Nursery withholding pudding

[Roseybuddy]

Hoping to get some advice here.

I am currently 2 months into working at a nursery which my DS (3.5) has recently joined. I have always thought the preschool practitioners are very harsh on the children but now my little one is there I am even more concerned about this.

So, my DS is not the biggest and best eater. I have had around a year and a half of struggling with fussy eating but his previous nursery have done an amazing job in the past 4 months with encouraging eating and trying new foods. His new preschool which is also my new workplace don't encourage but more so, make them eat and it must be all within a time limit otherwise no pudding. This is done infront of the other children, their uneaten meal and pudding is put in the bin infront of them and if or when they are upset by this, no comfort is given.

Quick example, my DS doesn't like curry, never has.

Today lunch was Thai green chicken curry & rice. DS loves rice but nursery mixed the curry up with the rice and made him eat. He sat and cried whilst forcing himself to eat, he managed half. They allowed him his flapjack pudding, he didn't want it by this point so they took it away.

4 hours later at tea time, they serve up turkey paste rolls and cucumber slices, DS isn't hungry but again, made to eat. He eats half the roll and no cucumber. Because he didn't eat the entire roll they told him he wasn't allowed his fruit yoghurt and put it in the bin as punishment for not eating his entire roll.

So really all I want to know is;

1 - can nurseries without food from children as punishment?

2 - I have approached deputy about my disagreement of this to be told, this is how they do it and he will eat eventually. Should I take concern higher to owner?

3 - Surely, if the pudding is a healthy option this shouldn't be taken away without parents agreeing to this? Calories are so important in growing children.

I work with the younger children so am not in the room with DS when this is happening otherwise I would assist in encouraging him to eat. I would never force a child to eat or remove pudding as punishment

Grateful for any advice please, I am only a trainee practitioner so not currently qualified

I wouldn't send mine there for a minute longer.

This sounds really not good at all. I would not be happy at all if this was happening at my son's nursery.

I don't know legalities but I'd be doing something about it for sure

Shocking, outdated practice.

I'm and EYP with over 25 years experience and this is not on at all.

Turkey paste 🤮 they were rotten to withhold fruit and yoghurt for not eating that.

Sadistic. And a good way to give him food issues for life.

This is disgusting! I would be taking my child out as soon as possible!

Like, is this just learned behaviour from some arsehole eyp?

Id be asking where the policy on eating and witholding pudding was.

Horrible

I would try to find a new place of work and new nursery for your son ASAP.
The place sounds awful.

I'd take him the hell out of there!

This is abuse, disgusting behaviour. Please report and safeguard these children.

You have to report this immediately.

Are you withdrawing your child? I think you should, why would you let anyone treat them like this?

Complain higher, this is totally wrong practice.

mealtimes should never be rushed and no food should be getting out in the bin. All children have different appetites and different taste.

Cunts.
safeguard the fuckers.
punishment through withholding food? Cunts.

That's terrible!

Eating food and mealtimes should be pleasurable experiences not anxiety inducing and punishments.

I know you might be worried about your job but I would never have allowed my child to be treated that badly! That's emotional abuse and cruelty.

This

This has made me more vigilant in asking about punishments and how they handle things at my son's nursery. I don't care what anyone has to say, this is abuse. And it's sick.

Other parents surely can't know what is going on! I find it difficult to believe staff are condoning this. You must take it higher

Definitely complain to the owner, in writing as well as verbally. This is awful behaviour and no child should be made to suffer. Do none of the other staff comment on it?!

This is truly shocking. Food should never be used as a tool for punishment, kids should never be pressured to eat and honestly what you're describing sounds like a scene straight out of a Charles Dickens novel. I would never send my child anywhere that did this, not for a second. I'm sorry I don't have much advice as far as you working there but I think if parents knew what was going on they would be livid.

If this is true then I’d be withdrawing my child, handing in my notice and putting in formal complaints about the nursery. No way in hell would I have my child there or work in a facility that encouraged that.

Also, not the point of the thread obviously, but “turkey paste rolls”?! 🤢 is this honestly the kind of crap they get fed at nursery?!

Sounds terrible. I thought they were meant to keep it light and relaxing when it came to picky eating to help them want to try new food. I would def raise it higher and based on the response go to Ofsted.

For what its worth my DS hates curry too. No kid is going to like every meal.

That's an absolute disgrace.

35+ yrs after it happened, I still remember being about aged 8 and bring forced to eat baked fish (no other options left that day). I hate strong smelling fish, always have. My Dad was a teacher at the school and came in at the end of dinnertime to find me the sole child in the dining room, sobbing, with a lunch lady trying to make me eat it. He was furious.

Forced feeding should be considered for abusive IMO. Withholding elements of a meal like this is also abusive, IMO, without any consideration for a child's needs or wants.

Is this policy written down? Do they publicise this? How many kids are experiencing this every day? So parents actually understand this policy and how it looks in practice?!

Sadistic is an excellent word for it.

You cant work there and turn a blind eye