My au pair manhandled my dog.... is it gross misconduct?

[MissionImplausible]

We have a camera in the house to keep an eye on the dog whilst we are at work. It's been off for a week or so but I put it back on today and it caught my au pair kicking our dog to get her out of her bed for a wee and then, when the dog didn't move, grabbing her by the collar to lift her clean off her feet and throwing her outside!!!

The au pair has been with us for over a year and knows about the camera but not that it was working again.

I am disgusted and want her out of my house straight away for what I see as gross misconduct - how can I trust her with my child (who is 10yrs old?) BUT a colleague who is playing devils advocate is suggesting a final warning is more appropriate as she has been with us for so long and we've not experienced this before (although perhaps it happens away from the doggy cam?)

Any opinions?

@Lougle - very true

Your poor dog, hope you’ve managed to dismiss her without too much upset to your family.

Have you spoken to her op?

She’s working again today! She has weekends off so no reason for me to know but means that we missed her. Thing is I need to go out first thing tomorrow to collect DD and don’t want to leave her alone with the dog (ever again) so I HAVE to talk to her this evening when she gets in (around 6ish usually) Means she won’t have much time to get her stuff together so I think I’ll offer to store her stuff to collect at a later date if that makes it easier.

I noticed someone thought the dog was on the au pairs bed... the dog was sleeping in her own bed (dog bed) in the living room. Au pair came down stairs, kicked the dog and then hauled her outside because she wouldn't get up to go outside. Dog isn't allowed up stairs.

We have treated her as a huge part of the family - we include her in anything we do and provide her with very generous weekly pocket money, a phone w contract, telly in her room with sky and Netflix etc. To me an au pair is supposed to be like a big sister to your sibling and I have always treated our au pairs like that (our previous au pair is even coming to our wedding!) and I expect her to therefore abide by the same rules and treat the rest of the family with the same respect we have for her.

Hope it goes ok when you speak to her.

You sound very considerate, more so than she probably deserves, so all credit to you.

OP you need to speak to her ASAP

Yikes, that's bad timing. Can somebody dog sit/one of you take the day off tomorrow so she can have tge notice and pack and be in the b&b with all her things in the evening without further risk to dog or your possessions?

Bloody hell, OP you are being far too reasonable, this woman kicked your dog then dragged it outside. She deserves nothing except a slap round the face

Good luck op. Not sure how you have managed to have under under your roof these past nights...

I have found that these kind of patterns of behaviour are not limited (in this case just to your dog). When someone exhibits a violent pattern of behaviour, knowing that you have a camera then this is a blatant disregard for you and your family, and is unlikely to be limited just to the dog. It's quite likely that she has outgrown the au pair role. I think you have strong enough moral grounds for immediate dismissal. So that she isn't put out into the street, I would suggest offering her a one way plane ticket back home.
Mark
Hampstead Au Pair Agency

Hope the conversation has happened and she is busy packing.

It’s done.

I made her watch the video and told her it was unacceptable and gross misconduct. She agreed with me and I cut in and explained that therefore, as per the au pair agreement we both signed, she is no longer invited to live with us. She tried to explain that she’d had a bad day etc etc but I reminded her that there is no excuse for her behaviour ESPECIALLY when she has a sole charge of my daughter.

She’s packing her stuff. I softened even more and have actually booked her into a b&b in the next town. She’s only 20 years old and I feel awful banishing her into London alone on a cold Sunday. We are about an hour from London so a long journey etc. She has two nights in the b&b and then off to a hostel or what ever she wants to do.

Thanks everyone for your support - I never in a million years expected such an overwhelming response.

Have a great week knowing that my little doggy is safe

Yeh I’d get rid

Good!

Horrible situation
Think you've handled it really well

She needs to go .

Well done OP

Well done op, been following this

Well done OP.
The whole bad day thing is BS. If you had a bad day you wouldn't come in and kick the au pair would you

Though I don't expect you to tell us, where is your ex au pair from?

The majority of the world has a very different attitude to animals than we do, even those geographically close. It amounts to a 'cultural difference', maybe.

Did she not come through an agency? Surely there's a contract and you can't just kick her out? I absolutely agree she needed to go but not with no notice and the ability to book a ticket home or find a place to stay.

Well you've been more than generous OP I just worry about the next family she gets if they have pets

You are an amazing ddog owner op!!
You have your ddog's back no question!

The majority of the world has a very different attitude to animals than we do, even those geographically close. It amounts to a 'cultural difference', maybe.

Completely irrelevant. The effect of fear and pain on the poor dog is the same. Amazed at some people here trying to minimise animal cruelty.