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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Parents insisting you cm a child with contagious illness who is very poorly

60 replies

rainbow71 · 12/10/2007 13:00

I currently cm for 3 under 5's one of which has just come down with chicken pox. The parents insist I look after him even though he has high temp and is not eating and barely drinking. I have said no as I feel it's against the best interest of the child and would mean me keeping in the other children (they have had this illness already)and they have threatened ending the contract without notice if I do not have him. I would be interested to know what other cm's would do in this situation. I have said I am happy for him to come back when the spots have crusted over and his temp is back to normal.

OP posts:
lemonaid · 12/10/2007 13:01

What does your official policy say?

Carmenere · 12/10/2007 13:04

God they must be under a seriuos amount of pressure at work not to be able to take time off to mind their child. That is shocking. Sorry no advice but I think you are right, the little fellow should be at home until he is a bit better.

diplodocus · 12/10/2007 13:04

I'm not a CM, but as a parent who uses a cm I'm disgusted by their attitude. Of course you can't take him - not fair on anyone. Using a CM doesn't mean you can abdicate all parental responsibility. Hope you manage to sort it out.

MaureenMLove · 12/10/2007 13:07

My policy says that I will not take children with infectious diseases or high temp and not eating. (Written in much better terms, obviously!) How can you be expected to give all the children you mind, the attention they need, if you are looking after a sick child.

HOWEVER, in the case of CP, I have asked that parents advise me first and I will then speak to other parents to see if they mind. As long as the child is OK in themselves and doesn't need constant attention, then thats fine.

Ultimately, if she's signed a contract, with a notice period included, she can cancel without notice, but she'll still have to pay you the notice.

Madness that she has the nerve to insist you look after him tbh.

ChasingSquirrels · 12/10/2007 13:10

no, no, no (as a parent not a cm). Their sick child is not your responsibility. Would also ask what your contract says, presumably that he can't come, if so and they end contract without notice they are in breach and you can sue (although I am sure this isn't the route you want to go).
Poor little boy.

LoveMyGirls · 12/10/2007 13:12

Call her bluff, she won't find anyone else that will care for him while he is contagious and tbh if she does take him out of your care then she isn't the type of parent i'd like to have a long term working relationship with anyway as if she will do this to you this time what else is she prepared to do?

CarGirl · 12/10/2007 13:14

If all your other mindees have had cp then I would say once his temperature has subsided and he is eating and drinking you will have him. At the moment he is clearly too unwell for you to have him.

My cm had dd2 for the day when she had cp but she had no other children that day and she wasn't "ill" with it either. Can't believe a parent would be happy to leave a child with a carer when in that state

LoveMyGirls · 12/10/2007 13:14

They will still have to pay you for the notice period and in this case if they refuse to pay I would definately take them to court over the money.

You are self employed it is up to you to say wether you are prepared to look after a sick child or not.

millie76 · 12/10/2007 13:19

That really is appalling. My CM wouldnt take either of my DCs when they had chickenpox, and I wouldnt have asked her to either. Her policy stated that she would take them when the scabs had crusted over, which she did.

Don't feel bad about not taking the mindee. You have your other mindees to think about, and a child that is too unwell to eat and has a temperature needs to be at home.

Original poster
rainbow71 · 12/10/2007 13:21

Hi, Yes I have a contagious illness policy stating the child is to be kept away from the cm setting until 24 hous after the symptoms have ended and the parents have signed this. They said they are saving their hols to go away for a month and feel very strongly they will find other childcare if I don't look after him as they feel very let down. I have explained that one of my other parents is pregnant and is not happy about me cm him whilst he is ill. They said I looked after my dd when she had CP so why couldn't I look after their ds. I explained my dd was in her own home with her mum and was a lot older and did not have a temp, continued to eat and drink etc. They have basically said if I don't change my mind they will terminate contract immediately and not pay the notice period. I am very upset as my mindee is very happy and settled here and loves the other children. I have seen him though and he is very itchy and just wants to sit and cuddle his mum (he's only just 2 yrs old).

OP posts:
lalaa · 12/10/2007 13:22

what about if one of the mums of the other mindees is pregnant and not immune? remote possibility given that the other mindees have had it already, but you never know. it's really not just about the other children, but also about adults that the infectious child may come into contact with.

apart from that, if the child is clearly ill, surely the best place for him is with one of his parents.

flowerybeanbag · 12/10/2007 13:25

rainbow that's terrible, sounds like they are trying to bully you into taking their child and assuming you wouldn't chase them for the notice money.

I'd stick to your guns and say absolutely no problem if they wish to terminate the contract, and should the notice money not be forthcoming you will pursue the matter through the small claims court.

The small claims court is easy to do now, you can do it online.

CarGirl · 12/10/2007 13:26

I think you just have to call their bluff, remind them that they signed the contracts. I really do not think I would want them as long term parents with an attitude like that.

Also remind them that CP can be dangerous one of mine ended up hospitalised because of it. Because I had been caring for her I knew that she hadn't slept etc etc for 48 hours and that there was something very wrong. Cp is not just some harmless virus.

LoveMyGirls · 12/10/2007 13:26

Read up on the possible complications of CP in contact with pg women and it will make you more determined not to have mindee while he is contagious also you cxannot carry on with normal activities with a child with cp - toddlers groups etc which is unfair on you and the children you mind. They are legally bound to pay you the notice period, give her the number for NCMA helpline and they will tell her on your behalf. You are in the right stay strong and if she takes mindee out of your care then she is being ridiculous. A nursery wouldn't put up with this treatment. Am very on your behalf.

CarGirl · 12/10/2007 13:28

Also presumably they had the choice of not sending their ds to you (without charge) when your dc had CP, ie you told them and they choose to still send him!

newgirl · 12/10/2007 13:28

definitely dont take him until spots have crusted over -that is what our nursery would do - some kids get it very badly and feel lousy

i am sure you would find a new client

they obviously have no idea what they are doing poor kid

MaureenMLove · 12/10/2007 13:29

Blimey Rainbow, thats awful! She hasn't got a leg to stand on though! I undestand where she's coming from with your dd, but I assume you advised them she had CP and gave them the option of bringing him or not? I'd contact your advisor for info tbh. Its just not on!

ingles2 · 12/10/2007 13:29

Oh FGS! Call their bluff rainbow! This is just bullying tactics! I love the " let down" line...Wonder if they feel let down by child for contracting bl**dy illness!!!!!!! Honestly some people!

barnstaple · 12/10/2007 13:30

What utterly selfish people. Do mention that they'll be in breach of contract if they refuse to pay. As they're saving they won't want to spend the money on fighting it.

lemonaid · 12/10/2007 13:32

Possibly over-dramatic, too, but... CP can be dangerous (very rare, but the toddler son of a friend of mine died from complications that set in very quickly). He should be with his parents.

MissInvisible · 12/10/2007 13:34

how is she corresponding this info to you?, i would ring her/text?, tell her your contract says xy &z, you (presumably?) spoke to other parents about them coming when your dd had cp and your dd did not need one to one care where as her 2yr old baby DOES.
say if she does wish to go back on the contract she signed, then ultimatly that is her descision and you will invoice her for her notice period mentioning that as she signed in agreement to this, she is legally bound and you do not want this to become nasty(are you with ncma, did you use thier contrcts?, they reinterate all this and will take this on for you)..good luck, let us know how it go's

Megsdaughter · 12/10/2007 13:36

call their bluff, bloody disgrace, Iwould then also keep a eye out for a replacement mindee.

I have never given notice to a mindee, but have a few parents IYKWIM.

Saz73 · 12/10/2007 13:38

I would call her bluff too, even to the point of say that you'll end the contract if they don't pick him up. They would have trouble finding childcare for him next week if he's got CP, no other CM/nursery would take him till clear!! If he's got it really bad should be at home with parents having lots of cuddles. Why do we put up with all this rubbish from parents!!

muppetgirl · 12/10/2007 13:40

I am astounded that any mother/parent would be okay to leave a child that is still ill with anyone not family -no offence to you intended at all.

A child that has a temp and is barely eating????

MaureenMLove · 12/10/2007 13:43

What are you going to do then? We're all here and clearly minders and parents all think the same way, so you can be assured that whatever she says, we'll give you an answer!