Worried new nanny may be on drugs..

[Iloveicedtea]

Hello,

I am looking for a nanny to help care for my boy. I interviewed a lovely nanny two weeks ago, who in considering giving the job too. But I don't know... when I look at her... I'm worried she takes drugs.

Should I ask for a background check. She does not have an enhanced DBS and I told her that I will need a clear DBS before she can work with my son. Is there anything else I need to check ?

Can you not do a drug test? I mean she will be taking care of your child after all.

What on earth makes you think she takes drugs? You "look at her" and think she takes drugs? Sorry, I'm really not understanding that. Either you like her and have a good feeling about her or you don't. But jumping to "she must be taking drugs" feels like a leap. .

Of course she needs a clear DBS and you should be able to check that. Does she have references? She should and you should be able to check them by talking to them directly. You could also ask for Ofsted Registration but you would have to pay for that and I think it costs about £120

Once in your employment if you have grounds for thinking their health prevents them doing the job, then many nanny contracts prepared by nanny payroll companies include a clause about the employer being able to pay for a medical check by a doctor. That doctors report though is purely about if the person is fit to the do the job, it won't reveal their health record.

Have you spoken with her former employer? Reference checking can sometimes help reveal things about being fit for the job - such as how much time off they have had, how good they are at turning up to work on time.

Trust your gut instinct. If there is something which is telling you that someone is not suitable, then don't employ them. At this point you have not made an offer of employment so I would keep on looking.

Bling I now it must sound odd. I very much like her, but her skin looks quite... I don't know how to explain.

I have tried contacting one of the references she gave to me but can't get through. One of her references have her a good review but she's only been working there for two weeks (she said it was a new job) and her previous employment do not give out references but state when she did the job and when it finished.

I think you are being completely ridiculous on the drugs thing - you can't tell someone is on drugs because their skin is odd.

Having said that, if you don't have a good feeling, you have every right not to give her the job. This is a job that is very important, in your home and to do with your child so you have to feel 100% comfortable with the person doing it. Similarly, if you can't get decent/proper references, that's also a perfectly valid reason for not wanting to give her the job.

Sounds like you need to keep looking.

A DBS check won’t tell you if she’s a drug user.

Keep trying the references. Try to talk to families for whom she has worked in the past. Her previous employment do not give out references - perhaps it was not a nanny job?

You very much like her, so it sounds like you want this to work.

nick Yes, she has not been a nanny before.

How do you mean? Why not assume she just has bad skin? There must be something more to make you worry?
I take an anti depressant which gives me slight tooth grinding etc and so I can see how some perfectly legitimate medication could lead to misleading side effects.

Never She has this look. I can't explain. Unless she's unwell.

Try to get to speak to parents she has babysat for in the recent past. If she attends a church then someone there may able to provide a reference, especially if she helps with youth group. Try to speak with people who know her and ideally in some kind of work with children.

Everyone starts in childcare without childcare references so they rely on someone taking the chance on them.

Trust your gut feeling though, if there is something putting you off, then keep looking. You can always contact her in the future if you do not find any other suitable candidates.

I have to be honest. There is more. She was showing me pictures of her husband on her phone- and he too looked odd... as if he takes drugs too.

What a bizarre thread.

She has never been a nanny before, you can’t get decent long term references and you have a bad gut feeling. Surely you just don’t hire her rather than start a thread about whether she and her husband do or don’t take drugs. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Fuzzy Experience of someone being a nanny does not really matter to me. I had a nanny before who had lots of experience but she treated it like a job and didn't seem to care for my son.

I've interviewed lots of potential candidates and she was the best. But when I first saw her, I was a bit... oh and then she showed me a picture of her husband.. and the lack of not obtaining a reference is worrying me.

I don't know if I'm being extra cautious because I've always took on nannies who have been recommended through friends or through an agency. This is the first time in employed a nanny through an online platform.

I think experience does matter, OP. Excellent references (backed up with a phone call) also matter. If you have any doubt whatsoever about this woman you'd be crazy to take her on. Go through a reliable agency instead.

she treated it like a job
It is a job. So surely it should be treated as a job.

didn't seem to care for my son
That is a problem but is nothing to do with someone viewing the work as a job or not.

when I first saw her, I was a bit... oh
This applicant may be the best of bunch so far but trust your instincts.

It's absolutely your right to find out as much about her as possible but I think you being quiet nasty to assume she is a drug user based on her SKIN! Bloody hell, the poor woman. If you have doubts then move onto the next applicant.

rebecca it was just one of those things I notice, there were other things. I can't explain. I'm sorry if it seems I'm a bit paranoid, but I came on here to ask for advice. My sons safety comes up high on my list.

nannynick yes, at first impression. But when I spoke to her, I had this gut instinct that could she be the one. I don't know. Maybe I should move on. I have spoken directly to the company she used to work and again they clarified what she said, they are unable to give a reference... it's their policy.

I wouldn't employ somebody whose very new to the job, and unable to gain references.
I'm surprised you ask, tbh. It's your precious child, I'd want Nanny mcPhee.
As for thinking she takes drugs because you don't like her skin is bordering on unhinged.

Drabarni Thanks your right. Lack of experiences does not bother me- as you can be very experienced and be shit. My only worry is the references.

I will reiterate, it wasn't just her skin, it was other things but I cannot my finger on it. Then when I saw the pic of her husband-then when I became even more worried.

So don't employ her? What are you asking of us? We just can't tell you

You're going to let someone with no reference look after your kid?!! Absolutely ridiculous.

What exactly was wrong with her skin?

@Drabarni to be fair, Nanny McPhee's skin was pretty bad...

What kind of drugs are we talking? Uppers? Downers? Class A's? Weed? What do you reckon?

Do you even know much about drugs or what different drug users look like? Why do you think her husband is a druggie? Does he have tattoos or something?