimate that non-parents are not welcome here

but in terms of etiquette, if a parent went on a nanny site to find posts from their childcare giver then they would be acting immorally / unethically.

of course the entire internet is an open book .. but we, who inhabit forums, like to pretend it isn't

I think nannies are perfectly welcome on mumsnet. Just as I expect to be welcome to post on nannyjob. I don't think this is about nannies vs. employers rights. I think the issue is when someone types personal real life information about someone else. That is inapproriate. I think if you want to reaveal details about yourself that's fine. But, don't do it about someone else.

Although I am curious about how the nanny worked out the employer's new screenname since the employer thinks it's not at all obvious... makes me wonder if nanny was snooping round employers computer... but then I don't know that so I'm just speculating (probably should shut up now)

TWIGLET- I Hate to point this out but I am a parent aswell as a nanny I have also been a nanny employer too in the past...so although you seem to have taken a dislike to me I would like to think I have as much right as anyone else to being on a parents forum!!

So what would be considered to be "personal real life information"? Clearly someone's real name, address, children's names.
What else would you include?

I really haven't taken a dislike to you Jenna .. I don't know you from Adam and wouldn't relate your posts on this subject to any other threads you might start / be on

I do think your posts today have been rather ill conceived, but appreciate that you feel you are supporting a friend.

This was the bit that would freak me out: "she is amazing with your children, caring and loving and they respond to her very well and are incredibly happy in her care"

Someone I don't even know starts telling me about my children and how wonderful their carer is??? THAT is information I don't need to read on the internet.

I've just tweaked (I know I'm a bit slow), but Jenna is probably one of the nanny's references... So OP has probably talked to he. Oh, that's weird. Even I'm a bit freaked out.

Can we talk about this subect in general rather than keep relating it back to the other post...

Jenna

So that Bank Holiday thread was about you? You agreed to a contract, and then two months into the job sought to renegotiate the holiday terms? Is that right?

I think it's unfair to start picking at Raeanne on this thread Athene - there's already another thread on mumsnet and one on nannyjob to discuss that specific issue!

No. There WERE emails back and forth, as I didn't understand the holiday thing, at the time. Was told that we would go through it together, but for whatever reason, it didn't happen and it only came to light when there was a bank holiday.

(Jenna forgot to log in as herself on last post).

I post on a few messageboards - this one, nannyjob and several other politics/music/general interest ones (yes, I'm an addict and no I'm not working at the moment!) - and I always post as if I am NOT anonymous. On MN and NJ I post as if my employers/past employers/future employers could read it. On other boards I post a little more freely, but wouldn't ask for advice on a board I'm a regular on that I didn't want my friends to see.

I would be absolutley devastated if I saw an employer had said something negative about me on here, and would never do that to someone else.

I don't do name-changes, and this is the only board I post on that allows it - as we've seen they don't always work! MN is probably the least user friendly board I've used in terms of it's interface though, and the only board where you can't send private messages instantly. I think if this aspect was improved it would be possible to discuss things privately with other users.

I also completely disagree that nannies (even childless ones!) using mumsnet or parents using nannyjob are "snooping".

Ok, have now read the nannyjob thread, and I have to say if that thread had been started by a nanny (or any other employee) of mine , I would be most displeased.

Your posts on here today would be a violation of the confidentiality clause in my contract, and you would also be subject to discipplinary action for "Conduct during or outside working hours prejudicial to the interest or reputation of the Employer"

I don't know if I would sack you, but I would give you a warning. And I also would not pay you for bank hols -- they would count towards your 24 days of hols (prorated to the number of days you work).

Furthermore, your MB has been far more restrained than you have on this matter. She at least had the decency to refuse to tell me what had happened.

Ironically, I suspect the posts you put on here today have probably sealed your fate more so than the ones on NJ.

Athene, this thread is about the issue more generally - can't you use one of the other threads to discuss Raeanne?

I think we have enough threads on the matter. And, Reanne came on to give her side of the story (which is frankly the only side we have heard) so I think it's fair to respond to her on the thread where she posted it.

As I have recently learned taking a post and starting another thread on it is considered by MN to be a bpersonal attacke and just cause for the new thread to be deleted. So, no, I can't respond to her on another thread.

Look, I am confused, is Reanne the same as Jenna? I thought Jenna was the nanny's chum, but now are they one & the same? Plus, can someone post a link to the nannyjob thread - I need to go to Tescos & don't have time to search.

Go to nanny job and look for a recent thread started by Reanne. Won't be difficult.

Reanne is the nanny. Jenna is her chum.