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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nursery - Terrible Treatment

52 replies

Locomotiveracer · 21/02/2023 20:00

So DD attended her third 'settling in' session at Nursery today. When I picked her up I could tell that she had been upset straight away. She was the only child there holding her blanket and I know she only screams for her blanket if she's tripped or trapped her finger in a toy or something at home but I took it to nursery and put it in a box just as a precautionary measure.

Her eyes looked bright red so she'd definitely been crying and she didn't look 'with it'

I asked if she had been told off and the one nursery worker said "yeah at dinner time" I asked why and another nursery worker chirped in full of attitude shouting "she wouldn't sit still to eat her dinner so she had been shouted at." At this point DD looked up and looked absolutely petrified. I asked to speak to the manager and had a meeting with the manager. I felt like my concerns were listened to but not sure whether the trust has completely gone, there's just no need to traumatise a child because they wouldn't sit in a chair, she obviously didn't want any dinner!

Not sure where to go from here, whether to pull her out or put it down to one incident and give them the benefit of the doubt. I just can't believe others would also stand by and let this happen, what an absolute bully!

OP posts:

Moonicorn · 21/02/2023 20:02

I think ‘traumatised’ is a bit of an overreaction but they shouldn’t be shouting at the kids anyway, especially not for a non-violent incident and during a settling in session. I would change nursery.

RidingMyBike · 21/02/2023 20:02

They shouldn't be shouting at the children, that's completely inappropriate behaviour from the staff. Did the manager comment on that aspect of it?

Is there a different nursery you could use instead? I know there's often a waiting list at the moment but I wouldn't want mine somewhere children are shouted at?

AndTheSurveySays · 21/02/2023 20:03

Pull her out.
My DD lasted two days at her first nursery before I pulled her out due to appalling, neglectful staff. The second nursery we put her into was lovely. The staff were fantastic, really cared about children and there was certainly no shouting at them.

Kitcaterpillar · 21/02/2023 20:05

I don't want to sound harsh and I know life and childcare is hard but...come on, you obviously can't send her back there. You don't want your daughter going somewhere she's shouted at.

watchfulwishes · 21/02/2023 20:05

That's very shocking - they openly admitted shouting???

She can't go back.

GoodChat · 21/02/2023 20:06

Don't send her there.

freezingpompoms · 21/02/2023 20:07

Christ if they've admitted to shouting so easily what do they do behind closed doors?

Don't send her back.

watchfulwishes · 21/02/2023 20:07

Moonicorn · 21/02/2023 20:02

Being shouted at by strangers in a new setting would be very frightening for such a young child. I would be frightened if that happened to me and I'm an adult!

Proudmamar · 21/02/2023 20:08

Bloody hell get her out

HVPRN · 21/02/2023 20:12

Aww big hugs to your daughter 🧸 how old is she?

Sounds like to me, the settling in session has proven that this nursery is not right for you or your daughter. I'd be after a more nurturing/home from home method.

MILLYmo0se · 21/02/2023 20:14

Bad enough to shout at the poor child but to actually tell the parent you shouted? And say it with an attitude as though you were perfectly justified shouting at a child settling in that wasnt sitting quietly?! Id find an alternative childcare setting OP and state categorically in writing when giving notice that they told you they shouting (do they have policies around behaviour/discipline? If they do Id see if it mentions how they speak to children and quote it too)

Upsidedownagain · 21/02/2023 20:16

Don't send her back. My dd aged 17 works in nurseries. She has experience of 4 different ones and walked out of a trial shift at one where staff shouted.

snowbellsxox · 21/02/2023 20:16

I would ducking hit the roof if a member of staff or anyone for that matter shouted at my child!!!! Wow!!!!! I'm so angry for you

whoruntheworldgirls · 21/02/2023 20:17

Yeah pull her out, my daughters nursery never shouted at the children and nor should they. Hope she's ok.

SnackyOnassis · 21/02/2023 20:18

That's a hard pass. I've never heard a raised voice at my son's nursery and I've seen the children pull some much more infuriating stunts than not sitting in a chair.

I'm so glad for you both that you found it out this early, you can get her out and into the right setting before she has a chance to be regularly experiencing this kind of staff behaviour.

Sherrystrull · 21/02/2023 20:18

I would pull her out. That's unacceptable.

However, it would be unsafe for her running around while there is hot food around. She will need to learn to sit during dinner. How old is she?

Badger1975 · 21/02/2023 20:19

Change nursery. Staff members shouting (and worryingly happy to admit that to parents which indicates they find it acceptable) at young children is completely unacceptable. At settling in sessions when children are no doubt frightened anyway! Well done for following up and having a chat with the manager but there is no way on earth I would accept an environment like that for my child. Good luck I hope your daughter is ok

3WildOnes · 21/02/2023 20:19

I wouldn't send her back.

VariantHela · 21/02/2023 20:21

Pull her out. Not the same situation but I left a nursery practitioner role because a couple of staff members laid into kids verbally over stupid, small things. It didn't sit right with me and some kids became withdrawn when they were around. It should never be like that. Staff were also never completely transparent with the parents picking them up either.

Mamette · 21/02/2023 20:26

asked if she had been told off and the one nursery worker said "yeah at dinner time" I asked why and another nursery worker chirped in full of attitude shouting "she wouldn't sit still to eat her dinner so she had been shouted at." At this point DD looked up and looked absolutely petrified

wtf

Don’t send her back in there. They sound rude and awful and obviously haven’t the first clue about children or are so overworked they have lost the plot completely. Either way I would be going nowhere near them again.

Danikm151 · 21/02/2023 20:27

I pulled my son out of nursery after some incidents.. 2 involving a trip to a&e and when I overheard the way a member if staff was talking to the children.
I told the manager if she’s speaking to the children like that when parents are around, how is she speaking to them when they’re not?
they promised change but my trust in them was gone.

a couple months later i saw they had an ofsted inspection… inadequate and on special measures.
my instincts were right…. Go with yours

Suzi888 · 21/02/2023 20:28

As above. That would break my heart.

lemonmama · 21/02/2023 20:29

I would for sure change nurseries. During a settling in session she would probably be needing extra comfort. To shout at a child when they're new to the whole nursery and routine and to then admit that to you like it's a normal thing is a red flag I'd say. They shouldn't be shouting at the children regardless.

templesit · 21/02/2023 20:36

Pull her out 100% can't believe you're asking the question.

Also I'd make ofsted aware.

propacrimbo · 21/02/2023 20:37

That's utterly disgusting, particularly when it's only her third visit. To admit it so brazenly, i'd be fucking livid. Nasty bullies. Don't send her back there

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