Why do people complain about childcare costs?

[Teawithsugar40]

I’m a working mother and 65% (was previously near 100%) of my salary goes on childcare, we get by but holidays etc are out of the question. We’re not rich and have small children, it’s just how it is. I don’t resent what we pay and feel quite lucky that we’re a few hundred better off than if I was doing the equally important job of caring for my children full time.
Maybe because when I had my first child there was absolutely no childcare help and scant provision but I really don’t understand so many people these days complaining about childcare costs, especially when it still leaves them better off working? Totally understand single parents needing help and thankfully they have had generous help for years but why are couples who are definitely not on the breadline complaining? Did they seriously think they could have children without making any sacrifices and why do they expect people often worse off them themselves to pay for maintaining their previous lifestyle?

@workingtheusername

The problem is the cost of living has massively increased but wages have not so for a lot of people there is a massive struggle. If you do earn enough to pay all bills with money to spare you shouldn't really complain you are in a privileged position. I was a childcare provider, I wasn't well off but so many parents whilst they appreciated what I did they begrudged they cost. I generally found well off people who did not get childcare subsidised were worst.

As I said we don’t have money to spare, unless you call a small budget for kids birthdays, the odd day out etc. I’ve said all the way through that absolutely agree with help for families on universal credit etc, I’ve been in that position. I’m talking about couples who want everyone else to pay their childcare costs because they haven’t been able to maintain their holiday a year etc lifestyle

I don't want to fund middle-class parents to have even cheaper childcare.

If I was a single parent I’d be getting 80% of my childcare costs paid for me.

This is about income levels, not being a single parent. When I was a lone parent I had 0% of my childcare costs paid for me.

If you're old enough to have had babies prior to 1999 you're old enough to know that at that time, ie close to a quarter of a century ago, work, benefits especially the claimant commitment (which didn't exist), transport and housing were all very different.

Only if you live in a world where you don’t hold men responsible for raising their children

I think it’s more the years and years of entrenched sexism and structural inequality that has made childcare a tax on women, not because we haven’t been holding men responsible enough…

@Simonjt

When our adoption leave ends we’ll be paying £1,240 a month for three days a week, it would be £1,960 if we needed five days.

Good quality childcare with appropriate hours isn’t affordable for a lot of parents, we need more subsidised childcare in the UK. Early years is really neglected by our government.

If you will be suffering/unable to afford basic costs because of these costs then yes you should be getting help, either with childcare or to be able to stay at home with your children. Whichever you feel best suits you as a family. I’m not disagreeing with that

It is perfectly ordinary for someone to have a child. It also perfectly ordinary to feel that something really expensive is, well, really expensive. Especially when that something is essential.

Childcare is expensive. Childcare is essential.

Every winter we have articles about the cost of heating and how expensive it can be, but I don’t see anyone say, “But you know you have to heat your home!”.

We have to pay £865 per child for childcare 3 days a week where we live. I don’t complain because we can afford it but that’s the cheapest nursery around here and I know others just cannot afford that.

I’ll be honest and say, I never fully considered childcare costs before I had my two. Luckily we both earn well so it’s not too big a problem.

Yy all those people living in a northern hemisphere country and complaining about the costs of heating and lighting. What do they expect? Etc.

Because it's the most expensive in Europe by a country mile and because you have to have a household income of at least 40k to make it worth working, at least in the south east, which is way above the average salary so out of reach of most single parents and many couples. The high childcare costs is the most significant factor in the gender pay gap, it has a massive detrimental impact on women's lives, I can't believe that anyone would think this is an acceptable situation. Makes me furious.

Only if you live in a world where you don’t hold men responsible for raising their children.

We can all tell men they're responsible and there are a lot of great Dads out there but the reality comes down to money.

The scandalous undeniable gender pay gap means that it is usually the men who have the bigger salary, therefore the woman gives up work.

@Feliana

If you're old enough to have had babies prior to 1999 you're old enough to know that at that time, ie close to a quarter of a century ago, work, benefits especially the claimant commitment (which didn't exist), transport and housing were all very different.

Still how could you buy/rent a house as a single parent when wages were £3 an hour and you received not a penny towards childcare??? Often literally the only way you could manage if had a young child was to not work. Being a single parent even after the huge house price boom etc was beyond a far easier experience, still no holidays etc but was grateful we had enough to eat, off little treat etc. I’ve said all along I don’t begrudge any help at all single parents get

Yes, non-working single parents used to be common. Because without subsidised childcare that now exists, only those with free childcare through relatives or earning high wages could afford to work. I know a few women who never did a paid days work after their Husband left them looking after the children alone.

🙄 big of you. Single parents aren't a special category btw. They get the same as everyone else. They just have less to start with.

I'm glad you're happy about your childcare costs. Good for you.

It's obvious why people who are genuinely poor complain about it.

In terms of why others complain - possibly because it's indicative of how much worse the economy is than it used to be, generally, that it is now so unaffordable for parents to survive on one income. It's similar to people complaining about the housing market etc.

I have 20 month old twins and for them to be at nursery full time costs £2,100 per month. My full time wage is £1,500, so go figure.

Even with my husband's decent salary, it just isn't worth me working. Childcare in this country is only worthwhile if you earn a substantial amount.

Because in many other countries (even poorer ones) childcare is heavily subsidized. When we bought our first home, we stopped qualifying for UC which meant we could only get tax free childcare. Even with that help, most of one of our salaries was going to pay for childcare, it was actually "more efficient" for one of us to not work, but my DH thinks he's too old for that and I'm very much a career person (it did pay off in the end BTW).

@middleofthelittle

It's short term thinking. Between age 1-3 when childcare is expensive, although there is 20% from government and UC will pay an amount of on low income of single parent. I was shocked that a friend in 37k still gets universal credit for her childcare, of course that's great but many people don't look into these options and write it off as expensive.

Then complain they can't find work between 9.30-2.30 mon-Fri term time when their children start school🤨🤨

Women should put their career at the same level of Importance as their partners, childcare costs are split. No one is working for nothing if the costs are shared.

Pension contributions, NI contributions, lack of increase in pay scales, losing skills and work connections are all lost for the woman most of the time. Protect those things by continuing to work. Think long term.

You see I disagree, the issue lies in lack of flexible working and support for women who have taken career breaks (or want to remain in work with a decent work life balance) All very well saying that women should put their career at such high value but the reality of juggling work and kids can be quite bleak in some jobs and some mothers don’t want to miss that time either. I’d much rather my taxes went to support all low income families not just bump up the lifestyle of professional dual income couples. And really.. people can’t complain if they can’t be bothered to look up the help that is available to them. Universal credit isn’t some obscure scheme??

@Onlyrainbows

Because in many other countries (even poorer ones) childcare is heavily subsidized. When we bought our first home, we stopped qualifying for UC which meant we could only get tax free childcare. Even with that help, most of one of our salaries was going to pay for childcare, it was actually "more efficient" for one of us to not work, but my DH thinks he's too old for that and I'm very much a career person (it did pay off in the end BTW).

Yes because caring for your little one is as important job as any. If you were struggling to afford the basics then that’s a problem with our benefits system which needs fixing

There is always an assumption on these threads that everyone has a career.

@BeardyButton

I totally agree. I was only saying something similar to one of my children recently. She was complaining about having to go up chimneys to sweep. I was telling her how she should be happy to have any job at all, even if it just pays for a half loaf of stale bread. I mean it is just right and proper that our landlord insists we pay 110 percent of our incomes on rent. He has an estate to fund and everything.

Women should put their career at the same level of Importance as their partners, childcare costs are split. No one is working for nothing if the costs are shared.

I never quite understand this view. We have shared finances and childcare is never assumed to be “my” cost. However if I earned less than the cost of childcare (I don’t), while I wouldn’t be working for nothing, it would still be the case that as a family we’d be better off if I didn’t work.

@CustardCreamm

I have 20 month old twins and for them to be at nursery full time costs £2,100 per month. My full time wage is £1,500, so go figure.

Even with my husband's decent salary, it just isn't worth me working. Childcare in this country is only worthwhile if you earn a substantial amount.

I would want at least £2100 a month to care for twins! Seriously our system should have it so you get help if your struggling

The issue is that it's a combination of factors that have come in over time. Jobs are expecting more and more flexibility while childcare provision is generally fixed hours and needs to be consistent. People are forced by housing and employment opportunities to move away from family networks leaving then tied to traditional childcare hours and housing costs close to city centres mean that even what used to be cheap "dodgy" areas are unaffordable adding a long commute to the childcare times both adding costs and reducing the hours that can be worked.

Admittedly you can get your child into childcare near work but this merely delays the issue until school age as you are highly unlikely to get a child into a (state) school near your work (and private school fees are more than nursery fees).

Where we used to live there was minimal wrap around provision (2 days until 5.30, one day until 4.30) and funnily enough the local childminders had massive waiting lists - which you could hardly join if you were on the edge of the catchment and not sure which school you'd end up in...

You can't simultaneously get on your bike for a job and have a robust support network around allowing you to work like you don't have children!

Given the choice, I would prefer to have children back when costs of living were lower and housing was cheaper than the “help” we get nowadays. It was definitely cheaper and easier years ago.