Nanny is never home

[Strawberryjam45]

We have a nanny for our 17 month old DS. Nanny is great with DS, very loving , tidy, pro-active and generally nice to have around. The only thing is she's not around much. Her and DS shoot out the house after an hour of her arriving and then are back for lunch and nap time. They will then shoot out again and are back for bath and dinner. I'm WFH but stay in the upstairs office and out of their ways. Nanny tells me at the end of the day where they have been and it's usually the park or classes but sometimes it does seem they're just wondering aimlessly around the shops. It's not that they go out a lot that I have an issue with more that it seems to be the aim of their day, to find something to do just to get out every day. It seems a lot to me when they're out for 4-6 hours of the day which is quite usual.

Nanny also sometimes books classes near her home (20min drive). I have spoken to her about this before and understand that she's a single mum with a teen and that occasionally she'll want her teen to join her and DS. Happy for her to do this once every 2 weeks but it seems to me that it's more 1-2 a week. Advice please. I know some of you'll say she's keen to get out because I'm there but I'm really quite invisible. If I had to guess why she's out so often with DS it's because I think she finds being "just" at home with him boring.

[roarfeckingroarr]

I went back to work two weeks ago beforehand (and on my days off) I'm out with my 11 month DS for pretty much all of the day. We walk, go to classes, go to the park, go for lunch, meet my friends... so much better than being at home.

[TatianaBis]

It does sound a bit much to be out of the house 4-6 hours a day every day.

I’d want a 17 month old to have more down time at home.

[roarfeckingroarr]

*but beforehand, and now...

[Tal45]

If you're DS is happy then that would be the main thing I'd concentrate on. Almost anything is educational for a child that age and getting out and about everyday is great.

[Tal45]

*your

[TheSpiral]

My aim with my oldest at that age was to be out of the house as much as possible. He was much happier being out and about. We went to the park, the museum, the farm, the library, singing, soft play, gardening, art clubs, you name it. He needed a lot of stimulation.
DS2 preferred being at home, so we spent more time at home.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with spending that much time out of the house and I definitely don’t think it means a child is not being stimulated, if anything it is the reverse.

[abricotine]

Only in Britain is it acceptable for people to spend hours wandering round the shops every day and it's seen as a reasonable and sensible activity!
Sure it's fine a couple of times a week, and some classes etc but definitely at that age she should be spending some time with your toddler doing some kind of indoor play with toys. It's about balance and doesn't sound like your nanny is providing that. I've had experiences of that; one temp I had to cover a holiday texted me once by accident as I stood at the train station "Mum's gone now and we are out so I can chat". In my experience a decent nanny will play with your toddler sometimes. You do not need a governess or tutor for this! So I think you need to raise it with her and ask for her to spend more time doing this. The best nannies will combine some time in with some time out having fun. And not a lot of that will be hanging out round the shops.

[CleopatrasBeautifulNose]

If he was getting stacks of chances to use his body with her routine I would be happy, if he is stuck in the pushchair for ages every day I'd be very dischuffed and having a conversation.
When mine were this age we would always get out of the house once a day, often just for a walk in the woods as being at home all day and not getting any fresh air (literally and metaphorically) meant restlessness and poor behaviour. But the extent she is out is only justifiable if it's quality use of his time (experiences/exercise)

[CleopatrasBeautifulNose]

When does he get chance to play with blocks, crayons etc etc

[Dixiechickonhols]

It’s why people opt for childminder not nursery. Everything is a learning experience. So post office, shopping, getting bus etc can involve him and be fun. I’m imagining as a nanny she gets him involved not just sat in buggy with dummy in.
If you’d prefer more child centric activities then you could say (and pay) eg swimming or toddler group.
If he’s at home she may be conscious re noise.
At end of day you are employing her and need to be happy.
She sounds like she has a good routine. Hour play, outing, lunch and nap and another outing.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

With a toddler out the house is best- by far! I’m with the nanny on this one and I would be grateful your child is out and about learning from the world around him rather than just surrounded by CBeebies and a load of plastic

[loveisagirlnameddaisy]

What is in the nanny's job description?

[Lunificent]

It sounds to me as if she is trying to use her work days as her own free time.

[StoatMilk]

@Caramellatteplease

With a nanny I would be expecting all activities to be child centric. I wouldn't expect shopping was on that list unless she had specific resources turning it into an active learning experience or you had asked them to.

Shopping as an ’active learning experience’

Oh do behave

[Findmeatthebeach]

I was a nanny to a couple who worked from home. Even after being with them for years I'd still feel far more comfortable out of the house. I'd make plans most days to be out at the park, baby classes, swimming pool, beach etc. Is the issue that you don't want you child out the house all day or that you don't think your child is the nanny's main priority when they are out the house?

[NannyR]

I'm a nanny and I can see the OPs point of view. Getting out and about for part of the day is really great for toddlers and going to the shops can be as interesting as going to a class or the park, but I think that they also need to have time at home, where they can have quality one-to-one play time and time to play independently, have stories and singing time, time to do sensory play and arty stuff. I know that parents are saying that it's boring being at home all day, but a nanny is a well paid, child care professional who should have no problem thinking up activities to keep toddlers learning and occupied - it's their job.

[NewlyGranny]

Out and about sounds great, but how much time is a healthy toddler spending strapped into a buggy being pushed around and how much time on his legs charging about doing activities or just experiencing nature in the park? That's what would worry me if I didn't know.

[RedMarauder]

@Jng1

I kind of see where you're coming from with this - sounds like she's more of a child-minder than a nanny? It's perhaps not such an issue at this age, but I'd also be expecting her to do more child-centric things like reading, arts & crafts etc.
What are the classes she takes your child to?

You mean baby sitter.

Childminders have to be OFSTED registered and follow the EYFS.

Nannies can be but don't have to be.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Good lord, I can't see the problem here, really!
Would you not be more irritated if she kept him at home all the time? She's out keeping him entertained and keeping your home quiet so you can WFH successfully!

[TatianaBis]

@NannyR

I'm a nanny and I can see the OPs point of view. Getting out and about for part of the day is really great for toddlers and going to the shops can be as interesting as going to a class or the park, but I think that they also need to have time at home, where they can have quality one-to-one play time and time to play independently, have stories and singing time, time to do sensory play and arty stuff. I know that parents are saying that it's boring being at home all day, but a nanny is a well paid, child care professional who should have no problem thinking up activities to keep toddlers learning and occupied - it's their job.

Exactly. This is how it should be done.

[Iguessyourestuckwithme]

As a nanny I used to do the same we were usually ready and out the door at 9am 20 minute stroll into town, grab a coffee/playpark then a group at 10. Would often have lunch with nanny pals as we would bring lunches then home for a nap. Then wale a snack then local country walk with friends til tea. However I worked 630am til 6 and would have my duties done by 9 and over lunch nap.

In another position dad worked from home in the lounge you had to walk through the lounge to get to the kitchen. I would arrive at I pack the children up and leave for the day until 4.30 we would do groups/playmates Park, eat lunch out the younger one aged 2 would have a short nap in the pushchair then we would return about 4 so I could cook dinner and the children could play at home but we were out the house as it didn't work having a parent working from home. In that I stance.

In the first job(above) both parents would work from home and stay out the way so we would have playmates over or just play at home in the paddling pool etc itsbjust swings and roundabouts.

I had a big work group of nannies and we were just always busy.

[Crinkle77]

@5zeds

Going out to a class for dc is fine, or the zoo or the park, or to the shops to buy shoes/biscuit/post a card to granny, anything else is just dead time in a pushchair and young toddlers need LOTS of free play in a safe environment (like their garden/bedroom/sitting room). I certainly wouldn’t want my child out if the house morning and afternoon five days a week.

Good god don't be ridiculous. If OP was a sahm then the child would have to go with her while she ran errands etc... The child is being well cared for and entertained (most of the time).and sitting in a pushchair for a bit isn't going to do any harm.

[allofthecheese]

My DS would love this. He loves being out and I don't get him out enough. I wouldn't have a problem with this at all. Especially as she's a great nanny otherwise. I'd love a nanny like this. If it bothers you, though I'm unsure why it would, mention it.

[RedMarauder]

@abricotine before the first lockdown my DD was learning to walk. We discovered that the upper floor of a local shopping centre, which has a large department store, was a safe area for her to toddle around wearing shoes as very few people used it.

OP find out how much walking/movement your toddler actually does on her trips.

[clara443]

As a SAHM, I did similar to your nanny, trips to the post office, are great fun, especially if your not rushed and can acquire some stickers, forms etc. We did a lot of pointless bus/train rides too, great fun for small children.
Life is more informative than being at home.

We did spend a lot of hours in the park, everyday.