So the new ap arrived last night .....

[cloudberry]

She missed the flight she was supposed to come on which would have arrived in the morning. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry! She speaks almost NO English! It's been rather tiring today. Armed with the smallest dictionary you have ever seen we have stumbled through the day. I have no idea if she understands anything. What on earth do you do when someone looks blankly at you when you ask 'Would you like ....?' or 'Do you want ....'? She has eaten 1 biscuit today unless she has a secret stash of food upstairs which she has wolfed down in 45 minutes this afternoon, the only time she has not been with me. She now tells me she is veggie when on her profile form the box was ticked next to 'No special dietary requirements ie vegetarian'!! I can't even tell her she will have to cook for herself as my dh likes to eat meat every night as she can't begin to understand. I have always cooked for our aps in the evening and don't mind doing it as one extra person makes no difference but I'm not going to produce 2 separate meals. However .... she has smiled all day, has smothered my 2 dcs in kisses all day. She has painted my dd's finger nails bright red and sprayed her in perfume, as well as bringing her a very sweet shirt and skirt as presents. My not quite 3 year old dd is in seventh heaven and has been mincing around all day. She has never looked so girly in her life! My dh has told the ap that make-up on the face is a no-no!! I shudder to think how the ap can top today in dd's eyes!

Since starting this, I have been talking to a friend of the ap's on MSN who has very good English and feel better that we have a translator! She told me that she felt bad that they had been misleading me about the ap's level of English as she (the friend) knew that the ap could speak NO ENglish at all. I need to have a little chat to the agency tomorrow. Despite all that, as long as she has a good attitude the language issue isn't a problem as it can only improve and she does seem very willing. She has been eager to help today and painted with the dcs this morning which I hate doing. I am glad that we've got another 4 months till no.3 arrives, things might look quite different if it was due next month!! She's quite differnent to the last wet ap. We've gone from anoraky geek to rather sophisticated warm Turkish girl. The other thing that makes me laugh is that all my worries about notes etc etc are completely irrelevant as she wouldn't be able to read them anyway so I'm going to having to show her exactly what I need help with instead of writing down her duties, and maybe that's not such a bad way to go. At least I'll know I've shown her myself how I like things done. So there you go for anyone who's interested(!) - End of part one of Cloudberry's new fascinating ap saga ....!!

I would imagine the EU-subsidised (used to be free, but no more in my borough) ESOL for EU residents is affordable for aupairs, although I would chip in if she proved herself and was finding it difficult to pay. I believe it comes to about £400 a year.

Private classes are way out of an aupair's league (about £100 a week). One aupair looked very good on paper and I wondered why she was not already snapped up when I called her a few months later. Turns out she wanted help with paying for her PRIVATE language lessons. No way, and I am sure many families felt the same way.

We said we'd help the Turkish ap with her language classes. They would have been between £40 and £50 per week. However the fab school that all the EU girls go to near us were prepared to be very helpful with regards to having her - they usually only take EU students - so I don't know if it's worth having a chat with any of the schools and see if they can be flexible. I'm glad that your ap looks promising Laura. Granary how's yours? Our 2/3 monther Italian ap arrives on Thursday. Maybe I'll start another thread - Cloudberry's novel, chapter 2!!

Cloudberry - poor you!! Getting a new au pair through the first 4 weeks is a nightmare. We've had aps for the past 4 years and I'm always thoroughly anxious that they will just up and leave us in the lurch.
All our au pairs have come through the same agency as it is the only one that is any good; other agencies I've tried have resulted in disasters. All of our au pairs have stayed a year or longer. I can mail u the link if you like.I've recommended her to my friends before and they seem satisfied. No I'm not on commission but having wasted thousands of pounds in lost agency fees for aps who stay 2 minutes I hate to see anyone else placed in the same position.

Here's a little yarn to cheer u up: this is what happened to us with our 3rd ap:
She arrived - nice girl from romania aged 19. Spoken pigeon english which is better than none at all - but then she needed to speak some english to explain on day 3 that she might have forgotten to mention that she was 5 1/2months pregnant and would we mind terribly paying for a termination for her ? She hadn't been to the doctors so I arranged a medical check pronto. She insisted to the Dr. that she wanted a termination and it was arranged for her at public expense. Initially it was thought that she would have to pay privately at the princely sum of £1500. She demanded that we pay. She piled on the emotional blackmail and for a week it was awful in the house. She wouldn't talk to us and every time she did she said things like, I can't believe you won't help me; we have a contract that you look after me (what!); you're ruining my life etc. I'd known her 2 weeks! You can imagine our reply - the second word was "off". At the time we had a 6 week old baby who was very difficult. it was a traumatic birth and she was in a lot of pain. She screamed constantly so we got an ap in early to help out as I was at the end of my tether. The ap stated that she didn't want her own child as she couldn't cope with babies!!! She allowed the toddler to fall down the stairs by leaving the gate open; forgot to put nappies on the baby and was usually overheard cuddling the baby saying "Oh shut up!" - more fool her to speak to baby in english.

The next girl we had was from turkey and worked in a pre-school. brilliant I thought. Likes kids at least. She arrived and my hubby went to collect her from heathrow (about 3 hours from our house) to be met by her...... and her family. her famly informed him that she was entitled to a week's holiday and she would arrive at our house in the south west the following week. They were english relatives who lived in Kent they had our phone number from the agency but didn't think to call. A week later she arrived crying on our doorstep again with 5 members of her family in tow. her family inspected our house and determined it was suitable for her to remain in. They asked us if we drank alcohol - which we do - and insisted that we could not drink alcohol in her presence (in our own home). the ap meanwhile saw one of our cats, screamed and ran out the house refusing to come back in. She was then sick and sat in her family's car sobbing. The family meanwhile continued to interrogate us to find out whether we were worthy enough until we asked them to leave with the ap.

you can see now why we only use the one agency.

I've tried talking to aps on the phone before they come - the turkish girl was lovely and tried really hard. I find the conversation is usually pointless because their english is so poor it is meaningless. I alwasy write really detailed letters setting out what I expect. We've got skpye for our au pairs and that helps loads in the early days. We've also got webcams but usually it is the foreign end that makes that impractical as they don't have ready access to computers.

I always think that its meant to be and that when u do finally get sorted out it will be the best option. keep you're chin up.

OH MY GOD Frutus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had heard of a pregnancy incident before but wasn't sure whether to believe it! That must be one of the reasons agencies insist on medicals...
So come on...please name your agency!
by the way cloud am looking forward to reading your next instalment..fingers crossed

frutus, can't believe your experiences. You really have had a fair share of nutters.

I am also interested in your agency. Are you able to cat me the details?

She's great so far thanks Cloudberry. Daren't speak to soon, but seems really nice. Did her first day on her own today, came home, children happy, house v tidy, puppy walked and my ironing done! I know is early days so I'm not getting complacent, especially with so many stories of them upping and leaving! But so far so good. Just need to try and sort out the english classes.

Frutus - I don't think she would have been able to get a termination if she was that far pregnant, whether by NHS or privately. Sounds like she was trying to con you out of the money!

goodness, I must add that question to my interview list.

never thought of asking them if they are pregnant! Our au pair health insurance specifically excludes pregnancy.
Can't believe the cheek of trying to make a stranger pay for a termination.

frutus, your Turkish AP sounds as though she just wanted to use your family to get a visa to the UK, and never had any intention of working with you.

I am always a bit worried about this happening, but in Germany the visa is only valid as long as the AP stays with the designated guest family, or officially changes to another onem, so they can't do this trick so easily.

Do you have to have health insurance for an ap? Or is that just if they're from outside the EU? Ours is from France - she's got an E111 equivalent. Is that enough?

Frutus, how AWFUL!. My goodness, our story pales in comparison. It's hard to believe that people can be so extraordinary really. I take heart having read your post and remain optimistic having had almost a week to recover and await the arrival of our Italian with baited breath. Her English is infinitely better and she has been most obliging in making her travel arrangements which I find encouraging. I would be interested to know about your agency if you could CAT me. I will let you all know how we fare. She arrives tomorrow evening ......

Best wishes for tomorrow cloudberry

All still going well here. And our ap asked how long we needed an ap for long-term, and other similar questions, so I can see she'd be happy to come back after Christmas We originally agreed a one month trial.

Does anybody with an ap actively seek extra work for them?

laura - I am in Germany, where everyone has to manage their own health insurance, and our family one doesn't cover APs. I get a tailormade package for APs, it costs 39 euros per month and lets them visit the doctor for free and other important stuff like that.

Re the extra work, if I have an AP who I know is sending money home, I will let it be known that she is ready to do extra babysitting. But mostly they aren't really interested.

Frutus Would it be okay if I sent you a CAT to find out the name of the agency, please? Or you could CAT me if you didn't mind.

I feel much better about taking time to go through all the au pairs carefully now as I'm not using an agency. I think I might use one once my membership has run out, though, rather than renew it.