Nanny starting late, leaving early

[Whatnameisgood]

Family A and Family B have a nanny as a 3 day a week nanny share. Nanny wants to arrive 5 minutes late (9.05) and leave 5 minutes early (6.55) every day as it fits with her trains. Otherwise she’d be waiting 20 minutes at the beginning and end of the day for her trains (if she arrived on time and left on time). Family A doesn’t mind, but Family B thinks if you start at 9.05 you finish at 7.05 (meaning a 20 minute wait for the next train). Who is right?

@Itsnotlikethiswithotherpeople

I can’t imagine in any other job trying to renegotiate your hours based on public transport. As a teacher in London I often waited for trains. Family A are being kind but I don’t think Family B are wrong.

Yes Yet most people here think it's not strange In my job I had to wait 55 minutes for the next each day because the buses were so not often. That is when I would think they should let her leave 5 minutes early But 20 minutes I wouldn't even baulk at waiting at and would never ask an employer to save 20 minutes

If someone was looking after my children from 9-7 (almost), and they were doing a really good job with them, I would want to accommodate such a small change to help their community go easier. I’d accommodate their needs in the hope to keep the services of a good nanny and to respect the fact that after looking after my children all day that 5 mins early end let’s them get home 25+ minutes early for their own time.

Family B are unreasonable unless for some reason it’s absolutely vital that the nanny is available in the first and last five minutes of the day.

Family B. But I think both families would be more than ok to ask her to stick to the contracted hours.
20 mins isn't a long time to wait for a train (at both ends of the day).

I'd definitely adjust. I wouldn't even notice those 10 min. I would notice if she found another family closer to her home and left us.

Being a nanny isn't like working in an office though.

It's a personal relationship, there's an emotional connection and it means working long hours without a break.

Family B are being petty for no reason, and if they're not careful they'll be looking for a new nanny.

Is it 5 minutes though or would this become longer on multiple occasions? 10 minutes per day is a whole weeks free pay over the course of a year. Something to think about.

I would compromise and say leaving 5 minutes early is fine but I would personally like a prompt start. Getting the ultimate latest train possible to work enviably ends up making you later than anticipated on a fairly regular basis IME.

Quibbling over 5 minutes is seriously petty.

Family A is right.

let her do it for 2 days per week but add the 20 mins to the start or finish on day 3.

Technically family b are right, however does 5 minutes (10 in total) make a massive difference? Do family b need to be out of the house before the nanny arrives late, if so what time do they return. If family b are in the house then they are not showing any compassion and no respect to the nanny. If they need to be somewhere for a certain time and return for a certain time then this can't be helped and the nanny would should accept this with upset.

I admire family a, what a lovely, considerate family, I would rather have a happy nanny looking after my children and would happily pay them the same for the sake of 10 minutes per day.

Ok I see your point about the emotional connection and not being like in an office.... But I still can't believe the nanny actually brought it up when it's only 20 minutes

What if both parents of family B miss a 9.10 train and arrive at their work later as a result? If that’s the case, unfortunately I think nanny has to suck it up. My employer won’t accept a daily 9.35 to accommodate childcare. That would need to be explained on hiring someone really - nanny employers are equally at the mercy of train timetables and employers, and the substantial reason the nanny has a job in the first place is to enable their employer to do theirs.
If it’s a point of principle however, family B need to get a bloody grip.

Generally I would say family A is right. It's important to have some give and take in both sides in a nanny-employer relationship. But I would say it depends on why those hours were chosen in the first place and what the knock on effect of the change would be. For example, pre-COVID I would get off my train at 1815, and race home to do an quick handover before our nanny finished at 1830. If she had said she wanted to finish at 1820 to catch a bus, we couldn't have done it without leaving our own jobs 30 minutes earlier to get a train out of London, so we would have had to say no. But if there isn't a reason like that there is no need to be a dick over ten minutes a day.

I’d go family A, no liss of pay etc, but would assume the nanny is likely to be more flexible with them if they’re late etc.

I don't think anyone here is being unreasonable, but think a good compromise would be to allow her to leave 5 minutes early. It's a long day plus a commute so as a former Nanny I'd rather be able to get home earlier than get a later train in the morning.

It depends on the Nanny imo. If she is also willing to be flexible when necessary then yes, that’s give and take. But if the 10 mins less each day is the thin end of the wedge and other accommodations start to be expected then I’d be worried about reliability.
I agree with the pp who said why would someone expect a job to include allowances for public transport. Imagine expecting a factory, bank or shop to accommodate this.

Exactly what @AbbeyBelfast says.

You’re leaving the nanny responsible for your child. If you begrudge them 10 mins the relationship will never work.

I had nannies for ten years. There will be so much give and take required over the years you really need to pick your battles.

If I was the nanny I would seriously be considering whether I want to continue working for somebody who has no flexibility over 5 minutes. I bet that family nit pick and niggle over everything.

My concern would be does nanny look after my child/children well and is so she is a very valuable member of my family where 5 minutes is well worth it for a happy nanny who I trust looking after my children.

If it didn't inconvenience me more than it would help her (e.g. I'd have to leave work early) I'd definitely be Family A. But then I view our nanny as part of the family, the same way my parents viewed my nanny, so the Family B attitude is completely alien to me. I find the idea that it's all about rights to this and that, rather than our responsibilities towards each other, rather sad. It's such a race to the bottom.

It’s 10 minutes. I’d rather have a happy nanny and a good relationship that when one day a bit of flexibility is needed on their part it’s ok. Clockwatching doesn’t build good relationships.

Ffs. Quibbling over 10 minutes??

Let her take the trains that are convenient to her. I can't believe this is even a question.

I really couldn't get worked up over 10 minutes in a 10 hour day. I'd rather my nanny wasn't waiting ages for a train.

I'm a little surprised that so many think its ok nanny asked this tbh.

I would have expected that she ask to either arrive late and stay late or arrive early and leave early. Therefore still working her hours but reducing one waiting time and eliminating another.

Years ago before we drove my DH's bus was every two hours at 4 and 6pm. We did work flexi but the earliest we could finish was 4pm so he could never get that bus. Only once when feeling ill all day did he ask the boss if he could leave five mins early so he could get home 2 hours early. He was told no. Now that was unreasonable.