First time with Cm didnt go well

[Flowerpot26]

Hi! Please tell me this is normal! I'm returning to work pt soon, and I've managed to find a cm who is local and who can work around the hours I need, she is all registered and qualified, was nice and professional when first met, tho now I'm not sure, when I droped my little girl off for a settling in session, she cried which I expected, ( I left and she's told me when I picked her up) but was upset for most of it, I just don't find the cm fun/bubbly, not the type is send pictures or updates, I do believe my baby is in safe hands,im just not sure! Is that feeling enough not to send her back, my options are limited but I could manage. Or shall I press on and go take her again.
This is all so hard, shes nearly 1 if that makes a difference,
Thanks if you have got this far!

Hi, it is normal for little ones to be upset in the first few days of childcare and yes this can be all day as it’s all new to them. How long did you leave her for? I only do 2 lots of 2 hours settling in and would not be sending any text or photo updates in that time.

I'd give it a couple of weeks and then go with your gut instinct.

Oh ok, is that normal then, would you for longer days? She was there for 3 hours x

I do think he is safe and I know that is what is most important, and she had lots of positive reviews, she just didn't match up to my idea of her when I met her, I'm also nervous about my baby going out in the car with her, just as I would be with anyone, but I really don't know her at all x

Is the 3 hours the hours she will be doing all the time or being built up? If building up to full days I would leave it as she will soon bond and get used to the CM she is just missing you and needs to adjust. I do find babies who only attend for 1 day a week struggle to settle has it’s such a long time in between sessions. I don’t as a norm send texts pictures through out the day as I just don’t have the time. If I do take odd photo I send them later that night. X

Also if your baby wasn’t that settled today, maybe she didn’t take any photos? I wouldn’t take any of a baby just crying and send them to mum, that will make you feel more wretched.

The car thing is what worried me about childminders.

It is early days though. My little one started nursery in December at around the same age as yours and honestly I had such a wobble. I was convinced it wasn't the right place for him and put his name on the waiting lists for other nurseries.

Now I have realised that was more about me than about him. Anywhere you leave your little one will never be perfect. I have found I felt much better once I had a review meeting so maybe speak to the childminder in a few weeks to get some updates, photos etc and you may feel better. Sometimes everything is fine but they are just not feeding back enough to the parents.

Thanks for your replys, she's is doing a few 3 hours , the regular amount will from 5-7 hours depending on my shift, how do I know she's playing with him and being caring, if I only drop him off for a few mins, do i just go from her reviews, and not my instinct or give it time x

I would say that I would prefer my cm to be spending time looking after the children than faffing on their phone sending pics and updates. This is a modern expectation. Chikdren have been going to cms for decades without constant phone updates.

I think you’re just suffering with normal anxieties about going back to work. Of course she’s going to play and care for him, trust your judgment. You will get to know her really quickly and soon it won’t feel like you’re leaving him with a stranger but a friend. I hope you feel relaxed soon

I’d give it more time. My CM had great reviews and she seemed ok, although she had an odd way with her I couldn’t put my finger on. I said to DH that I wouldn’t be surprised if she was a swinger 😬

She turned out to be amazing, looked after DS as if her own and we used her for 9 happy years. Still in contact at Christmas now, 11 more years later.

I'm not sure what you expected in terms of fun or bubbly? Did she great you and baby warmly on arrival? Did you expect her to be laughing and jolly while telling you little one had been unsettled?, or did you expect baby to briefly cry then not miss you?