Am I being overly anxious about hazards at CM’s house?

[YorkMum85]

I’d really love some opinions on this as I’m struggling. I am an anxious person anyway and am trying not to let it interfere with daily life, so sometimes it’s hard for me to see when I’m overreacting!

Daughter has recently turned 2 and has just started with a new childminder. She’s absolutely lovely and I think we’ll all work well together except for the issue of safety, or my perception of it at least.

There are a few large trees in the CM garden which shed small pine cones and conkers, and I’ve noticed that these don’t get cleared up that regularly, they are there for my DD to pick up (which she does). Unless the CM is on her every second of the day, I don’t understand how she can be sure this doesn’t pose a choking risk. I know it’s all part of Autumn and nature, so I’m not sure if I’m making too much fuss to expect them to be swept away every morning.

Secondly, the stair-gate has been left open twice when I’ve been there, and one time we couldn’t see my DD after she had headed in that direction, so she may well have been climbing the stairs (she wasn’t). She’s not confident on stairs yet at all and I’ve never left her near any without a stair-gate on.

I’ve mentioned these concerns twice to my CM and she’s been very kind and understanding, but the debris is still in the garden, and the stair-gate was still open when I went round this morning! Am I being over the top here? I know DD has to learn about hazards eventually, but this feels a bit too risky at such a young age..l

Any advice or experience you have on this matter is gratefully received!

My dc went to a nursery at that age that had a large garden and they also went weekly to forest school.
If the CM is able to give your dc confidence about exploring the natural world and physical challenges like stairs this has to be a positive.
If your anxiety is getting in the way of your dc being able to have some experiences it makes perfect sense to engage someone else to do that for you. You don't have to provide everything directly yourself.

I think you are being overly anxious but I think you realise that now.

I also understand what it's like to suffer with Anxiety. It's shit, it's relentless and extremely heavy to carry round. It obscures your view on what is normal and what isn't but this is where you have to listen and trust your Cm. No childcare professional would risk a child choking ever. It would be highly unusual if seven possible for a 2 year old to want to eat a pine cone, conker- possibly. Kids do some random things.

All you can do is mention it nicely - not in a 'demand' type of way and say your dd has a habit of putting things in her mouth so please can she be extra alert around the confers garden. The gate is a non issue as pp have explained. Kids need to learn, Ofsted like to see children involved in risky play as long as it's been assessed and children are learning from it.

When parents are in a Cm setting, especially for a settling in session I'd expect the parent to be in charge of their child. If you weren't watching her I'd never assume you expected me to do it while you're there.

I think it's a bit unfair to have expected the childminder to have stepped in an stopped your DD touching the conkers - firstly, because it seems fine for a 2 year old to play with conkers with two adults watching! And secondly because you were right there.

Similarly with the stairs, the CM probably just doesn't allow children to play on/up the stairs. While you were there in the house, you were the one that knew whether or not your DD was likely to go up the stairs or wasn't able to manage stairs safely - I wouldn't have expected the CM to run after her if you didn't.

Well I think I'm at the other end of the spectrum to you, but my cm never had a stairgate at all, ever. The children weren't allowed upstairs, and learnt that rule very quickly, so they didn't bother trying (I found it unusual, but it really did work, she gently but firmly moved them away from the stairs whenever they got too close).

I do understand your worry about the stairgate though. The pine cones and conkers is not a reasonable request though, that's taking things to extremes. And I would expect a 2yo to be sufficiently supervised that garden debris wouldn't be a choking hazard as they would just need to be reminded every so often not to put things in their mouths.

@homealoneagain1Think you need to read up about deaths and accidents in childcare...there are many examples of choking and hangings as well as escapes and injury in these nursery settings where you say there are more eyes to prevent it.
The eyes often are assuming others will, not thinking ahead or called to do other tasks. When there is 1 of you you know what's out who's playing where, what each need and capability is and your mortgage and existence depends on keeping them safe if your a 17 year old apprentice on £3 or so an hour possibly choosing that path rather than staying on at school to 18 other things occupy your mind.

You can not pick up every possible choking hazard from a garden unless its wall to wall paving, leaves stones twigs flowers and items dropped by birds could all be a hazard. Before allowing children out...and often in the set up before start of day when early parents are knocking on the door annoyed your not letting them in. Is the time for safety checks in and out....this includes knowing conkers are on the ground but not clearing them. Once you know what's there you are aware to observe and stop children mouthing any object innod out but you allow them to touch....many nurseries have indoor tough trays full of conkers bottle tops and other similar items.....the job is to teach children including risk management.
Stair gates are age guided by manufactures for under 2s becouse there is a potential risk of harm for older children so they should be encouraged to use stairs safely and rules/boundaries just like not climbing on tables in place.
Children must be in sight or hearing anx usually both at all times. So loan childminder comes in children come in. Most will have a safe area for when they need to be out of sight. So a room with no obvious hazards.