Why is it so difficult...?

[HappyDaddy]

Why is it so difficult to find a local childminder, who is available to do the nursery run and look after dd until dw or i get home?

All DW and I want to do is be able to work successfully. It seems impossible as ALL the childminders on the council list are a) not local b) not flexible (despite advertising as such) or c) clearly not interested in being childminders (so why advertise!?).

Our previous childminder goes to college in the evenings so no longer available, current childminder is wonderful but has fragile health.

Why is it so difficult?

tracyk, unfortunately due to dws current salary and our outgoings, that's not a remote option until I can replace her earnings with mine. That wont happen for at least a year.

This is why so many women have got shit careers I'm afraid

From when she starts school you don't have a chance in HELL of covering all her hours

I have basically just been working evenings this term because each day DD goes to school for 3 hours and is TOO KNACKERED to even think about going to nursery as well as this

So one of you is probably going to have to give up your career then anyway or you are going to explode from stress

I'm afraid you seem to Want It All and we all know that isn't possible

It's not about wanting it all. It really isn't. While I was at home, DWs career blossomed. She now would LOVE to give it up, we just can't afford it. Not until I can replace her money.

I'm fucking fed up of the whole fucking shit situation. It's fucking bollocks.

Have you tryed asking the other nursery staff if they would be interested? Several of the staff at dc's old nursery would look after kids from 6am in their homes, bring them to nursery for the day then take them home and look after them til parents home.

Au pairs can work up to 25 hours a week for bed/board and pocket money (around 60-85pounds a week depending on your area). They aren't suitable for looking after very young children or lots of sole charge care (although you can find some with childcare experience most are youngsters with no experience)

Might it be worth finding a reliable student/other parent (with references and CRB of course,) who might be able to do those hours?

As A childminder, can I say we are limited in the number of younger children we can mind and therefore, from a financial point of view, it would mean a cut in potential income just to do those hours.

Can she or you not drop some hours or work from home a couple of days a week. I thought the employer had to seriously consider your requests for reducing hours with children involved?
Are you doing your exams during work time or in your own time? could you get your employer to give you day release at an establishment nearer home?
How about asking friends if they have responsible teenagers/students looking for extra cash/experience to pick up your dd. and get someone else to do the drop off's? or a 'housekeeper' type person - when I was a kid - we had a neighbour let us into our house where she did some housework and ironing and looked after us till our parents came home.

have you tried placing your own ad? round here people are always advertising for mothers' helps with those sort of hours wanted. put up ad at nursery, local paper, tesco?

Au pair wouldn't work then, we have nowhere to put them up.

I think I will ask at the nursery, yes.

PS yes, it is horrible, and I send my blessings that you find some way around this. Talk to staff at nursery and other parents. Good luck!

Have you thought about freelancing? a local company may not want you f/t - but maybe 5 local companies would want your for a day each?

tracyk, I only started my job 3 months ago, DW only started her (permanent role) at the start of august, before that she'd been contracting at the same place. As we are so new we dont qualify for flexible working.

I just don't know. I can see me having to work locally but that means DW will be stuck in a high paying job she no longer wants to do and us unable to swap places.

What will change next year though? Your dd will have even less hours at school than at a nursery, or am I missing something?

I think the most important thing is putting your dd first and she needs continuous care imo and not cm, nursery, cm, then home and as others have said, it's a very long day for a small child to not see a parent. Couldn't you hold off for another year until things change? (whatever those changes will be).

Personally I wouldn't leave my children for 12 odd hours a day and only see them properly at weekends but that's just me.

My dh does support (3rd line), server support, back office stuff, development etc so has a varied role within the company. He used to work in London but got a new job here when we moved and finds it much better now.

I was under the impression nannies earn around 35K a year-am surprised to see 14k being bandied around.

HD, I sympathise-but I agree with those who've said that CMs probably won't take your dd on because of the financial implications of the limited hours (despite what they say on their blurb!).

Our dd goes to a CM from 8-6 which works out fine for now (dh and I both work 9-5ish) but in the future we may well move a bit further out of london- in which case the longer commutes could end up causing us the same problem you're currently facing. Life will get very complicated once dd starts school...and there's no way we will be able to afford a nanny either...am currently burying my head in the sand and hoping that somehow things will work out...

I wish you luck-hope you find someone soon

Agree it's not about wanting it all - that phrase makes me cross! I've been in the situation where both me and dh had to work full time to make ends meet. For some people there is no choice.

A 'mother's help' rather than a nanny may work (mainly because you only pay for the hours you use, rather than a nanny who needs a full-time salary) - people advertise for them in the local newspapers round here (or you could try cards in shop windows).
Another idea is to contact any nearby colleges who run childcare courses and see if any childcare students want to earn some money and get experience for their cv.

cornsilk - I think that depends on how much you earn and how many children you have. Nurseries and childminders are expensive.

JodieG1, next year dd will be at a local school. Our good friend, who lives on our street, has two daughters also at local schools. She has offered to do the drop off and pick ups and look after dd after school, with her two.

Also we don't CHOOSE to palm dd off on others, as you are implying. At the moment, we have NO choice.

UNTIL I can get INTO 3rd line support, DW can't give up work like she wants to.

happy daddy

assume you relaise that as your friend will be caring for your daughter for more than 2 hours a day she will HAVE to become a registered childminder

Even if she's not getting paid?

Or are you going to grass me to the local council?

I wasn't implying that at all just giving you my opionions on childcare. Personally, if I were you, I'd hold off with your career in London until next year then. Seems the most viable option.

Do you just do support or do you cover other areas in your job? I ask because local firms may want someone that could do it all iyswim. You could always start your own business, support home users, there's always a market for that and there's the potential to start it up whilst carrying on with your normal job until you have drummed up some business of your own. There will always be a need for pc support.

I think the 2 hours is only relevant if the person is getting paid.

WTF would i grass you to the local council...

I dint even know who you are

it would be HER problem, not yours anyway

JodieG1, I have a friend who has his own business doing pc support. It's pointless, the big manufacturers have it pretty much sewn up as it's so cheap for them to offer it. Schools also don't need it as much as I hoped they might.

It's not that I'm after a big london career, there just aren't the jobs doing 2nd line support locally. It's either I take a step back and a bug paycut to work locally or try to go forward and earn more so DW can step back.

To be honest, it's pissing me off royally.

You need to be careful about advertising for help - it's illegal to care for a child in your own home for more than 2 hours a day for reward (including money, chocolates, etc). It's fine if the care is in the child's own home.

An au pair is usually a young person aged 18-25 who comes to this country and lives with a family in return for light housework/chilcare duties. They usually do around 5 hours per day work in return for room and board, and weekly pocket money - somewhere between £50-80 depending on your location. Have a scout on Gumtree and see what the local rate is for your area, or someone on here might know.

There are lots of seasoned parents with au pairs on here if you need more help!

It seems that the frank fact is that I HAVE to chuck in the london job and work locally. OK, dd will be sorted BUT dw has no hope of giving up her job to be the mum she feels she hasn't been able to be.

Marvellous. What's the point?