How much untidiness would you tolerate from your nanny...

[ExpLEUSIveS]

before you issue her with a formal written warning?

I used to think this was a battle not worth having. But it's unbearable. And rest assured I am no neat freak myself. But, I've gone over it with her time and time again. The duties are clearly outlined in the contract, and I have explained them on several occassions when it became apparent they need clarification and she needed reminding.

Would it be hasty of me to issue her with a formal written warning?

Give her a verbal warning first and make it clear it can't continue.

I've done that.

What sort of untidiness?

If you have given her a verbal warning then you need to give her a written one. What is in the contract regarding discipline?

Formal written warning is usually a step in a dismissal procedure - is that where you think you're going? As otherwise I am not sure what point there would be to it - if all your chats haven't changed things, I don't think writing the issue down would.

If you're not establishing your paper trail to dismissal and want to keep her but sort this issue, I think the checklist idea is ideal. (Make a laminated one!)

I don't really want to get rid of her. She is here on a gap year and is due to leave in June anyway. And she has other good qualities. Not to mention I don't want to uproot the kids from the nanny they have now gotten to know.

I just want her to clean up. I think I'll have to look at the lamintated list thing. I feel this is a level of micromanagement that I don't really want to take part in. I feel I have a nanny so I don't have to do these things. But, I guess I'm just going to have to do it.

Okay, I made my list and it is miles long. Think I better trim it down so DH doesn't accuse me of being a control freak.

none. sorry. i have always told our nannies at interview that i don't tidy up after other adults.

sorry, but once you get to that level of micromanagement i think you're on to a total loser. of course your list is going to be miles long - because if it isn't you'll get (re some totally obvious task) "oh but it wasn't on this list". plus it won't address quality of execution. however, if you're determined to keep her till june, then a checklist is probably the best tool to achieve an improvement.

Start with a short list, perhaps a different list of each day - some things may repeat such as unload dishwasher, put a load of washing on etc. Keep it simple to start with, say a max of three things on each day. Try to encourage them to be done in a 15 minute period - FlyLady uses 15 min periods, it seems to work quite well.
Once that has been running smoothly for a few weeks, introduce additional items to the list and expand the time.

However, time spent on household tasks, is not time spent with your children... so things need to fit in with any sleep routine that may exist. Toddlers like helping (sometimes), the 3 year old I care for will happily wipe the table, given a damp cloth.

Okay, let's start again.

What exactly is she not doing that you think she should be?

Why exactly is this a deal breaker for you?

She is just not very good at cleaning and tidying. The kitchen is often not clean when I get home. Dishes sometimes sit next to the sink awaiting cleaning for days. Counters are not wiped. High chair tray not wiped clean, etc. I'm not saying she never does these things, but I want them done every day by the time she finishes work.

The kids laundry is not really up to scratch either. She does it, but it often sits on top of the dryer for a day or two before she takes it up to fold it. And then it needs ironing (but often is just folded with wrinkles).

The kids' toys are an absolute tip. (this however is partly DH's fault so I don't go too hard on her for this).

She is a nice girl, and she is good with the kids. I'm just fed up with the mess and need a strategy for reigning her in.

I could go on. But you get the idea.

Is all this in the contract? Maybe I'm horribly naive but I always assumed that nannies looked after children and cleaners cleaned. I know absolutely nothing about it though, just curious.

What are your kids like? I could fold clothes, wash, iron, load dishwashers, clean tops, tidy with ds1 and ds2 - at any age). With ds3 (now almost 3) I've never been able to do a thing, he's a nightmare. Unloading the dishwasher takes me about 40 minutes with him around. IN an entire day I'll maybe wash some clothes, possibly hang them up, cook and not much else. There's no way I could iron with him around. How easily do you manage it all whilst looking after the kids at the same time? Perhaps time how long it takes you to do certain jobs whilst looking after them alone, then draw up a checklist from that.

Yes, it's all in the contract.

She is responsible for the cleaning/tidying/laundry associated with the children. So, for example, when she makes them dinner, she is expected to do the dishes as part of that chore. She is expected to put away the toys they play with during the day (or get the kids to put them away.

Can she put the toys away in a 10 minute childfree time at the end of the day. As part of my contract with ds1's therapists they have 5 mins at the end (without ds1) to tidy up. It depends on your children. I could always tidy around ds1 and ds2. DS3 no way. As I tidy he gets stuff out again. How do you find the kids at tidying? If tricky try and build in 5 mins at the end of the day or something.

The 4 year old is quite helpful and really likes to help. The 2 year old is less helpful but can do some things. He's a normal 2 year old who requires some basic instruction but he is generally cooperative. For example I could task him with putting all of the legos in one big bucket, but I would have to show him by putting the first couple in there and then I'd have to make sure he was distracted by a picture of train every 30 seconds.

If you don't employ a nanny......you DON'T really know.

Do you.

agree with mmj. my house also gets left messy at the end of the day - sometimes there just isnt time. id much prefer to know she is spending good time with the children and that they are happy with her tbh.

Or maybe if you do have a nanny you don't know what its like to try and do the daily housework on top of looking after the kids at the same time. Depends on your set up.

I have found that ds1's therapists vary in how tidy they are. One would keep ds1's therapy room spotless in her 5 mins alloted tidying up session, another..... well lets just say someone is currently at risk of breaking their ankle down there at the moment and I need to get down there and sort out stuff. It will take me a few hours (but I need to do ith when ds3 isn't around PMSL) BUT their ability to do the therapy is the important thing and both the spotless one and the really untidy one are absolutely brilliant therapists so I kind of concentrate on that. I personally wouldn't get too itchy about things like washing if the childcare is good, that is surely her primary responsibility.