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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Grandparents no help!

59 replies

VK12345678 · 11/07/2023 19:22

We're estranged from my husbands parents and my parents just don't help with our daughter. Considering another baby but how do people manage date nights, alone time etc? Anyone in a similar situation?
Just advice please

OP posts:
Bobbi730 · 12/07/2023 00:21

We started a babysitting circle with other friends with no extra support. We had five coloured wooden discs each and we 'paid' the babysitter with one. When we babysat for someone else, we got one. It meant as many nights out as you wanted as long as you were prepared to babysit other times. If you have any friends with small children, it could work for you maybe.

HeddaGarbled · 12/07/2023 00:27

Date nights are a recently made up thing that couples managed without for generations. You can talk about the children and fall asleep before dessert much more cheaply and comfortably at home.

RidingMyBike · 12/07/2023 07:08

Ours are dead so also no help Wink.

Don't go out on date nights but book annual leave and have a day out when they're in childcare/school.

We have occasionally paid for a babysitter but mostly just don't go out together in the evening.

Sign up for Rainbows, Brownies, Beavers. That means kid goes away overnight by the time they're 6 or 7.

threecupsofteaminimum · 12/07/2023 07:51

Neither mine nor my sons parents have ever babysat!

My parents barely see him.

Rocknrollstar · 12/07/2023 08:00

We belonged to what was called a babysitting circle. There were at least 20 members. We all knew each other and met for coffee once a month as well as having an evening meeting once a month with a speaker. If you wanted to go it you phoned round till you found someone who could sit for you. They earnt a point an hour which was registered with the organiser. You had to earn points in order to be able to pay for your sitter. It all worked very smoothly.

Ameanstreakamilewide · 12/07/2023 15:03

Mischance · 11/07/2023 20:20

Date nights and alone time simply did not exist when mine were little! We all survived!

Is 'alone time' just a euphemism for sex?

Sprogonthetyne · 12/07/2023 15:16

We mainly order takeaway once the kids are in bed. We also each have independent friendship groups we sometimes do things with while the other had the kids.

My mum did babysit DC1 while I was in hospital having DC2, but that's the extent of help we've had.

yikesanotherbooboo · 12/07/2023 15:22

Like so many pps, no such thing as a 'date 'night. Having said that , when we only had one child we often went out for a pub lunch or to visit friends. Once we had more children it was harder and we didn't really have the money for nights out. I'm not sure that I would have inconvenienced my parents or ils for the sake of a night out even if they did live nearby.When the DC were older they did occasionally stay with GPs if there was a major social event on eg a wedding or similar.

Downandflirty · 12/07/2023 15:25

We paid for a babysitter and also chose holidays with childcare.

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