Upset with my nanny friend feeding her kids crap!

[FairyOnTheChristmasTree]

Am I being unreasonable?
My friend who is a nanny to a 2 year old boy is buying him a cone of chips or a pasty from the bakery every single day for lunch because she can't be bothered making him anything. I know her boss would be really angry as she pays her loads and is very lenient but firm, a lovely lady really and I think my friend is really pushing it. I have threatened to tell the boys mum if it carries on. Surely this stuff every single day can't be doing him any good at all? I'm so mad with her right now for neglecting her duties as a nanny especially as it is a fantastic little job she has with nice parents and the sweetest little boy.
FWIW, the little boy has a speech problem, he can't string sentences together so he can't tell him parents what he's had for dinner.

Every day is not good. But having these things on occasion I feel is fine.

Today, the children I nanny had Burger King (100% beef) burgers. I think we do this about twice a year... it's very much a treat. Usually they get far more healthy things such as cheese sandwiches, rice cakes, pasta salad, potato salad, fruit selection, fruit salad, veg rice, tuna rice, tuna pasta bake, that sort of thing.

We do go to the local craft baker more often than perhaps we should. Once or twice a week, but I find it cheaper to buy them something rather than make it. We do lots of baking at home, but when I do that, they don't just eat one - they eat many. Whereas from the baker they just eat one. It's hard to find the right balance, tend to get yeast based things from bakers, and make non-yeast things at home (muffins, flapjacks, scones, cheese straws, welsh cakes, etc).

Chips - we have these once or perhaps twice a week. Tends to be after swimming, or as a treat when out (such as today). At home I occasionally do sliced potatoes fried, though I prefer not to do much fried things at home.

I think it's totally out of order. If I were the employer, I'd be more than annoyed, I'd totally lose trust with this nanny, and find another very fast. It isn't hard to find a lunch for a 2 year old every day.

TBH, I'd also be totally outraged if my nanny (not that I have one!) took my children to Burger King as well. Even if it was only twice a year. That's twice a year too many times.

If I was the mother I would want to know. A pasty or a cone of chips is a rubbish lunch to be eating every day. i would never feed my children like that (once a month, yes, every day, no).
The mother obviously assumes her child is being well fed, when hes not. Tell your friend's employer if she doesn't stop.

Does the bakery she goes to sell sandwiches? She's being incredibly lazy.

Surely the parents must notice what's in the fridge and what has been eaten. Or what's on the dishes in the dishwasher. I can't imagine how the parents can be totally oblivious.

I would tell the mum. I'd be absolutely livid if I found out my nanny was doing that.
It isn't difficult to make a sandwich or something is it? what a lazy girl.

She would be out on her ear, if she were nannying for me. A cone of chips or pasty every day is unacceptable.
Does her employer not ask her to account for the spending of petty cash? Or does she pay for the saturated fats out of her own pocket?
She does your profession a disservice.

I thnk you should keep out of it tbh, surely a parent would ask what their kiddies had for lunch? Your friend wouldnt directly lie would she, do the parents leave food out or keep a well stocked fridge/larder?

How do you know she is doing it every day?

That is so out of order, i personally would info my boss to chat to her boss or speak to her boss myself.

HenrietteHippo, It is obvious NannyNicks family are happy for the children to visit BK twice a yr, each to there own, so there is no reason to be outraged.

The nanny actually told me she feeds them chips/pasty everyday as she can't be bothered. Parents are oblivious as their cleaner has done all the pot washing by the time they get home.

Little boy can't say anything because he has speech delay and nanny just tells mum he had ham salad sandwich or soup or pasta for lunch.

If the mother isn't bothered to ask what her kid has eaten (which would be one of the first questions I would be asking)then she probably aint bothered if he is eating this alll day every day.

If the nanny is lying to them then I would tell them.

If she is neglecting him by feeding him junk every day because she can't be bothered, I dread to think what other things she can't be bothered with as well.

IMO feeding a child as young as two that kind of junk EVERY DAY equates to minor abuse.

The mother has a right to know exactly what her child is eating. If the nanny is lying she must be pulled up straight away.

I am a bit at this tbh. Where is the money coming from? Although tbh chips or a sausage roll are quite cheap options. Have you said anything to the nanny about it?

If i fed my charges junk food I would expect to have a severe warning!

My boss is very particular (and rightly so) about a well balanced diet.

A proffesional Nanny provides well balanced, nurtitional daily meals, those who dont are

1. not proffesional 2.idiots

Think of the damage this daily junk meal is doing to him! You need to ay something to your friend. Its not acceptable.

When we drive past macdonalds or burger king or wimpey we say Eurggghhhh! do you know how much crap is in their burgers, or fat in their chips? Its not good meat, its all the crap, bones ,insides splodged together.

Gross.

bad - do tell her for the little boys sake, he needs a voice here....

What's really not OK about this is the fact that she is lying to the parents about it. What else does she lie about? I would have no issue with my DC having occasional chips or BK from a Nanny, as I would let them have them occasionally myself, but I would absolutely expect to be told the truth about what they had eaten.

As others have said, until he is old enough to tell his parents himself this little boy needs a voice and it looks (uncomfortable as it is) as though that is you.

God, I would be so, so upset if my CM was doing this. You should say something

If she is lying, I would say something. If the child has a speech delay he may have other issues where the nutrition that he gets is more important than normal. I still can't imagine being that removed from your child's care that you don't notice that they are getting junk food everyday. Perhaps the mother doesn't care anyway.

I don't think it's the worst thing in the world.there are a lot worse things she could be doing.what is she like in other ways? does she do a good job?

i think the lying is more out of order than what she is feeding him but i do think you should stay out of it tbh,unless you are a very close friend of the mother.

I would be furious. Lazy cow. How difficult is it to make lunch for a toddler?

I realise how excruciating it is for you (I loathe confrontation in RL, am a real coward) but if you can bring yourself to have a word with his mother you'd be doing him a favour IMO.

It that's too much, maybe you should tell your friend in a firm and non-jocular way that either it stops or you tell the parents. She must know it's disgraceful.

Well, to be fair SofiaAmes, if the mother asks every day what the child has had and gets a convincing answer, what more can she do? You don't hire a nanny so you can follow her around checking whether she's a bare-faced liar. I think it's just rotten luck that this nanny happens to be a workshy slovenly woman. This sort of thing is one of the reasons I would rather do my own childcare though.

If she can't be bothered to feed this child properly, can she be bothered to talk to him or play with him or help him with his speech problems? I would certainly want my nanny to be a lot more active with my child in this case. If I were you I would tell his mum, as he not getting the care he needs.