Terminating Childminder, Advise required!

[larryson]

Hi all,

We need some advise on a current situation about terminating our contract with our childminder.

We switched childminder provider to one that is more conveniently located to our home. We went by her place a while back and signed the documents 2 months back.

Fast forward till today, it has been the first two weeks, spending 4 days a week. However, my daughter, which is 17 months old, has a real trouble adjusting. She has been ill since starting with this childminder, and one occasion she came home with no voice from all the crying. On the same day, the childminder messaged to us to pick up earlier than the agreed time.

None of this happened with the prior childminder. We also had a student covering during the prior childminder's holiday and everything went smoothly.

We are very concern over the well being continuing with the same childminder, as she has been screaming at night and her personality has changed drastically.

The issue we have is around the contract and notice period. The childminder would like us to still pay for the 4 week and if we choose not to bring her there there is a 20% discount. We can't afford to pay her 80% of her fee and pay the former childminder.

What rights do we have here given that it is evident that this relationship is not working out? There is no break clause. And we are concern of the long term damage this could have if she should continue with this childminder. In addition, she is only taking care of two children, my daughter and someone else, so this isn't an issue of attention.

Well you can't do anything. If you signed a contract saying those were the T&C's then you need to pay her the 80% as that's what you'd agreed.

I agree I wouldn't send my child if they were that distressed and couldn't settle and it wasn't working.

It's a shame it hasn't worked out. I don't know what the reasons are, and likely neither will you for sure, but you can't go back on a written agreement just because it's not convenient for you.

If your struggling financially then you could ask her to allow a payment plan but she doesn't have to agree and you'll have to make that work.

I suggest you speak with her and see if some sort of mutually agreeable plan can be sorted out. Although I'd be prepared for her to enforce her contract as it's likely something she considered in advance, this won't be the first or the last time this happens.

You need to pay whatever is in the contract and in fairness I've never seen a 20% discount for non attendance before so that seems quite generous. A lot of places will have a clause for non settling but in my experience a couple of weeks is really not long enough to settle a child anyway so they're not really worth it.

OP one of the things you need to consider is that if you are in a nearby area childminders know each other or if each other, and so can tell each other about clients who breach contracts and don't pay.

This means if you need to use a different childminder in future you may find it very difficult to find one.

You signed a contract you can’t duck paying just because you don’t like her anymore.

We are a bit concern of abuse actually.

Of the 8 days, 1 of the days she had to be in the hospital after spending a day with her. And another because we were concern as she lost her voice from all the crying.

Can you speak to the other parent and see if she shares your concerns?

I presume if you are concerned about abuse you have put in a formal complaint to Ofsted so she can be investigated.

@Looneytune253

You need to pay whatever is in the contract and in fairness I've never seen a 20% discount for non attendance before so that seems quite generous. A lot of places will have a clause for non settling but in my experience a couple of weeks is really not long enough to settle a child anyway so they're not really worth it.

In this case, the childminder failed the probation period. Should we not reserve the right for immediate termination?

Additionally, the contract has a clause "Our notice period is 4 weeks but we reserve the right to terminate if we feel that continuing the contact will compromise our wellbeing or the health and safety of the child".

Given this is a bilateral contract, should this not apply both ways? How can a childminder let a baby cry until they lose the voice? We are genuinely concern over the well being of our child.

We had really inexperience students come babysit during the holidays, and the consensus was my child is an easygoing kid.

You sent her back to the childminder even though she possibly put your child in hospital? It sounds like you’re making up accusations to avoid paying her.

@larryson

We are a bit concern of abuse actually.

Of the 8 days, 1 of the days she had to be in the hospital after spending a day with her. And another because we were concern as she lost her voice from all the crying.

So did you concerns about abuse arise on the final day and you haven’t sent her back since? Or, which is what it reads like, she ended up in hospital and you still sent her back? How do you know the hoarseness is from crying vs a sore throat for some other reason?

If the baby had cried all day I can't imagine the childminder wasn't trying to settle them? If you really thought the cm hadn't been trying to settle the child at all then why take the child back. I'm guessing that's not the case tho and it's not the cm fault if the baby has cried all day. Sometimes there's no soothing an unsettled baby. It does take time.

And why did the baby spend a day in the hospital. Was this linked to the cms conduct? If not I don't like the way you're implying it and that the cm is somehow at fault.

Speak to the childminder.

We left one early my mutual agreement (she decided she didn't like my eldest child). We didn't need to pay the notice period.

Well if you're concerned about abuse then the obvious answer is don't send her back. Think you'll just have to cut your losses with the payment.

With regards to crying all day, my granddaughter who is 18 months, cried all day when I first started childminding her.

Children of this age had very little contact with anyone other than their parents for their first 8/9 months. Then Boris Johnson gave the go ahead for 'bubbles' to be formed in December 2020 for children under one year old.

I'd seen my DGD about a dozen times before my daughter returned to work in January.

My DGD didn't cry the first few days, so I thought she'd accepted me.

She started crying when mum left at the beginning of the second week and was still crying/screaming when mum came home. I had messaged my daughter to tell her what was happening a couple of times and she decided to leave work as soon as she could.

I had tried everything to placate my DGD (her favourite comforter, rocking her, going to the park in the pushchair) but nothing was making a difference. She wasn't drinking or eating. I was so worried for her.

Her voice was also very hoarse from screaming. My ears were ringing when mum got home and the screaming finally stopped.

I would hate to think that my daughter thought DGD had been abused/damaged well-being.

She screamed the following day. The next day she screamed less. At the beginning of the third week she cried for five minutes. After that - she happily waved to mummy as she left
for work - no tears.

I don't think that your childminder would have been able to give 'undivided' attention to your child as she had another child to look after. This would have been very unsettling/distressing for the other child. I would imagine the childminder would also have found it very stressful.

With regards to illness - my daughter and I accept that, because we come into contact with different groups of people, we will be 'sharing' viruses from more/various sources.

Now that my DGD is attending some activity groups she is getting ill more frequently, as all children do as they build their immune systems.

I'm not sure your childminder has done anything wrong. You should pay her the 80% and hopefully you'll be able to find other child care.

How has your childminder abused your child and damaged her well-being?

What was the hospital issue? Caused by the childminder?

Else terminate and give notice and try to negotiate a discount.

@Looneytune253

If the baby had cried all day I can't imagine the childminder wasn't trying to settle them? If you really thought the cm hadn't been trying to settle the child at all then why take the child back. I'm guessing that's not the case tho and it's not the cm fault if the baby has cried all day. Sometimes there's no soothing an unsettled baby. It does take time.

That was the last day, and the childminder suggested not to bring the next day. We have since asked for immediate termination but childminder wants compensation.

Reading the contract, it seems to favour the childminder and not the parent. This is unlikely to hold up in court.

Do a poor job in first two weeks and ask for 1 month compensation - sound unreasonable to me.

I've had children take a long time to settle with me and it's heartbreaking as i know I'm good at my job.

You signed the contract. You're only now saying it favours the childminder because your child isn't settling. You should have read it first.

I don't believe you that there is abuse as you seem to only mention that when everyone wasn't saying what you wanted. If you truly hand on heart believe there has been abuse, then you need to report her. But if it is just that your child hasn't settled, please don't potentially ruin her career over you not wanting to pay!

Some children just take a while to settle. Find a different setting.

How has she done a poor job? Sometimes children cry in childcare, of course it isn’t nice but it doesn’t necessarily mean she has done something wrong unless you have evidence to the contrary?

What abuse do you suspect? If I genuinely thought children were being abused that would be my main concern (although I wouldn’t post about it , I would have simply reported my concerns) not trying to wriggle out of a contract yet you didn’t even mention this abuse in your first post…

@Thesearmsofmine

I presume if you are concerned about abuse you have put in a formal complaint to Ofsted so she can be investigated.

OP it is odd how you have ignored this post.

If you went to Court making claims the CM was abusive the judge would want to see proper evidence of your claims.

In addition as NanaPorsche pointed out any judge would be aware of or could easily look up how Covid had affected children.

Btw I have a CM contact that states I have to give 4 weeks notice and had to pay the CM without a break period at the beginning. However unlike many posters on here I pay my CM in arrears. I now understand with posts like yours why many childcare providers demand payment in advance.

Is it possible that your DD was crying because she as poorly? That she lost her voice because she was under the weather and crying for her parents?

This is absolutely not a criticism of your choice to use a childminder. I did the same for my DD. But I'm just trying to suggest there might be other explanations to than abuse.

Why was she in the hospital? You need to answer these questions.
Taking her to hospital because her voice was gone from crying is OTT, Also doesn't mean the cm did anything wrong. Your daughter was taken from a familiar environment and placed in a brand new one - it's perfectly normal and visable that she will take time to adjust, and may have screamed a lot that day. The cm isn't a wizard. Just because she couldn't settle her straight away, doesn't mean she's abusing her.
Are you trying to look for reasons not to pay? You've signed a contract, there's no way round it. You need to pay up 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think you need to pay her the notice period as you have agreed and signed. Its unfortunate your child hasn't settled but unless you can prove child minder is negligent you need to pay as per the agreement.

The contract you signed would be a standardised one from an organisation such as the local authority / OFSTED etc. Consequently It would have been through legal opinion and been in place for several years, so I'm not sure that it would fail in court.

I agree with pp - you need to pay the childminder- she's already letting you off with a 20% discount. And previous poster was right - word will get around locally you don't pay and then you'll difficulty in finding a new child minder.

Why did she put her in the hospital?