Childcare for a 2 month old - WFH or Nursery / Childminder

[winnie3838]

Hi,

I am 12wks pregnant with my first child and just thinking ahead about our options once the baby is here.

I only get statutory maternity pay through my work and coupled with the nature of my job i will need to go back to work after 8 weeks (will save a couple of weeks annual leave to take the 6 weeks up to 8). My partner is the main bread winner so no option for him to take time off beyond his 2 weeks paternity leave.

We both work from home and although my partner has many meetings during the day, i only have a couple of meetings a week, very few work calls and no client calls. I work 30hrs per week and my partner FT.

I am looking for advice on whether it would be better for us to try to look after the baby between the two of us at home for a few months (something my employer is open to as a number of other colleagues have done/do this) or would it be better for the baby to go to a nursery / other childcare. We would probably be able to have some family support 1 day per work or perhaps 2 half days per week too as my partners mother is retired.

Thanks in advance for your replies

You're either going to have to try and manage or get a nanny - most nurseries won't take babies under 6 months.

8 weeks off is brutal though. Can you take at least one more month?

I would arrange formal childcare. Reading between the lines of what you've written, the childcare will fall more or less completely to you because your partner will have "calls". I doubt your employer would be happy in that scenario.

@Clymene oh thank you, i didn't realise that. I could potentially go back for slightly less hours for the first month, but i really couldn't be off completely for longer than 8 weeks.

@Aquicknamechange2019 yes he will definitely have less time that me although i know he will do as much as he is able to do. He is also one of these people that happily goes about his day on very little sleep and so he is more than happy to care for the baby for the first few hours of the day whilst i could get on with some work.

It depends on the baby and how you feel and what your employer expects of you. This is what I would have done with DC1 and DC2 : WFH with them until they are 6 months old and then pop them into nursery/childcare (once they are mobile and dropped to a couple of short naps). They were both chilled out snuggly babies and I could have worked around them. With DC2 I would have needed nursery/childcare to get any work done at all as she didn't sleep and screamed a lot. I'm not sure I could have done it at 8 weeks though, but I would have done by 12/16 weeks. Plenty of nurseries take babies under 6 months (assuming you are in England)- all of mine have been in before 6 months.

@noscoobydoodle thank you - yes i am in England. Yes i have thought about the fact that so much will depend on the temperament of the baby too. I really appreciate hearing your advice and experience - very helpful thanks :)

Our nursery took babies from 6 weeks although DS didn't start until 8mo. Is there no way you can save up while pregnant to get to at least 4 months off? I had a very challenging baby and I couldn't have worked around him. I also had PND and was horrifically sleep deprived so was barely functioning frankly. Work would have been impossible until 6mo.

It really does all depend on baby's temperament and also how you are after the birth. If you can I would save like crazy to try to extend mat leave. Can family help out financially at all? If you were my DD/DIL I would happily pay to help you extend your mat leave.

It depends a lot on your baby, and the flexibility of your work - for example are there set times you need to be working?

I am self-employed and have worked from home since DS was a few weeks old - very part-time at first - otherwise I would have lost clients. I did it with DS asleep in a sling or cot. It was possible because my hours aren't set though so I could work when he slept, and I used email not calls most of the time so I wouldn't disturb him.

Thank you @Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear it is really more to do with the nature of my work that i can't take more time off. I am the lead on a campaign which is at a specific time of the year and so if i went back after 4mths it would be too close to the campaign to be able to pick up and do my role, as too much prep happens before that. Sorry, i do appreciate that it will be very stressful for me but i do really need to start back in work after 8 weeks - 10 at the very latest 😬

I have to say, i think this is a really bad plan. Is there no way you can save up and use annual leave to get to 4 months?

Crosspost, sorry.

If you're vital to operations, you're going to need to splash out on a nanny, you won't be able to look after a baby and run a campaign.

I think the best bet would be to have a nanny who comes to your house. That way you can still see your baby a lot but the nanny can take the baby when you need to get something done. As PP have said it might be hard to find a nursery to take an 8 week old.

I would get a nanny. It will be more expensive but you could maybe do a temp nanny until the baby is old enough for nursery?
I would opt for childminder over nursery personally though, if you do go down that route.

Your work are legally obliged to give you up to a year OP so if you want to take longer don't let them stop you! However if you want to return to do this campaign then I would recommend a nanny if you can afford one. That way baby is in your house and you can see regularly between work. Also baby just has one additional care giver rather than multiple.

@LeeMiller as long as i am available during office hours to answer queries etc.. from my team or troubleshoot problems which is done via Teams/emails that is all that really matters. I can complete other tasks outside of office hours or whenever suits me. I was self-employed before (doing a similar role) and my work day was very similar to how it is now, so interesting to hear about your experience, thank you :)

@Ohalrightthen @NaturalStudy @Hapixmas @Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear thank you - it seems that if i do go down the childcare route then a Nanny would definitely be something to strongly consider. Perhaps due to the fact that i work 30hrs (so not quite FT) and that we could have some support from family, we can look at a pt nanny so that's not too crazy expensive.

What is your partners parental leave policy like, now that we're allowed to share between mum and dad, it may be that he gets paid more than just statutory. At my workplace dads can get 4 weeks enhanced full pay and then statutory pay same as maternity leave.

Some nurseries do take babies from 6 weeks so contact the ones near you to get an idea of availability, conditions and charges then work through any that sound good to find recommendations, reviews and if possible take tours.

I went back to work at 6 weeks and personally would advise against it. On paper it makes sense to get stuck back in quickly but 8 weeks will just be when the exhaustion is really starting to kick and most babies are still waking every few hours at that point (which is much more tiring than you can imagine). If you return to work, you need to factor in that you will be managing work in the most physical and emotionally exhausted state that you've ever been in so it can inadvertently have a significant effect on your ability to do your job. Best advise is to plan for everything but not make any firm decisions until you have the baby (eg you could have a difficult birth that takes many weeks to recover, or struggle with breastfeeding etc). Promising work that you will definitely return after such a short time is risky and could be putting you and your employers in a difficult position if you decide to change your mind.

I have a 9 week old (and a 2 yo) and I don't think I could work now. I'm very sleep deprived and my baby needs me a lot. As others have said a nanny might be the best option. I think it would be hard on both you and baby for baby to be away from you for a full work day? All the best x

Childminders will take babies from this age and potentially be more flexible so do shorter or fewer days until you need it.
Registered and inspected by ofsted....and thesame inspectors that go into school nursery and private nursery to the same standards you can be confident you will find someone who works well with you and your needs. So if you find you only need half days to start but have the option if busy to do extra adhoc hours you will maximise time with baby.

Hi @Stepintochristmas they could certainly hire someone to take over my role when i am on maternity leave, but I myself want to do the job and financially it would be difficult for us as i will only get stat maternity pay. My partner gets 2 weeks paternity leave - i'm not really sure about shared leave or how it works?

Thank you @Emelene

Thank you @jannier that is super helpful!

The earliest I've seen nurseries accept babies is 3 months. Sometimes Its 6 months.

Firstly I do think it would be nice if people considered that some mums do want to get back to work very quickly and others don't have a choice.

OP I think an in house childminder might be worth looking at. You could potentially be more flexible with finding the right pattern of hours that suits your situation, as you said you don't know what temperament your baby will have yet.

Are your work flexible to schedule of hours? You might be able to work things with them where you don't do standard 9-5 and can break it up a bit. That way you can get bits of time with baby too.

Good luck

Nurseries here take babies from eight weeks. Childminders are cheaper but there are more cons with them. I’d opt for a nursery or nanny.