Grandparents no help!

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We're estranged from my husbands parents and my parents just don't help with our daughter. Considering another baby but how do people manage date nights, alone time etc? Anyone in a similar situation?
Just advice please

I pay for a babysitter.

Babysitters
Take turns with other couples

Babysitters

Babysitters, sleep overs, depending on working hours when the dcs are in school/nursery/childminder etc.

Of neuro typical gets easier when they are teens and can be trusted at home for a couple of hours.

This is a primary reason why I only have one child.

We have accepted (happily) that while the children are young, we just won’t be able to have date nights together but once they’re old enough for a babysitter things will change. It’s hard without family help, friends might offer but realistically no one wants to give up their Saturday night to look after someone’s children.

I've given up my evenings to babysit for other couples and they've done the same in return. Even though we don't have family nearby we are fortunate to have multiple close friends. It's managing work when the children are sick that's difficult.

Pay a babysitter and/or swap with friends ... it's hardly a new thing? . I am in my 60s but can still remember my DPs booking a babysitter when they went out. As a teenager I earned loads of cash babysitting, my friends and I had an informal 'business' providing a babysitting service to local families.
When we had our DS we had no local family and just paid a sitter or swapped with friends.

Taylor how do you know that no one wants to give up a Saturday evening babysitting for friends? I have frequently done it with no 'expectation' of a return favour ... I no longer have DC that need babysitting but would happily help out if asked. And no, I don't want or need paying.

I pay £11/hour for a babysitter. Unfortunately

We pay for a babysitter - a woman from nursery we've known for years now. It means every night out costs a fortune and so is a rare treat. Otherwise we socialise separately.

Date nights and alone time simply did not exist when mine were little! We all survived!

We don't have date nights. We get a takeaway once a fortnight when the kids are in bed and usually watch a film or play a game or something together on a Friday night. We book two days annual leave a year for date days whilst kids in nursery.

You pay for a babysitter. The presence of family doesn't automatically guarantee babysitting - its a choice not a given.

You pay for a babysitter. I honestly don't know anyone who has free family babysitting.

Babysitters. When they get to school age they can go on play dates and sleepovers at friends.
Or book annual leave when kids are at school.

That’s really lovely you are happy to. Currently for us, our friends either have their own young children or child free friends tend to have big social lives so it just doesn’t work in our scenario.

I agree with mischance, When mine were young 'date nights' hadn't been invented. We lived miles away from both sets of parents Saturday nights we would have a 2pt bottle of cider and 5 woodbines between us.

We had no help from grandparents either. We just had to get on with it and not have date nights etc. On the odd occasion, my parents or sister would be up visiting and mind the kids, but these times were few and far between. I wouldnt have had a stranger looking after them. It's hard, but it's not forever.

Another for who date nights hadn't yet been invented.

We may have gone to a Christmas do, otherwise we didn't go out together.

We just accepted we won't have nights out together unless it's a special occasion as we don't have family nearby. Doesn't bother me really. Don't fancy paying £10 plus per hour for a babysitter anyway. No meal out is worth that to me! Lost interest in spending loads on meals and drinks out. We can have quality time at home.

You accept your lot, grandparents don't have to care but then you don't have to care for them when they need it

Even though they cared for you?

We don't have alone time.

Date nights don’t really happen.
occasionally date lunches.