Honest opinions please - Wrap around for year R kids?

[pinkfones]

So I'm currently on Mat leave with DC2, due back early next year.

DC1 starts school in September and I'm supposed to be working 4 days a week when I return.

I can't help but think I should cut my hours and in turn my level of responsibility to be more present for my DC.

Honestly do year R kids struggle with wrap around? I know people would argue working full days gives you a better work/life balance and time to yourself at work etc, but honestly what's best for the child?

When my children were younger I opted for a childminder rather than wrap around provided by the school. It was more expensive but felt it was better for my children. Their childminder was so caring and compassionate and her house was like their second home. It was really beneficial for them to go back to a home rather than stay in school for extended hours. If they wanted to play they could play but equally they could just choose to chill out. The childminder was quick with cuddles if they'd had a challenging day and was so lovely with them.

DS has been at nursery since 1.5 and he’s the eldest in the class (turned 5 before they even started as he’s an early September birthday). Admittedly he’s likely got ASD, but there is no way he’d manage wraparound care currently despite being used to 8-6 nursery days. Even his ‘typically developing’ best friend had to be pulled out of an after school session because he wasn’t coping.

That said, me and my brother both survived being in wraparound childcare from reception.

I’m finding school way way more challenging than I thought I would though. The expectations for help with welly walks, PTA events and trips, donations for a million different things, a seemingly endless list of odd sock/christmas jumper/wear orange for sore left toe charity days, and various meetings and events between 9am and 4pm is insane.

It's so difficult isn't it, because in this day and age we all need to work (well a lot of us do and a lot of us just want to), but ultimately the kids' days will never fit with our days because they're so young and easily tired.
There is no happy medium I feel expect part-time and flexibility at work allowing you attend the odd concert/Mother's Day event etc, but even then the mental load is immense.. damned if you do damned if you don't comes to mind..

Agree with others who said that it depends on the child and the after school setting. My reception aged child (April born), does after school 4 days a week - until 4.45pm 3 days and 4pm on one (we go swimming that day), he loves it and often asks me if I can please go and do some shopping or something and come back for him a bit later because he is still playing with his friends.

I'm going to do the same as you (ie cut my hours) so my daughter doesn't have to do wraparound care more than is absolutely necessary.

I just think it's a really long day and I'd be exhausted so she must be too.

I appreciate I'm fortunate to have the option but I feel quite strongly about it. I'm a teacher and I see how tired the kids get just in normal school hours.

My DC found a childminder's easier than ASC to start with when they were little - it's a home environment, they can unwind, if they need quiet time they have it PLUS my CM gave them dinner so we didn't have to think about food when we got home. It was also very convenient when I had a preschooler as she'd go there all day and go with the childminder to do the school run - I only had to do one drop off/pick up.

Now they're bigger (since the youngest was in y1) they go to ASC and that also works well. They

FWIW, I do the school runs because I work from home. DH has a big job (c-suite) and has worked flexibly for the last twelve years so he can collect DSS from school every other Friday, which is a 4 hour drive away. It is possible to share the load.

Lost half my paragraph! They love after school club and it means they know children in lots of other years and classes. They also get to do the clubs they offer as the clubs will then drop them in and they don't miss out on it.

From when my eldest went to school, mine went to a childminder after school.
Ideal, as there was more of an element of flexibility, as she could respond to them being a bit tired / under the weather / full of beans / it snowing or being scorchingly hot.
Mine are all in their 20s now and remember her very, very fondly.
One came home quite excited the other day as they had seen her out and about and had a lovely long chat.
She used to be friendly with another child minder and sometimes they'd get together and the dc would have a larger group to play with but it was just an option - they could just snuggle down on the sofa with a film or sit and chat over toast in the kitchen on other days.
Is that an option for you ?

I really valued the two days when I didn't have to shoot off to work.

Oh, and it was nice to be on the playground and get to know other parents on the two days - no issues at all with the fact I wasn't there 5 days.

Thanks so much everyone for your replies, absolutely invaluable!

DS did breakfast and ASC three days a week from YR; and then was joined by DD when she started YR and he was in Y3. He always loved it. She always hated it.

💯 this.

It's a line that gets trotted out all the time but is almost guaranteed bollocks.

Finishing at 3pm one day a week, or compressed hours into 4 / 4.5 days in absolutely reasonable and to decline his request for being a man would be discriminatory

I would go for an after school nanny . Kids can relax at home and don’t have to worry about being back late to collect them

I guess it depends and works different for each child

I will say, if you do it without wraparound - would you be going straight from work to collecting kids to home? It can be hard when they've been out all day to then have them home telling you they're hungry/demanding attention while you attempt to get food together and remotely maintain a house etc

Sometimes if you have a childminder who can give them dinner and a mix of chill time and activities they benefit more and you don't have pressure of putting food out at set time/cleaning up the mess etc

The image in our heads of a lovely dinner at the table, once there are a couple of ratty/hyper children who've missed you in the day, sometimes just turns to stress and chaos!

If food/house stuff isn't too much of an issue/can be planned in advance etc then it's a lot nicer as you can have quality time at home!

Sometimes also worth checking what the after school clubs are in case there is one or two your child would love as that can help

I'm a childminder I pick up the children who all know each other and are very close like a family unit....from age 4 to 11.
Sometimes we park or library get in have a snack and chat do crafts, play games read or chill. Any child who has had a hard day...bullying, teacher issues, pain that got the blue paper towel treatment etc. Gets a cuddle ear or first aid it's like being at home they treat it like home and they know I care about them.