Should we get rid of our nanny

[Timetomovejob]

We pay €20 an hour for 40 hours a week, which I think we’re starting to find very hard to justify so not sure if I’m not thinking clearly…ideally we would have a nanny that drives but (I’ll call her) X doesn’t. The school is a 30 min walk away which is ok for pick up but feel bad making kids walk that twice a day in winter on the days she does drop off (she does two long days, 8-6, 3 short 11-5.30). When she does drop off (nursery drop off is at 9) she doesn’t come back home, it sounds like she just hangs out, meets sister for coffee until pick up at 12. We had agreed when keeping her on for 40 hours when the little one took her 3 free nursery hours that she would pick up more work in the house, but this isn’t really being done. Because she doesn’t drive we need to pay for the time it takes her to walk for the pick up (hence being paid from 11), then she’ll come home for about 12.35, then relax on her phone having lunch until she leaves for the older ones at 1.30 (we’re not in UL, earlier school finish times). She also just informed us (didn’t ask) of the dates of her holidays, one 3 week one in September, another one week in term time. We are going to struggle to cover these and may have to pay someone to do so as obviously wr want to keep our holidays for out of term time. On the other hand, the kids absolutely love her.
what do you think we should do? Are we being unfair to her or has this just run it’s course and we should either look for someone who can drive, or get an au pair possibly?

The very fact that you said "get rid of" makes me think she'd be better off working somewhere else. She's a human being who takes care of your children and she should be treated with dignity and respect.

If you do decide to end her employment, make sure you follow employment laws wherever you are and treat her fairly.

Your kids are walking an hour a day, that is priceless. They are building bone density, combatting obesity, they are getting fresh air, have time way from screens to watch the world.
please don’t sack her because of this!

It sounds like she's getting paid quite a lot to do not very much.

I would terminate her contract and find someone who can drive. Make clear your expectations from the start.

The way you talk about her alone is disgusting. Do the woman a favour and let her go find a family who value her. She's raising your kids so you don't have to.

End this employment. She is getting paid to have coffee with her sister?!

It’s not value for money. No issue with the kids walking but you are paying for her to go for a walk and drink coffee with friends.

you need someone who drives and can nip home to tidy up, do the laundry . Also understand 30 mins walking being tiring for young children at the end of a day

Why don't they all cycle? Then the minder can come back and do housework until collection. You are paying her a lot to drink coffee.

Walking or cycling to school is priceless and will benefit the kids and their health.

She isn't doing what you pay her to do.

The set up is not really working from the sounds of it although you may struggle to get someone who would work part time. Would a childminder work better?

Sounds like you can't afford a nanny. Not everyone can.

If you want to get an au pair, bear in mind the ages of children they can be in some charge of and the maximum hours they can work.

No, it sounds like the nanny is taking the piss! She isn't doing what she is paid to do, she's drinking coffee with her sister.

If it takes half an hour to walk there then she if she walked back rather than having a coffee that's 2 hours at home. That is totally doable

Have you room for an au-pair?

It doesn't sound like you need a nanny. Most nurseries and wrap-around care will provide the hours you are looking for.

While on the face of it you’re paying for 40 hours for what is essentially the school run and afternoon care, I suppose the question is what other viable alternatives are available to you?

Could you or your partner do the morning drop off yourselves, increase the youngest child’s nursery hours so they finish around the same time as dc in school and then pay for afternoon pick up and childcare?

Hi OP - are you in Ireland? You mention euros. Just wondering because good nannies who drive are like hen’s teeth here and come at a price premium. I would consult with some of the agencies first before assuming you’ll get one easily.

It’s a tricky one when children start to go to nursery or school as the need for a full time nanny is not the same as before and she will have downtime. We are in the same boat as our children are now at school but we still need cover for school holidays (and don’t want to go down the route of holiday clubs as one of our children has ASD) so we decided to keep our (wonderful) nanny on.

We agreed when the youngest went to nursery that the hours the nanny wasn’t on duty in the morning would be put into babysitting hours where she would cover a night out once a fortnight and a weekend away every now so that DH and I could basically rebuild our relationship after nearly ten years of preschoolers. Not sure if that’s an option for you? Clearly the ‘do extra housework’ approach isn’t working so either you change what you ask of her or you have to micromanage on a daily basis what you ask her to do.

That being said my experience is that when an employee starts to annoy you (and you sound clearly irritated) the relationship is effectively terminal - it will end sooner or later. Just be mindful of employment law when ending it - you don’t want her claiming for unfair dismissal. Then decide if a new nanny on different hours who drives is for you, or if you want to explore an alternative childcare solution. Be aware though that the second option may be cheaper but it also requires a lot more hands on work for parents.

She is getting paid very well to sit and have coffee with her friend, sounds like a dream job. You need to employ someone who can actually do the job they are paid to do.

@Timetomovejob what would you do for childcare without her?

whats the nanny market like where you are, could you find someone else?

it does sound alike this set up is too one way. In my experience what nannies do for you does have a gradual decline over time and a shift in circumstances (eg staying full time once all the kids are at school) requires girl boundaries at the start of the new set up on the new responsibilities now the nanny doesn’t have the kids all day.

ive also found that once it’s started sliding it’s hard to recover it.

so if I were you, yes I’d look at other options. Au pair, another nanny. Or advertise a new job as nanny / housekeeper so the housework responsibilities are clearer and agreed up front.

Or reduce her hours to after school so you’re not paying her to socialise, and get a cleaner?

Good boundaries!

I'd give her notice. And make sure that your next nanny's contract is clear on how holiday requests work and when they can take it.

She is getting paid very well to sit and have coffee with her friend, sounds like a dream job.

Thats one way of looking at it (and seems to be how the OP views it) but on the other hand OP requires somebody to sometimes do drop off for 9, then pick up at 12, then pick up at 1.30 and then take care of (3 I think?) dc until 5.30 or 6.

I think rather than breaking this down by cost per hour it’s worth looking at it as the overall childcare cost for whatever number of children and bearing in mind that she is available full time in the day. I mean I’m guessing if nursery or school phone at 10.30 to say a child is sick and needs to be collected then the nanny is “on”?

Does she actually need to do more housework or is it a case of “getting my money’s worth” because you pay by the hour? I can see why it could be galling to feel like you’re paying her to drink coffee with her sister some mornings but I still think you need to be realistic about what alternatives you have and what these would cost you given you need somebody at various times through the day.

Could you continue until your little one starts regular Primary so you will only need someone from school closing time until evening. Your c will be older and perhaps aftershock would suit them then.
When she arrives back from nursery ..before primary kids come in could she do some housework then so at least kitchen is nice for your arrival home.
Does the little one have to walk back to school to collect the others..some amount of walking for a preschooler but obviously they are managing.

That sounds like a lot of money for someone that doesn't drive.

I'd contact a local agency first and see how easy it is to get a driver and how much it would cost.

It's too many hours for an au pair.

A nanny/housekeeper who can drive sounds like a better fit for your family.