Why do people complain about childcare costs?

[Teawithsugar40]

I’m a working mother and 65% (was previously near 100%) of my salary goes on childcare, we get by but holidays etc are out of the question. We’re not rich and have small children, it’s just how it is. I don’t resent what we pay and feel quite lucky that we’re a few hundred better off than if I was doing the equally important job of caring for my children full time.
Maybe because when I had my first child there was absolutely no childcare help and scant provision but I really don’t understand so many people these days complaining about childcare costs, especially when it still leaves them better off working? Totally understand single parents needing help and thankfully they have had generous help for years but why are couples who are definitely not on the breadline complaining? Did they seriously think they could have children without making any sacrifices and why do they expect people often worse off them themselves to pay for maintaining their previous lifestyle?

@BlusteryLake

No substantive life choice is a permanent bed of roses, and people are allowed to have a moan about the downsides. Do you never complain about your job, or commute or partner? These are all choices people make that might have downsides. Just because you can (just about) afford something doesn't mean you can't feel a little resentful about the bills at times. Perhaps your friends might choose a more sympathetic ear next time.

I get that and can understand someone saying things a bit tight for them at the moment because of nursery costs, dog food, mortgage, bills etc but it’s the indignation of some couples as if it’s totally unjustified that they are having to pay a fair rate for someone taking on this huge task for them

So I have done a quick per, per pupil hour cost of an infant school. I took the total school budget of my village school, divided it by the number of pupils, then by 39 weeks, then by 30 hours a week. Its only a rough calculation but it came to £5.03 an hour.
Obviously parents are also paying for more hours of childcare than children go to state school for and childcare.

Is it time for state early years education to start younger as it does in otger european countries.

I agree that the cost of childcare is a barrier to women who work and the government should subsidise it more, but the question is how will they subsidise it? if the government raises taxes (or NI), there will be an outcry and if they don't then other services will suffer as money is diverted away from them in order to fund childcare. Increased wages would be the ideal solution but then employers would cite that it would be unprofitable and redundancies would need to happen to afford it. It's all a bit of a mess really.

Oh bore off. Not everyone is content with grafting away and having a hugely curtailed lifestyle just for the privilege of having children. The faux naivety and smugness coming from your posts is off the charts.

If childcare costs take up a huge amount of a parent's earnings then that's a massive problem, surely you can see that?

Then you're basically running a household on one income which unless you're a high earner just isn't possible.

So a family struggles on one income. They have the choice of working and paying sometimes 100% or more on childcare or they don't work and they're also fucked.

Either way, the impact is generally on women, it's their earnings potential, career progression, pension savings etc that are fucked.

I would absolutely support state funded childcare alongside fully funded education including university. We can afford this as a society, we choose not to.

@babouchette

Oh bore off. Not everyone is content with grafting away and having a hugely curtailed lifestyle just for the privilege of having children. The faux naivety and smugness coming from your posts is off the charts.

Yeah obvious and goady. Yawn!

@SleepingStandingUp

Op perhaps you could start some other helpful threads...

Why do parents moan that they're tired when they have kids, we all know children wake in the night

Why do people complain about the cost of private rent, we shouldn't expect landlords to subsidise your choice to not have a mortgage

Why do people complain when anything in their life is less than 100% perfect, we all know you can't always be happy all the time!

Yes if it’s people who are generally suffering because of their childcare bills then yes I would have sympathy, just like I would for parents being up all night etc. However if you read my original post I’m not talking about people who are struggling to afford the basics. We have to watch the pennies very closely, can’t afford lots of things other people would consider almost essentials but we’re not suffering

It's because childcare IS expensive. Many parents can't afford it on their wages. IImagine working foe next to nothing, having all the stress that working brings and not even earnd enough to run a car or cover any other expenses that come with a job because of childcare costs. That is the reality for many parents.

If you had to guess, why would you say that people complain OP?

@cakeandcustard

It should be heavily subsidised by the government. You can't panic about a falling birth rate while simultaneously making it prohibitively expensive to have children

yes agree , i do seem to be reading a lot about falling birthrates in the west and obviously there are factors at play , when the cost of living and then childcare on top gets too expensive then i guess its obvious people are going to either not have kids or limit themselves to only 1 or 2 . i havent looked into it so if i get accused of talking nonsense il accept it , but i think i might be right in saying its third world countries where its higher at least i have seen articles in the past , which is odd considering these countries are so much poorer than western ones ,but the difference might be that men traditonally go to work , wives stay at home . look after kids and house , hence no childcare costs to pay

I dont understand the point to your post?

Childcare is prohibitively expensive to many people which inevitably means Mums end up leaving the workplace in order to have a much wanted child. Because it can very much boil down to having a family or keeping working.

Imagine how many women could be working if the childcare costs were more like that in Europe.

I used to earn £880 a month part time, and paid £525 for 2 days of childcare for one child. Therefore when we wanted to expand our family I chose to leave work and it took 10 years to get back.

When I had my eldest 2:
4 months base maternity pat
No childcare vouchers or tax free
No "free 30 hours"
It was absolutely feckin dire.
No 3, I had all of the above. It made a huge difference.
But I have never ever lost sight of just how hard it is financially to get through those years. I have huge empathy with working women struggling.

I complained when I used to have to pay childcare costs. (7 years ago)

During the years that we had 2 children in childcare, it was costing me £14,000 a year. To me that's a lot of money and it was going up 10% every year at the time. At the time we earned just above the threshhold for tax credits so we got no help towards it at all. We couldn't even access "free childcare hours" as there was not enough provision in my local authority for all children.

Hallelujah when they started school and all I had to cough up is £1,600 a year for after school club.

Sorry if you can't understand that but I don't give a ....

I also complain about the cost of my gas and electricity going up.

Because it's disgusting that in this country there is no subsidised childcare from an early age, and even once you get 15 or 30 free hours it's still expensive. It hugely attributes to the gender pay gap and keeps women "in their place".

@Ylvamoon

It's because childcare IS expensive. Many parents can't afford it on their wages. IImagine working foe next to nothing, having all the stress that working brings and not even earnd enough to run a car or cover any other expenses that come with a job because of childcare costs. That is the reality for many parents.

and all that for the bottom line is your grafting away for nothing to pay a stranger to have your kid all bloody day is another nail in the coffin

Because it is really expensive and a lot of people have no choice but to pay it. But also because a lot of people think it should be cheaper and that nurseries overcharge because they don't understand it's a business, not just something parents should be entitled to. 5 years ago when Dd was in nursery it was £120 per day. Even though we could afford it, it's still expensive!

I do agree their are lots of things that contribute to gender inequality, inflexible working practices, lack of opportunities for women who have taken career breaks, women often being left to take on the majority of mental load and housework etc but disagree that childcare costs is as a big an issue as is made out to be as very few women are actually financially worse off working

I disagree with this. Many women ARE financially worse off working, especially if they are on minimum wage. Also, what about if kids are ill? It's more than often the mother who takes paid or unpaid leave.

The reason people are upset about the high cost of childcare is that it's usually women, not men, who end up jacking in their job and also because many other countries understand why its important to significantly subside childcare.

We're currently having a cost of living crisis in the UK with food and utility bills spiralling while wages remain stagnant.

Unless you're part of a couple and you both work in decent jobs full time, having kids will soon mean either don't have them or you do it on one wage.

When I had my DC, childcare costs were 100% of my income and some of my partner’s as well. That’s pretty shit tbh. Guess what happened?

@TheDaydreamBelievers

To use your own example - if childcare is 65% plus of your salary then if you were a single parent or your partner made little money or living costs were higher, it'd be better for you not to work.

If I was a single parent I’d be getting 80% of my childcare costs paid for me. What is the problem with one parent choosing to stay at home if that’s what suits them best. We’d still be as well off as the single parent getting their childcare costs paid

I disagree that childcare costs is as a big an issue as is made out to be as very few women are actually financially worse off working

What a privileged world you must live in. Of course the women who work and pay for childcare aren’t financially worse off (although I bet their are loads and loads who are just about scraping by) - it’s a self selecting group of those who could afford it in the first place.

Because by the time I payed for childcare and travel, I lost money by going back to work. That was 1 kid.

We’d still be as well off as the single parent getting their childcare costs paid

not sure well off is the right phrase to use here.

Look, in a nutshell, UK childcare costs are an absolute scandal that are disenfranchising many women. The UK has the third highest childcare costs in the world (New Statesman). 49% of lone parent families are living in poverty (CPAG 2020 figures). Something is going very wrong here.

@IcedCoffeeMilkshake

You assume everyone is a couple of hundred pounds better off and that they can afford to take that hit though OP.

My childcare costs came to £200 a month more than I earned in take home pay. It was nuts.

Was it nuts though for the work that had to go into providing the care for your children. Was that not worth what you were paying?

I think our perspective is that unless we’re in very difficult circumstances then it’s our job to care for our children so if someone’s happy to take on that role for less than one of us earn then we’re quite lucky! Nice that nowadays get a bit of tax relief on the childcare too.

There was a time when our childcare costs would of outstripped my salary but then my partner could of reduced his hours to facilitate us both working part time. There is usually a way to make it work if your lucky enough to be in a couple. That’s not what I say some families don’t need help, I’m more than happy to pay taxes to support those families who actually need it.

2 children at nursery. Single mother. Costs £2000 a month. I can afford it. But it's a staggering amount off my wage. I don't complain about it but I fully appreciate why someone would if they earn say £2500 a month! I'm a high earner and good thing too otherwise I would have had to leave my iob and claim UC.

A few people I know have left good and important jobs (eg nhs) because they cannot afford to pay for childcare and work. So they end up not working which isn't great for them or for society in general as they are able and willing.

It's all relative. Why do some people moan about the cost of something? Because TO THEM it's expensive.

The UK has the second highest childcare costs in the world.