My husband and I are expecting our son in May, after 6 months mat leave I plan to return to my job full time and there has been some family discussion around childcare. MIL and FIL insist on helping us by having baby 1-2 days a week if not more, the issue is their house is unclean to the point that it's an environmental hazard, housing association replaced their kitchen because their two dogs pissed on the floor that much it rotted. They do not clean, vacuum or look after the place. The carpets are black with dirt. They smoke so much the ceilings are yellow and everything stinks of smoke the moment you enter and leave. There is black mold from the house not being heated adequately and ventilated enough.
I cannot in my right mind let them look after my baby, I just feel sick thinking about it. Tummy time would be a nightmare unless baby is on a new rug and stays there all day. I have mentioned this quite frankly to them and they say they will sort it, but I really don't think 40 years of habitual general uncleanliness is going to suddenly change.
They abused by husband and his siblings when they were little, and my husband is a wreck from it still. I won't go into detail just know it's bad, it is not sexual abuse, it was drug abuse (they were addicts) physical beatings, prolonged starvation and neglect. I am uncomfortable even being around them let alone letting them baby sit. (I understand if some of you say, "well why even speak to them etc" it is very complex, they are still in his life very much so and have 'made amends' but I don't think amends can be made for what they did.
It's not even a question in my mind that they will not be around my child without supervision from myself and my husband. My husband does think they have changed and would be adequate babysitters which just blows my mind he would make that assessment. He thinks they want to be grandparents so badly they have changed as people and will not harm our kid.
I personally just want to put my child in nursery or with a childminder when I go back to work, this all seems insane to me. Husband is supportive of both options but also wants his parents to very much have a bond with their grandchild.
What would you do in this situation?