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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

So the new ap arrived last night .....

114 replies

cloudberry · 07/11/2007 22:31

She missed the flight she was supposed to come on which would have arrived in the morning. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry! She speaks almost NO English! It's been rather tiring today. Armed with the smallest dictionary you have ever seen we have stumbled through the day. I have no idea if she understands anything. What on earth do you do when someone looks blankly at you when you ask 'Would you like ....?' or 'Do you want ....'? She has eaten 1 biscuit today unless she has a secret stash of food upstairs which she has wolfed down in 45 minutes this afternoon, the only time she has not been with me. She now tells me she is veggie when on her profile form the box was ticked next to 'No special dietary requirements ie vegetarian'!! I can't even tell her she will have to cook for herself as my dh likes to eat meat every night as she can't begin to understand. I have always cooked for our aps in the evening and don't mind doing it as one extra person makes no difference but I'm not going to produce 2 separate meals. However .... she has smiled all day, has smothered my 2 dcs in kisses all day. She has painted my dd's finger nails bright red and sprayed her in perfume, as well as bringing her a very sweet shirt and skirt as presents. My not quite 3 year old dd is in seventh heaven and has been mincing around all day. She has never looked so girly in her life! My dh has told the ap that make-up on the face is a no-no!! I shudder to think how the ap can top today in dd's eyes!

Since starting this, I have been talking to a friend of the ap's on MSN who has very good English and feel better that we have a translator! She told me that she felt bad that they had been misleading me about the ap's level of English as she (the friend) knew that the ap could speak NO ENglish at all. I need to have a little chat to the agency tomorrow. Despite all that, as long as she has a good attitude the language issue isn't a problem as it can only improve and she does seem very willing. She has been eager to help today and painted with the dcs this morning which I hate doing. I am glad that we've got another 4 months till no.3 arrives, things might look quite different if it was due next month!! She's quite differnent to the last wet ap. We've gone from anoraky geek to rather sophisticated warm Turkish girl. The other thing that makes me laugh is that all my worries about notes etc etc are completely irrelevant as she wouldn't be able to read them anyway so I'm going to having to show her exactly what I need help with instead of writing down her duties, and maybe that's not such a bad way to go. At least I'll know I've shown her myself how I like things done. So there you go for anyone who's interested(!) - End of part one of Cloudberry's new fascinating ap saga ....!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
laura032004 · 16/11/2007 22:36

I buy two types of biscuits for our house - cheap ones for DS1 & DH, who have 'milk and biscuits' together each night (they get through a packet every other day between them!), and v.expensive ones for me (I eat about 1 a day and store in an air-tight tub). Might have to point out the biscuit tin where DH's are stored, and hide mine

We only have quite basic cereals - Weetabix, Rice crispies (treat for DS1 if he's still hungry after 2 weetabix!), porridge or branflakes. I can't imagine anyone eating shedloads of any of those! Maybe I'll be eating my words (when there's no weetabix left!) next week!

cloudberry · 16/11/2007 22:51

Laura definitely hide yours! imagine finding they'd all been eaten .... We have had pretty good aps in terms of food. One drank gallons of oj so I stopped buying decent stuff, and our awful French one put a red duvet cover which runs like a bugger in to the machine with one of my rather expensive white duvet covers which the inevitable result which has never been the same again. I was a bit annoyed. If you are inclined, I have named the agency on a previous thread somewhere but won't on this one at least until we have our dosh!

OP posts:
Nightynight · 16/11/2007 22:53

oh cloudberry, it sounds like a nightmare.

I hate agencies in general, they really are just too keen to get the fee and blow the quality of service that they provide.

I always use au pair world, and I unashamedly look for someone from a poor country, or from a poor background. I just can't be doing with a spoilt rich kid who thinks people are there to make her life easier.
Our last AP was from Kenya, she was sending her salary home and the job really meant something to her. She was a near-perfect AP, sadly her visa is now run out!
I now have a European girl coming, and she has already started messing me around.
Having promised to turn up on a certain date, she emailed me yesterday that she wanted to come 4 days later, a delay which would cost me around 400 euros for various reasons. Her reason? "my mother will be a bit upset when I tell her I am leaving, and I want to stay with her a bit longer"
FFS! We talked all this through on teh phone.

If you have got a temp AP for 3 months, I would look on APWorld and get a visa for someone, that way, hopefully they would stay for a year.

1dilemma · 16/11/2007 23:16

Hi can I but in with a few qs please? Mrs S pls can I ask the nationality of your mothers help and what hrs she works? Happy if you want to skirt around the question a bit but I'm wondering whether it is possible to get someone from eg 430-730 ie to cover school pick up supper etc, also can they pick up dcs from school and bring them home? (I know aupairs aren't supposed to do sole charge baby).
Also how do you get people a visa? Ithought they had to be from eg EU etc to be allowed to work here?
Thanks

Nightynight · 17/11/2007 00:01

It depends on the AP whether they are capable of doing sole charge. Officially, they are not allowed to of course. What you describe is more an AP type job (4 hours per day), but you could get a mothers help, pay more and get her to do some cleaning as well.
There is a limited list of countries where APs can come from, and some of them need visas (Commonwealth countries, iirc). you can find it by googling.
am off to bed now, good night!

1dilemma · 17/11/2007 00:35

Thanks

night

BrummieOnTheRun · 17/11/2007 08:24

On the visa front, you can also hire americans through the BUNAC scheme (Blue Card). They can't call themselves an 'au pair' but there are many willing to do it on au pair terms.

BrummieOnTheRun · 17/11/2007 08:35

LOL at hiding the good biscuits, but food can be a big issue.

I wasn't prepared for the low-carber who refuses pasta, potatoes, rice. Pushed food bills through the roof.

And week 3, I realised why we were getting through 2 dozen eggs a week: the yolks were going straight into the bin. Free Range. Organic. Egg yolks. (Now the get cheap ones from the butcher, but if Atkins wasn't dead already, I'd be putting a contract out on him.)

Hiring an anorexic next time. JOKE!

MrsSlocomb · 17/11/2007 09:06

1dilemma My mother's help is Mexican. She is very diligent and hard working. Luckily for us she just happens to live round the corner (pure chance) so she works a split shift, She does 8-11 am and then 2.15-4pm. She wold be happy to do more but I can't afford it ,sadly. I'd have her here all day

jINGLESbells · 17/11/2007 19:57

talking about food my ap just can't get a grip on quantity! I left her potatoes, sausages etc to cook for dinner..she made 10 jacket potates for 2 kids and her!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry to hear that agency is being a pain in the a**s cloud,...I thought they were meant to be good...just goes to show! Try mine if you have no luck agency woman lives rurally so at least has a clue what we're talking about.

jINGLESbells · 17/11/2007 19:58

talking about food my ap just can't get a grip on quantity! I left her potatoes, sausages etc to cook for dinner..she made 10 jacket potates for 2 kids and her!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry to hear that agency is being a pain in the a**s cloud,...I thought they were meant to be good...just goes to show! Try mine if you have no luck agency woman lives rurally so at least has a clue what we're talking about.

jINGLESbells · 17/11/2007 19:58

Whoops..sorry

Simply · 18/11/2007 10:32

Great thread. I'm trying again to find an au pair and I devour these au pair threads for tips! Good luck to all those also trying to find an au pair.

Nightynight · 18/11/2007 15:17

If you are in Germany, I know an AP who is looking for a new family.

granarybeck · 18/11/2007 15:50

Hope you are winning at finding a new au pair cloudberry. Am kind of wishing i'd never opened this thread as out Turkish au pair arrived yesterday! She is unpacking upstairs so hopefully that shows some intention to stay. Is all very nerve-wracking. Am hoping will all be worth it.

laura032004 · 18/11/2007 22:17

Well our aupair got here OK, and seems quite nice and friendly. Her English is really good - you can hold a conversation quite easily. Hope the DS's take to her tomorrow

granarybeck · 19/11/2007 19:29

Can I ask a question of you veteran au pair people, English classes - do the au pairs usually pay for these themselves? For a lot of the classes in our area she is not eligible to attend because she has an au pair visa. I have found one private language school, but the cost for this seems a lot of her 'pocket money'. What do other people do?

jINGLESbells · 19/11/2007 21:31

Where is she from granary? Most ap's are EU citizens which means they are eligible..... my current ap has to pay for class for the first time, all the others have had free classes, but to be honest it is about £9 a week so she pays. If your ap has to pay a lot I would probably offer to pay half.....

Nightynight · 19/11/2007 22:13

granary - I pay for classes. It is a subsidised rate at adult education centres though. (volkshochschule in germany)

Simply · 19/11/2007 22:20

Nightynight - I'm in Mid Wales. Sorry I haven't been back to this thread before but I've been busy writing to potential au pairs. With a couple, I'm at the 2nd and 3rd e-mail stage so we're getting down to hours, rules, duties and stuff. It takes so much time!

granarybeck · 19/11/2007 22:23

She's from Turkey. They've all said she has to have lived here for three years. My mum works for adult ed and she said the funding rules have recently changed. The private language school is £30 per week for two classes (9-12) or £43 for three classes per week. I've got one more college to try tomorrow, couldn't get through today. When I phoned before she arrived the colleges didn't go into detail so i thought she could go to local college for the subsidised rate, but turns out not.

laura032004 · 19/11/2007 22:35

Perhaps I should look into classes in more detail. My ap is probably going to go to the same language school as the ap across the road, I think the classes there are £4/hr. She's from France though, so perhaps she would be eligible for a free or subsidised rate somewhere? I've no idea where to start looking for classes though.

Our first day went OK. Our ap has a friendly smiley face, and seems to interact OK with the DS's. She's been very helpful, and managed all the tasks I've given her well with little instruction. Her English is very good I think, but she wants to improve her accent. Will this happen with living with an English family?

I'm trying to encourage her to meet up with friends though - luckily she met someone on the ferry across, and has another friend nearby. I can imagine otherwise she's going to get bored very quickly.

granarybeck · 19/11/2007 22:50

I think a smiley face is a good sign Laura. Are you giving her tasks each day? I'd drawn up a rota/timetable for her but now thinking this could be a bit too rigid.

laura032004 · 20/11/2007 08:21

I did draw up a list of daily tasks:

morning
Tidy kitchen (unload/reload dishwasher, wipe sides, sweep floor...)
Hoover downstairs
Fold any dry washing on airer

evening
Play with DS's whilst I prep dinner
Tidy kitchen as morning
Hoover lounge/dining room (DS2 is v.messy!)
Play with DS1 whilst I put DS2 to bed

weekly
Clean bathroom (not toilets)
Strip and remake DS's beds
Hoover upstairs
Mop kitchen floor twice

I've said I don't really mind too much exactly when the morning jobs get done, or when the weekly jobs get done, so long as they all do. I'm a SAHM so can be quite flexible around her language classes etc. I just need an extra pair of hands as DH works away most of the time. I hoping we can both be flexible with each other. Time will tell!

jINGLESbells · 20/11/2007 13:05

Any member country of EU gets subsidised classes...I think you'll find Turkey has to pay. If it's £30 a week I'd pay half. TBH most of them don't actually need the classes unless the want to get a cambridge certificate, it's more the social occasion and the chance to meet people. Her accent will defintely improve Laura and really quickly. We always correct our AP's language and encourage them to use their dictionary. Also helping with homework especially phonics really improves their skills.