Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

I’m a Nanna and I think I need a childminder

26 replies

JamieK · 30/11/2019 22:02

I’ve got my 11 month old grandson at the moment and I don’t mind telling you I’m struggling, he’s been through quite a bit in his little life, he’s full on and I’ve not been in charge of a small person for 20 years!

I love him more than life itself and there’s no way I’d let him go into care so I’m determined to keep him, but I’m tired and I’m struggling to keep up - do you think it would be okay to look for a child minder 1 or 2 afternoon’s a week or would that be awful after what he’s been through?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

froggers1 · 30/11/2019 22:05

Sounds perfectly acceptable to me. I was an older mum and I did this 2 morning's a week even though I didn't work

GreenTulips · 30/11/2019 22:05

I think it’s a fab idea, I think it’s like they tell you on an aeroplane - parents get your oxygen mask in first and then deal with the kids

If you can’t cope and need a rest then get some respite. You’ll be a better parent after a break.

DamnYouAutocucumber · 30/11/2019 22:05

I think finding a good childminder or nursery sounds like a brilliant idea. If it helps you provide a happy and stable home the rest of the time it'll be more than worth it.

GreenTulips · 30/11/2019 22:06

I also did it and didn’t work! I needed the peace

whyamidoingthis · 30/11/2019 22:06

Of course it wouldn't be awful. If you get a bit of time to yourself to refresh, you'll be a much better carer to him.

PotteringAlong · 30/11/2019 22:06

Completely fine

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 30/11/2019 22:06

Why would you worry about this? It sounds like you are doing a great job and that you need the break. Do you have some good CMs near you?

Lindy2 · 30/11/2019 22:16

I'm a childminder and I've had several parents book their children in with me so that they can have a rest, catch up with the housework, sleep etc. It's an absolutely fine thing to do.

Isadora2007 · 30/11/2019 22:19

Of course! You’re his full time carer and that’s a tough job no matter how old you are. If there’s obviously been a huge amount of turmoil in his wee life then yours will have been affected too- these situations never come about from an easy situation...so all the more reason you need to look after yourself too.

imoverworkedandunderpaid · 30/11/2019 22:22

My mum looked after my DC for me two days a week (till 3pm) when I went back to work. As soon as he was old enough she took him to the local (to her) pre-school for the mornings, which was perfect for both of us. DC got some time with DM and some time with other children, and DM got a break.

Griefmonster · 30/11/2019 22:25

Pull in all and any help you can get love. What you're doing is a blessing to that child and for the community. If you haven't done so already, check with your local council if there is any support for you as a kinship carer - respite, payments etc. Quite frankly you are saving them a fortune by your gorgeous grandchild not going in to care. Take care of yourself and your little one.

Florencenotflo · 30/11/2019 22:27

I've carried on sending my Dd to nursery while I'm on mat leave. She loves it but I've also needed that time to catch up on housework, sleep etc and it's been nice to have some one on one time with the baby.

It would do you both good, he will pick up good skills, learn new things, do activities you wouldn't necessarily do. You can't pour from an empty cup, you won't be any use to him if you are burnt out and knackered!

Bossybessy · 30/11/2019 22:32

Absolutely do! He’ll be okay, even if he cries when he goes at first (mine always did and they didn’t have any kind of rocky start). He’ll soon love the new routine and the new friends he’ll make. Babies and toddlers love routine and consistency.

Start searching! Don’t feel guilty.

You sound like an amazing nanna.

Chewbecca · 30/11/2019 22:35

If you can afford it, absolutely go for it. The variety of people and activities might be good for him, plus having a more refreshed Nanna afterwards.

Poppinjay · 30/11/2019 22:38

Definitely fine to get a childminder.

However, given his history, I would screen them very carefully before choosing one. They will need to be extra skilled and possibly patient so they don't compound the harm he has already suffered. Be very picky.

lisag1969 · 30/11/2019 22:43

Hi I am a childminder years of experience. Where do you live ? I have a space.
It is perfectly acceptable. X.

frankiefirstyear · 30/11/2019 22:43

Yes!! You may qualify for free funding from 2 years so that's worth looking into in case you need to get on a waiting list and/or choose a childminder/nursery who can accept 2 year funded childcare hours. I'm an older mother and it's incredibly difficult. Took me about a year of being a single parent (4-18 months old) before I began to sort out my routine and actually feel like a person who lived in my own right if that makes sense!! You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of others 😀

BackforGood · 30/11/2019 22:45

Of course you should
Talk to your / his social worker about getting funding for a regular place - be it at a CMer or a Nursery.

Not easy to start again once you are "Grandparent Age" - take all the support you can access.

holly40 · 30/11/2019 22:48

Its a good idea. You'll be a bit more rested and be in a better frame of mind to take care of him the rest of the time.

Bluerussian · 30/11/2019 23:15

Sounds fine! It will be good for both of you.

Merename · 30/11/2019 23:20

I’m assuming that a social worker placed him with you? Or is it just an arrangement with his parents? If sw involved, I’d discuss it with them. They may be able to offer respite or funding, and offer a view on the impact on him, depending on his experience. In general I’d say if he’s experienced loss in the relationship with his parents, being cared for by anyone else isn’t what he needs, but if you are really struggling it is definitely better than getting so stressed that things deteriorate. for you, babies are such hard work!

itsaboojum · 01/12/2019 09:08

Take a look at childcarechoices.gov.uk to see what help you might get with costs.

Ask the childminder if s/he can claim Early Years Pupil Premium: this gives them extra money to support your child with additional resources, staffing, training, trips, etc.

Not sure if this applies, but there was a National Insurance scheme called 'specified adult childcare credits' to help grandparents involved in childcare. Worth looking into. You’ll probably find details on moneysavingexpert.com or call HMRC.

jannier · 02/12/2019 16:23

@itsaboojum. A setting dosent claim pp if a child is eligible its automatic when theh put I parent/carers details. They can claim child in need or 2 year funding if eligible.

CarterJ32 · 04/12/2019 14:04

Sounds like a really sensible idea to me - go for it!

itsaboojum · 05/12/2019 07:07

@jannier

I should’ve said: check with the childminder if the child will be eligible for EYPP, as a lot of parents/carers aren’t aware of it.

Strictly speaking, it isn’t automatic, as I need a parent’s consent to claim it; if they don’t give consent, I’m required to indicate this on the LA's funding portal and the child then receives the funded place without the EYPP.

I had to do this for a child two years ago. The parent went on to have a big row when he started school and they claimed the EYPP without their consent.

Flip

1 2