Childcare for a 2 month old - WFH or Nursery / Childminder

[winnie3838]

Hi,

I am 12wks pregnant with my first child and just thinking ahead about our options once the baby is here.

I only get statutory maternity pay through my work and coupled with the nature of my job i will need to go back to work after 8 weeks (will save a couple of weeks annual leave to take the 6 weeks up to 8). My partner is the main bread winner so no option for him to take time off beyond his 2 weeks paternity leave.

We both work from home and although my partner has many meetings during the day, i only have a couple of meetings a week, very few work calls and no client calls. I work 30hrs per week and my partner FT.

I am looking for advice on whether it would be better for us to try to look after the baby between the two of us at home for a few months (something my employer is open to as a number of other colleagues have done/do this) or would it be better for the baby to go to a nursery / other childcare. We would probably be able to have some family support 1 day per work or perhaps 2 half days per week too as my partners mother is retired.

Thanks in advance for your replies

If you have to, I'd say it's doable to wfh with a newborn/very young baby, but only into they get to about a year and to bear in mind that most of your work week be during naps after the first few months and they reduce over time. It's not really doable after a year. But the first few months, sure.

And yes you'll be knackered but most babies don't sleep by the time their parents go back to work anyway, and some sleep as badly or worse than when tiny, so I don't think tiredness is a specific issue any more than any other time.

You may find though that you just don't care about work and find motivation very hard, especially if other parent friends around you are having fun with their babies and you are stuck at home juggling work.

When I had my first it was normal for everyone to go back between 6 and 12 weeks full time as you couldn't get flexible or part time. It is do able

What about a part-time nanny?

Yes, it’s different, but given a context in the U.K. where most mums take much more maternity leave I thought the OP might appreciate a conversation about the idea that doesn’t assume anyone taking a short maternity leave is naive/heartless.

Ugh why don’t my quotes work! That was in response to Clymene.

You remind me of myself at one stage in my life, OP. Work was everything and I couldn't imagine changing my life so that it wasn't. When I became a mum that changed. I still work hard but have a different perspective and I care much less about being the one to get things done. Having children can massively impact on your career so in some ways you are right to make sure you minimise the impact but I can't help feeling that if you don't change your mind once the baby arrives you will look back with regret. Chances are that you won't see a tangible reward from work for your commitment.

Thank you everyone for all your replies!

Just to be clear, i don't at all think i am irreplaceable at work or that i will get some extra recognition/reward/promotion for going back early. I work for a small non-profit, the company is very progressive and would totally be onboard with whatever decision i took. My work means a lot to me and i know that it's better for me and therefore my baby and our family if i am able to continue working in some way. I am considering now going back initially on much reduced hours that i originally planned and working up from there - we are also looking at the possibility of my mother moving in with us for a few months as it would actually really suit her current situation (aware there are def. pros and cons to this situation too 🤪) Thanks again for all your advice.

I took 9 months off with DD, but like you worked for a small company and wanted to keep in touch.

I did a little WFH, caught up with some stuff on the laptop with DD in a sling. She’s a contact napper so I could have easily dealt with emails on my phone one-handed whilst she slept. If you’re sitting on the sofa recovering it’s no great effort to do that (even sleep deprived), and you’re not missing out on time with baby. Kept my mind active too.

What I wouldn’t have been able to manage was getting up and out of bed, getting dressed, getting DD dressed and out of the door, driving to work and sitting in an office for 9 hours. I would have really struggled before 4/5 months.

But you could definitely keep in touch from home, respond to emails etc for an hour or two a day without sacrificing time with your baby. If DH can take baby for 1/2 day at the weekend and you can get family help throughout the week I think WFH flexibly on reduced hours could work well.

What about KIT (keeping in touch days) you can use up to 10 to work without ending your mat leave
Be sure there is agreement to pay you for them!

Just sharing my experience: I went back to work at 2 months full time. Everyone says I was nuts but it worked for us. We were initially going to get a nanny just until she was 6 months, but we loved having a nanny so much that we swallowed the extra expense and she never did go to nursery. Good luck! You can do this! Lots of people said to me “get the best childcare you can afford” and they are right.

I also wanted to say that in my experience it’s not possible to wfh effectively with a baby. At all. And my baby was “easy”!

Just wanted to give you my positive experience of returning to work earlier than a year. I went back to work when my babies were 5 months, 7 months and 3.5 months working 3 days a week, my partner also works part time so we didn't use childcare. Actually returning to work once I had recovered from the births (including one c section) was fine and I have an underlying chronic illness. I had normal stamina and brain power, and was able to do my job as well as ever. I did think that I would have lost confidence and had to relearn things if it had been off longer. I breastfed all 3 babies when I was at home and expressed milk at work. My DC had bottles of formula or expressed milk when they were with my partner. I co-slept with my babies and didn't find the nights too bad, although you would have to share nights fairly with your partner to make it work otherwise you will end up sleep deprived. Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Meant to say that I could not have concentrated working from home trying to look after my baby and would have chosen childcare.

I WFH FT with no help when the baby was about 9 months. I think I survived 4 + 6 weeks that way and then hot a nanny/babysitter for 12-15 hrs per week.

He's 15 months now and how's to nursery 5 hours. It's very manageable now ;)

With my first child at 8 weeks I was sobbing in a corner covered in sick while baby slept no more than 20 mins at a time, ever.
In your situation, if you must return to work, I'd get a nanny.

With one of my babies I could have worked for 2 x 2.5 he periods a day, quite happily and quite predictably at 2 months post partum.

With one of my babies, at the same stage pp, I couldn’t stand up straight without pain, she barely slept at night or napped during the day, and needed feeding every 2 hours (boob or bottle). I was. Total wreck, who could barely remember my own name. Don’t underestimate how long it takes to feed an 8 week old baby by any method!! And that you might be doing it 10 times a day.

Thank you so much - it is really so helpful to hear other people's experiences!