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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Nanny doesn't wash up

98 replies

happyascarrie · 11/11/2020 07:49

DH and I (wfh) usually have 1-2 evenings a week where we both have to work until 7/ have later meetings. We have a nanny who comes 4 days a week, usually until 4 but on these late evening she stays until 7:30.

As part of our agreement she cooks DC dinner on these nights, always something made from scratch and the DC love it. The only problem is she uses just about every pot, pan, dish and spoon in the kitchen to make it, she'll weigh out ingredients in different bowls, use a spoon to stir something and put it straight in the wash bowl or dishwasher only to get a new one out 2 mins later.

She seems to always find a reason to not wash up, she'll suddenly whisk the DC off to another room and make some game that she 'has' to play with them. I've asked a couple of times for her to tidy the kitchen and she's said she'd do it in a minute but never does and when she leaves says 'oh gosh so sorry forgot to wash up' and DH and I spend the next hour blitzing the kitchen to make our own dinner whilst trying to wrangle DC into bed.

How do I politely insist she washes up? DC are good at entertaining themselves and I'm usually downstairs not long after DC dinner anyway so she could do the washing up while I spend time with them. She cleans up after they've done painting or messy play and tidies their toys to reset the room and she's run the hoover around and cleaned the (already clean) kitchen before so she does know it's in our agreement?

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Tadpolesandfroglets · 11/11/2020 07:54

Sit her down and go over the agreement. Reiterating that washing up is important and you’d like her to do this over entertaining the kids.

Phillipa12 · 11/11/2020 07:55

'Please make sure that you have tidied the kitchen before you clock off' its not difficult, and if she finishes a little later than 7.30pm then tough, as you have said there is enough time for her to clean up after herself and it really doesn't take long.

ireallyamthewalrus · 11/11/2020 08:30

I would say something along the lines of what you’ve said here. Sounds very reasonable.

Florencemattell · 11/11/2020 12:30

Sounds odd to be honest. Is she trying to make a point? Do you leave the kitchen untidy when she starts work?
She should definitely clean up after cooking , just tell her. Would give a verbal warning and if doesn’t work follow up with a written warning .

Florencemattell · 11/11/2020 12:32

And if you do leave kitchen messy kitchen that’s another issue and I think passive aggressive behaviour like this is abhorrent.

AfterSchoolWorry · 11/11/2020 12:34

Do you have a dishwasher?

Pumpertrumper · 11/11/2020 12:40

I’d just follow up with a

You: Can you make sure the kitchen gets reset before you head off please?
Her: Yes ofc will do it in a moment
You: Fab, thanks. DH and I won’t have time to do it so it’ll need doing before you leave.

Her: Oh gosh, sorry I totally forgot to clean the kitchen
You: Ah, really needs doing and like I said earlier DH and I can’t do it tonight. If you start now won’t take too long Grin

Smallsteps88 · 11/11/2020 12:40

If it takes you and DH (2 people) an hour to blitz the kitchen just so you can eat then you are expecting her (1 person) to spend 2 hours cleaning it. Are you exaggerating about taking an hour to blitz it? Sounds a bit much TBH.

mumto2teenagers · 11/11/2020 12:47

What time does she cook the dinner, she must be making a real mess if it takes you and DH an hour to tidy it.

I think you need to sit her down and just explain that she needs to prioritise the kitchen over playing with your children. If she is employed as your nanny I expect she sees being with the children her role more than washing up.

happyascarrie · 11/11/2020 13:02

Thank you all!
We leave the kitchen spotless when she arrives. It's quite large and she manages to use every counter, hob and space in the oven. I wish I was exaggerating with how much mess there is when she's done cooking but she even leaves things like dough scraps on the side and flour everywhere. She also gets food on the floor and we have DS is crawling now so I'm worried he'll be putting it in his mouth!

I'm considering saying to her to not make food from scratch as she's not tidying as she goes. We have a dishwasher and everything can go in it, she's used it once or twice but only runs it half full at most! I don't expect her to blitz it, just a bit of washing up would do!

Thank you for your advice, she's not with us due to lockdown but she's due to start back in December so I'll have a chat before she comes back to remind her of the agreement.

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Smallsteps88 · 11/11/2020 13:07

Tbh if it’s just a bit of washing up I think you and DH can manage it as she’s stayed a long day and it was feeding your DC that caused the washing up to exist.

happyascarrie · 11/11/2020 13:08

Btw she starts dinner at different times, sometimes early afternoon if it's a slow-cooked dish. She sometimes prepares the meal in advance and has plenty of time during DCs naps and independent play to tidy the kitchen.

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happyascarrie · 11/11/2020 13:09

I'd happily do the washing up but it's in our agreement. She happily agreed to it and it was something she offered when we were doing the hiring process. She just either forgets or refuses. But she makes so much mess we'd sooner give the kids frozen chips and nuggets on those nights to save our evenings.

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WhereverIGoddamnLike · 11/11/2020 13:10

@Smallsteps88

A nannies job included cooking and cleaning up anything related to the children. That's her job. Doesnt matter how long her day is; she accepted the role, she accepted the contract and she accepts the pay so she needs to do her job.

SparklyOwl · 11/11/2020 13:11

I'm usually downstairs not long after DC dinner anyway so she could do the washing up while I spend time with them.

When you come downstairs tell her you will now watch them whilst she cleans up in the kitchen.

happyascarrie · 11/11/2020 13:12

I don't know if it's relevant but we do pay above average because we're quite rural and because she does so much for us. We adore her and the children adore her but it's become quite an issue!

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Smallsteps88 · 11/11/2020 13:13

I'd happily do the washing up but it's in our agreement.

Well then take it out of the agreement and stop being bothered by it.

mummmy2017 · 11/11/2020 13:15

Tell her she needs to start Dinner an hour earlier, so she has time to clean up her mess...
Otherwise just cook for the children and leave it for her to serve the next day.

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 11/11/2020 13:17

Why should the OP change the contract, to give the nanny less duties, but continue to pay her at her current rate?

OP, a lot of people on here can be pretty bitchy about people who have nannies and think that you should just suck it up and do half the work because you're lucky just to have her looking after your kids. Ignore them; its nonsense.

You've employed her for a job with a clear description so telling her to actually complete the work is the right thing to do.

Smallsteps88 · 11/11/2020 13:19

Why should the OP change the contract, to give the nanny less duties, but continue to pay her at her current rate?

Because

she does so much for us. We adore her and the children adore her

And IMO that’s worth more than niggling over some washing up.

Othering · 11/11/2020 13:20

If she's great in other ways and you want to keep her, then I'd flex a bit. Either buy some good quality ready meals or hellofresh and get her to use these or ask her if she would do a couple of hours extra of batch cooking.

myneighboursarerude · 11/11/2020 13:23

For argument’s sake I’d tell her straight - either she needs to ensure she cleans or you’ll start buying in tea for the children and she can put it in the oven.

happyascarrie · 11/11/2020 13:24

Thank you @WhereverIGoddamnLike! I knew it'd be risky posting on here!

Thank you all for your uh advice, I shall have a word with her about doing her job properly and fulfilling all roles and if needed we will amend her contract and pay. I'm certainly not buying ready meals though, thank you!

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Cocopogo · 11/11/2020 13:25

It sounds like from your OP you have a dish washer, why can’t she just stack it in there as she’s going a long? If she’s time to cook from scratch away from the DC then she’s time to clean up

happyascarrie · 11/11/2020 13:27

Exactly my thoughts! She's a great cook and has professional experience but not so much in dishwasher filling I suppose!

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