Can I get childcare to cover labour?

[AllTheBestNamesWereTaken]

This would mean having someone on-call 24/7 for up to 5 weeks and paid a retainer at least for this whole time. They’d need to stay local and be prepared to drop everything at a moment’s notice, quite possibly in the middle of the night. Is it realistic to think I could find someone prepared to do this?

Would childcare concerns be justification for a maternal request C-section do you think?

Seems your mother is making an ultimatum (very unfairly). If you want help from me with this birth it will be as birthing partner not as childminder for my grandchild.

i think you need to work from there. So she may be ruling herself out of being there.

If there's only one family member available, then they need to be with the child. You can manage, but at this time a young child needs reassurance and security, not a stranger.

This is nuts. You have two options much easier than getting childcare on standby

1. Your dds grandmother looks after her at home
2. You go to hospital alone and DH stays with child.

I'd pick 1) given a choice. Your mother is clearly quite dominant and you might want to set her straight sooner rather than later.

Why does she think you are making excuses? Excuses for what ? This is child birth not a piano recital.

She's sounds a nightmare tbh. If she wants to help she needs to take your direction.

What's the plan anyway for her? Is she local ? Will she be on stand by with a bag in car etc ?

Did you have a normal quick first birth? I birthed at home with DH, went into Labour at night as you'd expect and baby was born before eldest got up. Have to admit didnt really think about childcare too much, I had a couple of friends I could call if I needed to but I knew it was likely to be quick.

You're overthinking it, your mum is around (do you even want her there at the birth? She shouldn't be the priority dictating to you) your DH is there, it's not like you're going to end up alone or with no childcare.

Just see what develops over the next 6 months.

If you are considering a home birth and you have DH and DM there then they can take it in turn to look after DD whilst you give birth.

Alternative (I also live in Surrey) go to local park or play groups, where there will be loads of au pair’s, nannies and Mums who may be able to offer suggestions.

This! Your mum is the obvious answer.

This! Your mum is the obvious answer.

How are so many posters not grasping that the grandmother doesn't want to look after a toddler?
And, I'm sympathetic and do understand how disappointing that is but the fact is, she didn't plan these children, she isn't obliged to care for her grandchildren if she doesn't want to.
Op is absolutely entitled to say no to her being at the birth but that doesn't automatically mean that she'll be willing to care for the toddler.