Why is it so difficult...?

[HappyDaddy]

Why is it so difficult to find a local childminder, who is available to do the nursery run and look after dd until dw or i get home?

All DW and I want to do is be able to work successfully. It seems impossible as ALL the childminders on the council list are a) not local b) not flexible (despite advertising as such) or c) clearly not interested in being childminders (so why advertise!?).

Our previous childminder goes to college in the evenings so no longer available, current childminder is wonderful but has fragile health.

Why is it so difficult?

It should not be so difficult, but local circumstances may mean that council lists are out of date, that local childminders are full or not wanting to fill all their places, that local childminders won't work the hours you require etc. Childminders run their own business, so they can do that however they like. The council (Children's Information Service) is purely a listing agent, which like all listing agents relies on up-to-date data.

Where are you located? Perhaps there is a Mumsnet Childminder in your area with a vacancy.

How flexible are you requiring someone to be... could it be that the hours you are wanting as just not an attractive business proposition. Feel free to post the hours you require, if you would like feedback regarding if the hours you propose would be viable for a childcare business (in this case a childminder).

The hours we require are listed as standard by a lot of the listed minders. When yo ring them they say "oh, no I don't do those hours".

I appreciate they can work as long or as short hours as they want but it's driving me insane trying to find anyone.

We'd need 7.30 to 8.15, as DD nursery opens at 8.15. And 5.30 to about 7pm, from when nursery closes til I get home.

DW and I both work in london so need to get trains, hence the hours. Also we've only called minders who advertise that they are available to go to local nurseries.

It's very frustrating.

We are in Rochester, Kent.

I'm really sorry, HD, but those do look like unusual hours for a childminder to work - IME they're usually eight till six. I do sympathise. DP and I do shifts - one goes in early to come back early - on the days I work in an office, but I know that option isn't open to everyone.

I think the reason is that it means that the childminder will eb working and almost 12 hour day, which many childminders, especially those with children may not want to do.... may be wanting to settle there own children in bed etc.

all though they may not have your child as a childminder they will be likely to have otehr children so will still be a long day for them

What happens if you child is ill at nursary and needs collecting? Will you be doing it or expectingt he childminder to? (if expecting the childminder to obviously you will need to pay her at least something for being 'on call' just in case.

Maybe a nanny would be a better soloution for you (but appreciate that may be quite expensive)

Hi there!

As a childminder I can say that the majority of my calls I get are totally unsuitable. Parents tend to be 'peeved' off with ME for not wanting their child. It's not I don't want to work/childmind... it's that often it just isn't suitable for us.

My children are young (3 and 1) and so I would never mind after 6:30pm, many phone calls want minders at weekends, shifts or late nights. None of these are suitable for me and my CIS info does state this. I think parents chose to throw a blind eye to all this info and just see OFSTED, qualified, references and experience...

Nannynick is right, childminders run their OWN business and therefore it is important for it to suit them.

I would consider asking about on here or nannyjob.co.uk as sometimes you do find childminders lurking there too. Have you tried your local netmums site too???

Motherinferior, I originally thought they might be unusual but loads of the local minders advertise 7am-7pm. Then are obstructive when you call. I half think they've put up some bogus hours to get people to call them.

I can see myself having to jack my London job in and work locally, unfortunately I only started 3 months ago, it's a great opportunity and there's sod all work locally.

So how do other working parents manage it?

I've gone to the council and only called those who advertise the hours I require. I expect to pay extra for anyone if they have dd if she needs picking up at short notice. She's at nursery full time and will be going to school next year so nanny seems such a waste, both financially and of the nanny's time.

I manage it by not working such long hours. I chose to have children and if that means having less of a career so be it. I know you love your job HD, but I do find it a little odd when couples both work such long hours, meaning that children spend very little time with parents

OK Pillock, here's my background.

I gave up work in 2004 to be a SAHD with dd. She started at nursery and I worked very short hours locally. Shes flourished at nursery and now I got the opportunity to work back in london, as childcare was all sorted. I don't work "long hours" I work 9-5.30, but obviously have to get the train to and from work.

Apologies for wanting to work and have a decent career.

Alas I agree with the others, the hours are certainly not what a childminder in my area (Surrey/Berkshire) works.

I am surprised that there are childminders showing those hours on their CIS info... but it could be that the information is obtained from an inaccurate source. If you have contacted your local CIS directly, they will send out a feedback form in due course... though you can always contact them and give feedback. After all it is in everyone's interest that the details provided to parents is accurate.

5.30pm is also a problematic time... it would be when parents are collecting children from a childminders, so it is not feasible for a childminder to pick up your DD. Making the nursery day shorter may be a more viable option, but as I expect if a childminder were to be able to do the hours you required, you would be charged for the childcare place on a fulltime basis, then you may as well remove your DD from nursery and have the childminder care for her all day. If the childminder were only charging for hours that your DD was with the childminder, then it would not be financially viable I would expect for most childminders.

Not everyone can afford to have one parent at home or working part time. Sorry.

I know your background HD. I also know that 'I can't afford it' isn't really true, as while it may mean less luxuries, it can be done.

you need a nanny HD - I'd drop the nursery and just get a nanny in your shoes.

I leave for work at 6.30am. Luckily for me, dh's job starts late and finishes late so he does drop offs and I do pick ups.

Unfortunately, he's going away for 2 weeks and I've had to arrange with work that I come in late and had to call in about a million favours with friends .

It's a nightmare all this childcare malarky.

foxinsocks - a nanny means that dd loses contact with all her friends at nursery. She's settled there.

pillock, you don't know my financial background so you can't know that "i can't afford it" isn't true. Lucky you that it is in your case.

Have you considered an au pair? Although I appreciate you might not have the space! Or maybe a childcare student willing to do drop-offs/pick-ups? Nursery staff willing to do an extra bit at the beginning/end of the day? Although you'd have to check it out with the nursery. Nanny share?

Have you considered what you will do next year when your dd is in full-time school? I assume she'll still need dropping off/picking up - if so, setting up a nanny share which could continue when your daughter goes to school might be an option?

Sorry if you've already considered and discounted all these options!

A CM/nursery combo is pretty unusual in my neck of the woods. Tends to be either/or for pre-schoolers.

I think a nursery that only opens at 8.15 in the London region is pretty unreasonable. Are there no other nannies or parents of friends of hers at nursery that she could go to in the morning?

You may have more luck finding a childcarer for just the evening bit?

I can see why a childminder wouldn't want to do those hours in terms of pick ups. If I was a CM I might advertise those hours but would assume it would be for the child with me the entire time in my house. If I had other children to care for as well I wouldn't want to be dragging them in and out of the house at 5.30pm for example. It would be very disruptive for any CM.

Try asking around for big group CM's or ones who employ assistants- they're likely to have more flexibility for your request.

Really though I think you need a nanny or au pair.

I am not lucky. I am on my own with 2 children. I can't really afford to work, but I do it and sacrifice some things from my life so my children get the benefits of nursery and I get the benefits of work. I have worked as a Nursery Nurse and saw the effect that being left in childcare from 8 til 6 had on 3 yr olds, that was bad enough.

Our previous childminder works at dds nursery and used to do the drop offs and pick ups. She now goes to college most evenings so is unable to continue.

We have a good friend, in our street, who has offered to do the drop offs and pick ups next year, as dd will be going either to the same or a very near school as her dds. She is unable to offer this to us now due to her current circumstances. We also don't want to impose on her so much, to be honest.

Pillock, whoever you are, thanks for your commentary on my parenting.

HD, I fully understand your wish to have a decent career, I understand the need for both of you to work, BUT those are very long hours for a child to be in childcare of any sort. I assume you both work full time?

You need to think forward to when dd will be at school,what will you do then? She will have holidays, and days when she is ill, days when she may finish early, you are going to need to sort out childcare that is that flexible.

It's hard, we've managed by chance to find great chidlminders (a couple) who can do the school run, and take dd in holidays when required, BUT they work from 8 am till 5.30, they would be no good if we needed the hours you need.

I'm also a bit worried about the lack of continuity that your dd will get, going from home to cm to nursery to cm to home, and then straight to bed to get up early to go out again... it sounds a lot for a small child.

I agree that you need a nanny, that way at least dd will stay at home in her own environment while you are out. She could go to nursery for a few sessions if you want it.

TO be honest, I don't really want her going to a childminder. Strange house, strange peolple. I'd rather there was someone who could bring her home so she's in familiar surroundings. Previous CM did, as she worked at the nursery. Current one does, as she's a friend of the family, but her health is failing so I don't want her to have the burden long term.

It's also not really about a career. Although I'm not really in a specialist industry, there is very little work for me locally, especially not if I want to be paid anything approaching livable salary. The only place I can count on lots of work and regular pay is london. DW works full time in london also.

yes, I have to agree with tissy.

It will be SO much easier for dd to have a nanny (and then if you wanted, to do a few sessions at nursery that could count for her 'free' sessions that you get at her age).

It will also be easier for you knowing she is being looked after in your home (and covers dd's sick days etc.) because it is a long day for a little one.