6 week maternity leave, DC3 - realistic?

[TwoYearsMarried]

DC no 3 due 15 June. Planned. I am the main breadwinner (by far). Six weeks ago I landed a huge new client which could really 'make' the rest of my career. I am 35 so this is a big success story so early on.

This will be our DC no 3 and I only went back to work in August 2021 after DC 2, so the gap will be v short. Work will not be expecting DC3 at all when I eventually break the news... 😬

This time around I really don't feel as though I need a long break like the others, especially having only recently gone back. I don't want to hand over this new client to someone else in our company for any longer than 6-8 weeks because it is such a fundamental time in developing the relationship. At the moment the client wants, and has, me on tap. They will be bringing in close to £1m in revenue a year for the company, so it's a fairly big deal (for me, anyway).

As such I am considering taking 6-8 weeks off and going back 3-4 days a week after that. My husband works for our family business so taking paternity leave isn't really an option for him. The most obvious solution is for me to work from home until the baby is 6-7 months old with a nanny in the next room of our house. I'd then always be "with" the baby but also not, if you see what I mean... I would combination feed so that bottles are easy to mix up during the day.

Work will support whatever I choose to do and will pretty much bend over backwards for me.

Am I being wholly unrealistic? Has anyone else with an intense job done likewise and how did you find it?

Other consideration for you wise MNs is the financial side. Going back after just 6-8 weeks will of course benefit my company, but likewise, probably to the same extent, benefits me personally if I ever left and wanted to take this client with me. By going back so soon, I'm essentially foregoing the 4 months full pay followed by 2 months half pay our firm offer whilst on mat leave. There is no incentive for going back early and sacrificing this enhanced maternity package. I would also need to incur 4x our usual childcare costs by employing a nanny until the baby was old enough to attend nursery (i.e from 6-8 weeks old until it is 6months). That amounts to c£2k a month, so financially it puts me at a big disadvantage. If I didn't give a toss about my career then I'd put my feet up for six months and go back then, but I fear I'd lose this client in the meantime. Am I overstepping the mark to either ask work to compensate for the nanny so that I come back early, or to give me the equivalent in a cash payment of the enhanced maternity pay I would otherwise have received? I fear they will simply say that they can get someone else to cover the client whilst I am off and for me to go away and have a proper break, but I know (and from past experience with my earlier two DC) that someone else being allocated to this client will either (a) put no leg work in, so we'll essentially lose them or (b) get so entrenched with them that by the time I come back it will no longer be my client and all is lost. Stakes are too high for that at this stage.

Any advice please? I am losing sleep over this. I absolutely live for my kids and family but likewise am ambitious and driven. I am so torn!

Bumping up

You've done it twice before, so you'll know. Could you have performed at full potential at 6 weeks PP?

My oldest is 15, so we went back to work after 6 months and I found that hard. I didn't go back after DC3 - too many children, but if you found a really good nanny?

Good nannies are quite hard to find

In five years time what will your biggest regret be? Not taking the full maternity leave or losing the deal?

Good luck x

Why would you lose the client if you took six months?

Would the nanny be looking after all your children not just the baby?

I would be surprised if the company offered to pay for a nanny.

Look up Jacinda Arden. She did exactly this. Although not the working from home part. I believe the beehive has an on-site crèche and her partner took parental leave.

I think it all hinges on whether you can find a good nanny. Could you start putting feelers out now and see if it is realistic to find somebody?

Personally I probably could have gone back to work after 6 weeks if I had childcare I could trust (wouldn't have chosen to do so but my work situation was completely different and not comparable).

It does all feel very risky though e.g. what if you/baby has health problems which mean much longer recovery this time, what if you put all this effort in and you lose the client anyway for other reasons etc. But it might be a risk worth taking, only you really know that.

Does keeping the client reap any financial gain?

I assume the OP is worried that someone else in the company would build up the personal relationship with the client and they wouldn’t want to transfer back to her after the maternity leave. Also looks as if the OP is thinking that she might leave that company at some point and taking that client (or I assume the client would technically have to follow her as would be covenant to say she can’t take clients with her)

Going back that early is entirely possible, but you need to know what your limits are. Eg, I can't cope with sleep deprivation at all. So I would only have considered going back if I had a night nanny. I also wouldn't have breastfed because pumping is a major PITA, even when you're at home all day.
I would definitely go for it, I have 3 DC and while it is a lot of work, it's also true that babies are much easier than toddlers. So apart from the sleep part, I think it's actually easier to work when they're very little.
If you decide to get a nanny, start looking now!

NZ doesn't generally support maternal leave like the UK does AFAIK, 12 weeks? So maybe not the best example.
It sounds like you have a plan OP, and it will be worth it, which surprises me to be say this. I'm out the other side of child bareing now and can see the cost to my business of have children, and I'm not even remotely a high earner.

I went back after 6 weeks with my first and 12 with my second. I loved my job, had recently had promotions etc. I didn’t gain anything from the company the first time round except being sidelined, I had to sit my immediate boss down and threaten acas. Second time round I was given a promotion just as I went on mat leave and promised by my director I would be looked after properly this time. All well until they retired and new management came in who couldn’t care less about mu loyalty. My advice, do it for you only. Don’t be under any illusion the company will thank you or think more of you long term. That being said I absolutely would discuss an enhancement with them for returning for their benefit too.

A better solution is your husband though, surely for the first 6 months.
He can legally take the paternity leave regardless of the family business element.

Congratulations and good luck!

I can't imagine a company paying for your nanny or the equivalent mat leave once you are back but if they think you are invaluable you could try to negotiate a pay rise and you could use these costs as a reason for asking now.

I don’t think you can ask the company to pay you your mat pay as a lump sum regardless of what you decide - you will be receiving your salary on returning, why would they choose to be out of pocket

It sounds workable, albeit absolute hell (to me).

6 weeks off does not necessarily mean the baby will be 6 weeks old unless you are working until your waters break...?

I've recently had my 3rd and it has been absolutely wonderful, however I felt horrendous for the first 4-6 weeks (my 3rd c section). My DD is a good sleeper but I am still tired. Really tired. Will the nanny do the school and nursery run? The hardest part of having a 3rd for me has been trying to run around with the other 2. Eg eldest going to swimming lessons, I need to take 2 other children, get him changed, sit at the side with a toddler and baby etc. Repeat for beavers, ballet etc. Every school run involves the baby getting chucked in a sling or pram whether she is awake, asleep, whatever. Will the nanny run the rest of family life while you're working?

We will be getting a nanny when I go back to work to do all of that stuff and do the school run etc. I'm going back part time after 12 months and even that feels daunting (and expensive!).

I fully understand the desire to return to work and deal with the client. Is it a long-term thing or will there be a chance to take time off maybe the following year or something?

I've done 12 weeks with DC1 and it was fine, I wanted to go back and performed as well as previously (maybe a little better as I was used to squeezing every minute of time).

I'm currently at 6 weeks of mat leave with DC2 and would be happy and able to go back to work now if due to.

I think in a lot of ways it's easier to go back sooner because you're more familiar with everything happening at work still.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I don’t think you can ask the company to pay you your mat pay as a lump sum regardless of what you decide - you will be receiving your salary on returning, why would they choose to be out of pocket

Some firms do this as an incentive to go back, they pay back the equivalent in the enhanced mat pay as a lump sum. If I'm at home for 4 months with my feet up on full pay I'd be earning the same if I were working for them. The no brainer is to take the benefit and stay at home but I'm concerned about longer term career implications.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Does keeping the client reap any financial gain?

If I move, and they follow me (which if they stay with me, I know they will), or even if I stay at the same firm with them, I'll be fast tracked into promotion. Meaning financially I'll be looking at earning closer to 250k pa as opposed to 150k now. They are the golden ticket into the next level- usually have to wait 5 years to get to the next level, I'd be looking at 2.5-3 years, and even sooner if I left and walked straight in at that level elsewhere (assuming again they follow me)

I went back to an intense job at 16 weeks after having DD3 and all was fine. DH had her the days I worked (3 days a week) and I mixed fed with no problems. Before going back fully I did quite a few KIT days, so it felt like I didn't really leave my key clients. Like you I am the main breadwinner and I enjoy my job and knew how I would recover from my 2 previous births/night wakings. I would ask for mat costs to pay your additional childcare costs, can't really hurt to try! In the very least company might pay you what the would have spent recruiting a mat leave cover

You have a strange way of talking about maternity leave. Did you not do much with your previous babies when on maternity leave (although I assume one was a lockdown baby). Not sure I would be too impressed if someone had said I was just sitting at home with my feet up when I was on maternity leave

My mum took six weeks with me. If you can have a FT nanny for the two kids under 1 I would do it. I don’t think nursery offers much to little babies and it’ll save you money. I would also pay for some night support so that you sleep (maybe 2 nights a week?). Also use some leave (?AL) to work 4 days a week for another 2 months.

I’m not in your line of work but if you have a bonus structure I would seriously ask for this to reflect your choice to give up mat pay.

I’m self employed; baby is nearly 2 weeks old and I’ll probably start doing bits and pieces again next week, I think. It’ll be quite flexible & from home; but I think I’ll start.

I know people who didn’t take much of a break at all; and people who couldn’t have functioned adding work in to the mix too… it really depends on your personality, how well you cope, and your baby, I think.

Meaning financially I'll be looking at earning closer to 250k pa as opposed to 150k now. They are the golden ticket into the next level- usually have to wait 5 years to get to the next level

On one hand it’s a no brained imo. This sentence alone shows it’s career making. Men do this all the fucking time and have babies so I wholeheartedly think that women should grab the same bill by both horns.

But.. will you be physically able? Without knowing how labour will be or how the new baby will be it’s difficult to say whether you’ll feel up to it.

I set some KIT days up for 6 weeks PP this time because I hated my last loooong boring maternity leave but when the time came I was still recovering from emcs and the baby has some unknown uncomfort so I cancelled them.

Could you look at SPL? You don’t actually need to split any leave at all with your partner to do it. You would need to check though that your employer would pay your enhanced maternity pay rate for SPL though. If they did give you the same enhanced pay with SPL then you can take an initial chunk of mat leave of 6 weeks, return to work for a period of time, then take your first block of SPL down the line- perhaps once you’ve established your relationship with client. You can take SPL across 3 chunks plus an additional chunk of mat leave. You are entitled to a total of 52 weeks of SPL I believe and it must end on your child’s first birthday. Check ACAS website for full details.

At those salary levels, yes I'd do it.

But at 6 weeks, your baby likely will not sleep through the night. So budget for a night nanny a few nights a week, and then split the other nights with your husband.

Can you go back to work, but use annual leave to only work 4 days a week? Maybe take a week holidays a few weeks in.

Once you've worked with the client and built up a relationship, could you take parental leave later in the year (say when the baby is 8 or 9 months)? That's only if you want to, and don't want to feel you've "missed out" on time at home with the baby.

I work from home and have a nanny minding my toddler twins. I give them lunch every day, and it's great being able to pop down to them when I have a break in meetings.