My au pair manhandled my dog.... is it gross misconduct?

[MissionImplausible]

We have a camera in the house to keep an eye on the dog whilst we are at work. It's been off for a week or so but I put it back on today and it caught my au pair kicking our dog to get her out of her bed for a wee and then, when the dog didn't move, grabbing her by the collar to lift her clean off her feet and throwing her outside!!!

The au pair has been with us for over a year and knows about the camera but not that it was working again.

I am disgusted and want her out of my house straight away for what I see as gross misconduct - how can I trust her with my child (who is 10yrs old?) BUT a colleague who is playing devils advocate is suggesting a final warning is more appropriate as she has been with us for so long and we've not experienced this before (although perhaps it happens away from the doggy cam?)

Any opinions?

I think the trust is clearly gone now, so you’re doing the right thing. It is kind of you to find accommodation for her too.

Hey OP chances are she most likely has been abusing your kids out of view of the camera after all that's where most animal abusers are aiming to get to. I would be very worried to have her in my home knowing any of this. Far less giving her a couple of days grace.

You’re far nicer than I am. I’d have her bags packed and on the doorstep.

You are far kinder than I would have been.

Most people who abuse vulnerable adults, children, babies, old folks started their life of abuse, being cruel to animals. How can you trust this person in your home? What a wicked cow.

However, what was the dog doing on her bed. That could be an issue for future au pair who might not want a dog in their room or on their bed.

I think you would be negligent keeping her in your home. Please dismiss her instantly.

Get rid of her. There will always be a trust issue with this person. What has she done in the past and what is she still doing while you are out.

will offer to pay for her to stay in a hostel or b&b for a few days/week so she has time to sort herself out.

Fuck that, she's hurt your dog ffs maybe even abusing it for a while, get rid of the bitch

Hepsibar, the dog was in her own bed.

You're very kind to give her notice, it'll be interesting to see if she asks for a reference.

She'd be gone ASAP

I hope her other job gives she zero contact with anything/one vulnerable...

I’m not usually one to pile in on the ‘get rid’ threads BUT, this would really upset me (and I’m more a cat lover). I’d really dislike her for this and I’d need to like the person caring for my child.

I think that's gross misconduct.

I hate that behaviour, but where is she from? Many foreign cultures have very different attitudes to dogs and she may have been raised with less of a 'treasured pet' approach to dogs. Would it be worth exploring whether that may be the case? She may just need a clear instruction on how to deal with the dog in an acceptable way and it may not reflect her dealings with children at all.

Why should an au pair be expected to deal with dog? Surely you employed her to care for your children? Get a dog sitter or arrange doggie day care and stop trying to get it thrown in on the cheap with childcare.

That’s a decent way to deal with it op

The au pair could have not taken a job that involved ddoggy care. Being an animal abuser is inexcusable..

Ridiculous comment seltaeb

The au pair should be fitting in with the family lifestyle. If she really doesn’t like dogs, she should say so, not commit a criminal act of cruelty.

God knows what she has been doing out of camera shot.

I'd put her on the first flight home. Why pay for her to stay in the UK?

Well done, OP!

Why should an au pair be expected to deal with dog? Surely you employed her to care for your children? Get a dog sitter or arrange doggie day care and stop trying to get it thrown in on the cheap with childcare.

I don't think you understand what an au pair is. They are not purely child care but are also expected to do other duties which may include elements of housework including dealing with pets. Their duties should be made clear and agreed as part of the initial agreement.

Whether dealing with the dog was an agreed part of the engagement though, "not caring for dog" does not equal "actively physically abusing it".

I would do exactly what you are doing op.

What happened op?

It was awful to read the OP. I'd feel so terrible to learn that my dog had been abused. It's also awful to read how many people would condone or excuse this behaviour for the variety or reasons listed here. Very sad.