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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

AU-PAIR kicked out

10 replies

winterwarmmummer · 15/12/2004 22:03

Our au-pair, who is delightful, trustworthy and hardworking, has a friend who she met here who has been kicked out by her family with no notice.

I have given her a bed for the night, but if she is not able to get a flight/bus back home tomorrow what should I do? I don't want to kick her out myself.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheHollyAndTheTwiglett · 15/12/2004 22:12

phone the family and find out why for a start .. what if she was stealing ?

there would have to be a reason to terminate

Original poster

winterwarmmummer · 15/12/2004 22:18

I know that she has been made to work very hard for the family (6 days a week and no evenings off). Today the mother completely freaked out and told her to just clear her stuff out. I don't have any contact details for the family so have taken it completely on trust.

Our au-pair has been in touch with her constantly over the last few months and it sounds like the employer was out of line. Possibly suffering tho as she has just had another baby (no2).

OP posts:

mint · 16/12/2004 10:05

You are kind to take her in. Have u asked her if she is planning to go back to the family to sorts things out. It could have been a misunderstanding or is she planning to move on to another family or trying to get back home. If she comes form europe it shoulden't cost her much. Normally Aupair pick there own travel cost.
Well if she ever decides to come to Spain, Barcelona...she may wish to consider another family? GOOD LUCK

AMerryScot · 16/12/2004 11:13

TBH, this doesn't sound a very likely story. If the au pair has been several months in a family that has been making her work more than the agreed 25 hours a week, she should have left months ago. No one is forcing an au pair to stay.

We asked our au pair to leave last week (gave her a week's notice, which she was frankly lucky to get considering the main reason for the termination). She has told all sorts of people about how hard done by she is - none of which is true at all. If it were true, she'd have been happy to go - but in reality, she's had to leave quite a comfortable job where I was not particularly demanding and where she got away with treating the house like a hotel, lack of respect for us etc.

If you are not sure about taking her in for the week, I would definitely call the family she was with to get their side of the story. I'd also charge her a nominal rent for the week.

lisalisa · 16/12/2004 11:28

Message withdrawn

PaRumPumPumScum · 16/12/2004 11:50

I'd have a chat with her, wwm, and gently ask about her plans. Be sympathetic but also be clear both in your own mind and in your communication with her about what you can and can't offer. Does she have any support from an agency or anything like that?
Personally, I can't see any point in getting in touch with the employing family. Of course you'd get a different perspective but not necessarily a trustworthy one. It sounds like you and your au pair have been following this saga for some time and are quite clear that the family have caused this situation, so I'd concentrate on the next steps for getting her back home/to another family, I think. How old is she, do you know? If she's very young (under 20 say, or def if under 18) I'd feel quite responsible for making sure that she was safe...

PaRumPumPumScum · 17/12/2004 17:14

Any news on your visitor, winterwarmmummer? Hope you got something sorted out.

Kittermaster · 05/03/2005 13:08

Hope she found somewhere to go.

If not, get her to register on www.aupaircompany.com - it is a great site, easy to use and free to register.

Good luck!

MrsWood · 07/04/2005 16:38

Has she contacted her agency? They should help her in this situation - find her another family, temp accomodation, organise her flight back etc. The agency should sort out things with the family that kicked her out as they are their clients and obviously need to be aware of this as they certainly shouldn't be placing another girl with that particular family. This happened to one of my friends when I was an au pair - she accidentaly left the tap on in the bathroom which flooded the room and they flipped and kicked her out in the middle of the evening. My "mother" at the time went to pick her up and gave her shelter for few days. The agency then sorted her out with another family and she was happy there and stayed for a year and a half. The family was reported, and was struck off their books.

ssd · 07/04/2005 17:37

I think it's great that you took her in. I was almost in a similiar situation myself when I was an 18 year old nanny in Canada, and I was working for relatives and I swear it was totally not my fault. I was terrified and a friend of mine told her employer who offered me a place to stay.It didn't come to that, but think of how you'd feel if it was your daughter in this situation..............

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