Getting Advice via Internet Forums - Employers of Nannies, Nannies, Childminders etc.

[nannynick]

Someone posting information on a website, asking for advice about a situation, happens often.
Sometimes that person is an employer, sometimes they are a childcare provider.
If no one is able to connect that persons message, with RL... then there isn't a great issue. But sometimes those in the know, can connect the message with RL.
Is there a soluition to that? We all like to be able to discuss things with our Mumsnet friends. The CAT system is terribly slow (as it's a human), and we may not know our Mumsnet friends in RL, so only have their Mumsnet username as a means of contact.
Posting about a situation at work - can be very educational for others. Such as a childminder posting about problems getting parents to pay on time, will result in other people saying what has worked for them in the past. Employers of nannies will ask for advice about how to handle a situation, be it redundancy, a nanny who is often sick, or what gift/bonus to give at Xmas.
What is the soluition? If people don't discuss things then they bottle it up and it explodes at a later date!

Squiffy, I think Jenna is off today. But I agree with your post.

...'JudgeNutMeg do parents not get together and discuss what their nannies do? on here'...

The parents are not being paid by the nannies.

No you parents are not paid by nannies, but I've done a lot of jobs while nannying that weren't supposed to be done, eg taking dropping off and picking up dry cleaning, washing up after parents as a favour, now I didn't mind doing things like that, but then the parents complained about me popping into a shop to get something for myself it.
If I'd done all my nannying jobs, doing things with the children nearly all day why can't a nanny have an hour on the computer if the children are occupied and happy? btw
I've got excellent refs from 3 long term jobs during my 18 years of nannying in the past, all of which were an average of 5 years per family.

For what it's worth, Maria, I agree with you. I'm not bothered if the nanny types on the computer (but not for hours on end of course), I don't mind if the kids accompany her to the doctor, or if she takes them shoppping here and there. My nanny works long hours so I figure if she needs to squeeze some errands into her work day it's really not going to harm my children any.

Yes Athena it is nice to be appreciated as a nanny, as i was in some of my employment, especially when the nanny is doing a 12+ day, as I did with 3 kids under 5 at one point. Nj is no more bitchy than an other forums I might add, and I've seen worse

Well, sorry, but NJ does strike me as a bit bitchy. Not everyone of course. But, I know plenty of nannies outside of NJ who are lovely.

Maria, I agree, my previous nanny was getting married last year, and I think my DD had been to nearly every wedding dress shop in the area - I didn't really mind too much, because the nanny was very good.

What would bother me, is not the hour spent on the computer, but what it is used for. It seems particularly perverse that someone is spending that time bitching about their employer, whilst being paid by same employer, and even worse on today's example, when their employer is on the same forum at the same time!

I totally missed the furore yesterday and haven't read the NJ thread (hate the place, far too cliquey and snooty) but back to the original question...

I think the internet is a useful tool for getting people's opinions. Namechanging is obviously one way of maintaining a level of confidentiality about the situation and I wouldn't give personal details (names, locations, etc) but having said if I was having a problem with my employer I'd want to be very careful about where I posted it. The internet is public and if there was a chance my employer would stumble across it then I'd seek verbal advice from friends etc.

In that vein I'd like to think that any employer would do me the same courtesy and if they were going to post somewhere I might see it I wouldn't want to be able to recognise my situation.

Or just phrase everything hypothetically!

the problem with open boards is that anyone can read the pages - whether NJ,MUMSNETT or NETMUMS - and you dont have to be logged in

so be careful what you write,if you think your nanny/employer might read it BUT on the other hand everyone should be able to ask for advice

I am a nanny - a good one I hope - I go on the internet during working hours - though mainly when charge is asleep - I was given passwords to both Mb and Db laptop - plus wireless is a wonderful thing.

It's been said well by a number of people below (or above, depending on how you read!) - you just post AS IF everybody you know is going to read it, & recognise it's you writing it.

I think that is just basic good discipline - ie it makes you think twice before even getting into some issues so publicly - as in - am I going to look unreasonable? well, maybe I am .. so maybe I am being unreasonable ... and then, like Fagin, think you'd better think it out again (ie privately).