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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

My childminder left my daughter all day with her assistant

82 replies

Glamourgal1989 · 27/10/2022 21:39

And I have just heard about it ! I’m absolutely furious. Her husband got really sick so she needed to go with him to hospital, I could have accepted the first time it happened but it happened more than once and she left the children with the assistants for much more than 2 hours. I only know about it because a friend mention it in passing and I put 2 and 2 together.

I mentioned it to the childminder and she admitted it but also got very defensive when I told her I was unhappy and that I should have been told. I never would have left her in the care of the assistant. I want to take my daughter from her care and complain to Ofsted. Would you do the same ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

2020firsttimemum · 27/10/2022 21:43

I think we need more info here

Why are you not happy for her to be left with the assistant?
Is the assistant qualified to be left on their own with the children?
Was the assistant over the ratio?
Was anyone else there to help the assistant?

So many questions

But if the assistant was qualified and was able to care for the children (I.e within ratio) I don't think I'd have a problem with it.

Obviously if she was incapable for whatever reason then yes maybe so

Kite22 · 27/10/2022 21:47

I think there are quite a few "it depends" in here.

Who is the assistant ? A colleague with years of experience or a 16 yr old apprentice ?
Although I see you say "assistants" - so the combination of who was being looked after and who was looking after them comes in to play here.

Was this an emergency, that her dh was taken in to hospital for ?

You absolutely should know about it, but I should imagine the vast majority of parents who are at work would be glad that, despite the CMer having to deal with a potential emergency, their dc were still able to be looked after by two familiar people that you are happy that they are looked after by on all the other days, rather than having to shoot out of work and charge home at that minute.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/10/2022 21:48

What is covered in your contract re Assitants stepping in? Does her Ofsted mention anything about Assistants?

youagainomg · 27/10/2022 21:48

Her husband got really sick and she left your child with a person she employs who she trusts to watch people's children's. Complete overreaction from you.

Guessie · 27/10/2022 21:59

youagainomg · 27/10/2022 21:48

Her husband got really sick and she left your child with a person she employs who she trusts to watch people's children's. Complete overreaction from you.

I agree with this. I mean some people literally just find babysitters on the Internet and meet with them a couple of times before leaving them with their kids. You're talking about a clearly qualified person covering in an emergency. I'd be 100% fine with this.

MajorCarolDanvers · 27/10/2022 22:02

I don't see what the problem is.

This is her employee who will be disclosure checked and will know your child.

And it was an emergency. Have some compassion.

And stop overreacting.

NiceTwin · 27/10/2022 22:03

As you aren't happy with the assistant looking after your dd, you should ask the cm to tell you if the situation arises again.
That way, you can look after your own dd.

I think you are overreacting. Her dh was ill, have some bloody compassion.

cocktailclub · 27/10/2022 22:05

If I was your childminder I'd be very upset that I'd done everything to make sure your childcare wasn't disrupted whilst my husband was unwell. Maybe you don't trust her choice of assistant?

Chantelle302412 · 27/10/2022 22:06

God help you if your partner ever got really sick. You’d leave your job for someone qualified to keep it going without question.. you are being unreasonable especially if this person is employed by childminder and is qualified.

user1477249785 · 27/10/2022 22:09

I think if this happened to me, my only thought would be that I hope her husband was ok and how nice of her to arrange alternative care when she had a family crisis going on.

ApolloandDaphne · 27/10/2022 22:11

The childminder made sure your child was safely looked after while she went to hospital with her DH and you want to complain? Have some compassion.

Wnikat · 27/10/2022 22:12

reverse or you’re just a dreadful person

Cuck00soup · 27/10/2022 22:15

user1477249785 · 27/10/2022 22:09

I think if this happened to me, my only thought would be that I hope her husband was ok and how nice of her to arrange alternative care when she had a family crisis going on.

100% This. I literally wouldn't have another thought. Oh and I'd be glad that my child was looked after by someone they knew.

ShouldntHaveBeenSoHasty · 27/10/2022 22:16

Is the assistant fully trained and someone that you already know works there? Did the childminder leaving mean the ratios were over the allowed amounts?

Ive always had a close relationship with childminders that I’ve used so I can’t imagine being upset about this unless it left my child in danger or with someone unknown/ unchecked. It sounds like it was an emergency and she clearly needed to be with her husband. If it was more of a nursery type setting I’d be a bit unimpressed but still, emergencies happen.

Lindy2 · 27/10/2022 22:18

Her assistant can be her emergency cover.

Your child was safe and with an adult your childminder trusts.

How us the childminder's husband by the way? You remember, the one experiencing a medical emergency bad enough to unexpectedly end up in hospital.

I think you've got your priorities very wrong and I hope your childminder gives you notice to end your childcare.

Lucycantdance · 27/10/2022 22:18

Hmmmmm

LolaSmiles · 27/10/2022 22:18

Going against the grain here but I'd not be happy.
A childcare assistant doesn't have to have any qualifications so aren't necessarily as well trained qualified childcare staff. Ignoring the two hours guidelines has happened more than once and she's been defensive when you've asked.
As a parent I'd be concerned that if something like that is ignored, what else is ignored, and if she's not willing to be transparent then what else am I not being told about?

I'd not be furious and on a human level I'd have sympathy for her husband's situation, but I'd probably be exploring other providers.

MadeForThis · 27/10/2022 22:19

How often did it happen? And did she not mention it on pickup?

Mariposista · 27/10/2022 22:32

Ok so she should leave her husband to potentially die alone or be in agony in hospital and not be there to make decisions for his treatment in hospital - just as long as YOU are happy. Ffs. I really hope you don’t ever get a family emergency - you wouldn’t cope.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/10/2022 22:39

As others said who are the assistants ?

if they are people who work with her day to day so that she can have more then 3 under 5 and 6 under 8

then I don’t see the problem

if you would prefer cm to contact you if she had an emergency and say pick up now please rather then her find suitable childcare while she rushed to hospital , then let her know this

you sound a little precious

if you trust your cm , then trust her judgement @Glamourgal1989

if you don’t trust you cm , give notice and find a new one

ParbadosBeach · 27/10/2022 22:50

As far as I know, assistants can only look after the children on their own for up to 2 hours.
But I'm not sure if that's different in emergency situations like this.

SkylightSkylight · 27/10/2022 22:50

If you don't trust your CM to look after your DD, including who she leaves her with in an emergency, then do her & yourself a favour & find alternative childcare. She didn't leave her with a 22 yo yo go to the pub, she left them with her assistant to accompany her DH to the hospital.

You're creating a big fat fuss over this, in her position I'd give you notice.

converseandjeans · 27/10/2022 22:53

I think if this happened to me, my only thought would be that I hope her husband was ok and how nice of her to arrange alternative care when she had a family crisis going on.

This 👆🏻👆🏻

hiredandsqueak · 27/10/2022 23:04

I think that if you don't trust the childminder to have competent assistants who were able to continue caring for your child in a family emergency then you obviously shouldn't be using the childminder for your child's care. I would be grateful that the assistant was able to cover for the childminder in her absence rather than calling you to collect your child and having no childcare until the family emergency was over.

lancastercourt · 27/10/2022 23:10

As a former childminder I do think she's a bit out of order not letting you know herself and I know she's had a medical emergency but that isn't really an excuse. I had a few medical emergencies with my youngest child whilst working including ambulance/hospital and her being pretty damn poorly ( I thought she'd die at one point) but I always managed to openly communicate with parents.

As a parent I think you maybe over reacting- you presumably trust this woman with the most important thing to you so surely you trust her judgment in who she employs etc

My daughters childminder has just asked for permission so that her assistant can take my child and another to a weekly forest school group( rest of the kids do it a different day that the two kids don't attend and she didn't want ours to miss out which I thought was pretty thoughtful!) it never crossed my mind to not give permission. Her assistant has a current dbs, paediatric first aid trained, full drivers licence with business insurance, a child care qualification and she knows my child well including her complex medical history - I trust the childminder and her assistants more then friends and family when it comes down to it actually.

If you don't trust your childminder and by extension her assistants then you really need a new childcare provider

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