Is my aupair being cheeky? Says it is hard for her to walk 25 min each way for school run.

[blueshoes]

My first aupair (French) is starting in Aug. But I am already having doubts.

An important part of the aupair's duties is to do my dd's school run. The school is a 25 min walk away, with dd age 4 in a buggy. Now the aupair emails to says that a 25x4 walk every day is hard for her to do.

She was asking about taking a bus and having a bus pass.

I emailed her to explain that a bus would take longer (35 min+), she would still have to walk 20 mins each way (because the school is not near the bus stop), and the roads are congested in the mornings. Plus it will cost us £20 a week in bus fare. She does not seem to have taken that in (language problem?).

Is she angling for us to provide her with a bus pass or contribute to her travel costs? Or does she have a point about such a long walk? I personally have done it (old-ish and weak as I am, lol) and don't see why a young strapping 20 year old cannot.

We are paying her £65 a week allowance - which I feel is slightly above market for what is IMO quite an easy job(London).

Do any of you who are aupair employers pay/subsidise transport costs on top of allowance? Should I ditch her before she starts, as being lame?

[blueshoes]

MrsW, I meant 20 year old ap.

[blueshoes]

NAB3, I told her cleaning in my emails and over the phone. I hope she understands me. But it is all limited to 5 hours a day total (housework and childcare with a 50-50 split). So even if she thinks my house is big, she won't be cleaning it for more than 2.5 hours a day.

[blueshoes]

ok, off to get dd from her nursery. More walking

[StarryStarryNight]

I have had a few APs, there is a 25 minute walk to DS2s nursery, I have never expected the AP to walk it. I make a point of buying an bus pass on the Oyster Card, it costs £13 per week, she has travel all over London and is very happy indeed. It is a small price to pay for a happy AP. In my opinon, a happy AP is a well performing AP who is more prepared to go beyond the call of duty than an unhappy one. If the weather has been nice, she has walked, that is her call. She knows when DS2 should be in the nursery, and will herself adjust when to get up and start getting him out of bed depending on the mode of transport she is chosing.

[roisin]

I would do this amount of walking, and have done it in all weathers.

It's very hard work at the end of the day when the children are very tiredl; and also hard work when you get home if everyone is drenched!

If it's part of your culture and set-up you need an au pair who can understand and sympathise with that. Ditch her and find another one.

How far is this 25 min walk btw?

[blueshoes]

Starrynight, I will buy a travel card if it eased the journey, but it does not. She still has to walk 20 minutes to take a bus. And the whole journey takes 10 minutes longer + risk of bus being late, congestion. I explained all that to her. So the card is for all intents and purposes for ap's personal use.

I take your point that a happy au is a productive one. But when I costed how much to pay, I did not factor the card in. If I did, I would lower the pay and offer to pay for the card.

I sound so tight. geez. I am happy to pay for a card, IF she was good at her work. But not upfront before I check out the goods.

Roisin, not sure about the length of the walk. But it is a brisk 25 min walk across mostly flat landscape (I timed it many times), hills at some points.

[Twiglett]

I have to ask if its just nursery why can't you move her somewhere closer.. its pre-school

I think a 25 min brisk walk through blackheath is out of order to ask anyone other than a parent

[StarryStarryNight]

Can I ask, how many hours per day is she going to work? Do you have another child for her to look after, or is she only bringing DD to and from school? I only ask as standard AP pay is £55 per week for 5 hours per day, normally divided into 2 1/2 hours in the morning and 2 1/2 in the evening. If AP does more hours, she classifies as AP pluss, and should get more pay.

[Idreamofdaleks]

This isn't an average au pair job, it's one that involves an unusually high amount of walking. 40% of her working hours will be spend walking with a child whilst pushing another in a buggy.

You need to find an au-pair who sees this as a positive and not to employ someone who sees it as a negative, it's a horses for courses thing.

I think £65 pocket money is not much at all personally.

[sniff]

i dont see the problem really £65 a week to walk about a few hours doing jobs a roof over my head all my meals and bills paid for

dont think many people have £65 a week to spend on themselves and it sounds like if she was good at what she did the 1x school run would be covered for her + other perks

I'll come !!!!!!!

[HappyMummyOfOne]

A 25 minute walk is quite a journey to school when you have to double it to get back - however pushing a 4 yr old in a buggy across a heath for 25 mins is a tad unreasonable. I assume she will be doing the housework, ironing etc. £65 doesnt seem very much.

[blueshoes]

Twigg, the pre-school is the nursery attached to the primary school dd will attend at reception upwards. The London-thingy is that if I don't get her in at nursery, all places will be taken up by rising nursery students with no vacancies for children joining at reception. I too would kill to leave dd at her current nursery with ds attending as well.

Starry, she is asked to work 5 hours a day (25 hours a week). After the school run, her mornings are free. ds will be in ft day nursery and dd ft nursery school. Her allowance is £65 per week. She has no sole charge of ds (1 yr). I am home by 4 pm everyday. She only has to babysit dd for 30 min until i am home.

Dalek, I agree I need to get the right fit. I am assured £65 is market rate for my hours, in fact a little over market. No ap has terminated negotiations after I quoted the sum.

[blueshoes]

sniff, open arms!

[gooseegg]

Before discounting her completely I think I would try to find out exactly what it is she is worried about. It may be something as simple as her not having or being able to afford good walking boots and waterproofs. Maybe she has a health problem she hasn't told you about?
I used to do this length of round trip three times a day when mine were little, with an extra trip to the attached pre-school at lunchtimes. It was sometimes a bit of a chore, but mainly because of all the other demands on my time.
I would expect a young fit au-pair to be fine with it.

[UnConfident]

Is she supposed to push an empty buggy back home again? And then to school again??


Have you ever done this walk blueshoes? With dd in the buggy? And home again like a twat pushing the empty buggy, like someone who has lost a screw or two?


You don't need an AP, you need a skivvy!

[blueshoes]

kerrymum/happymum, cleaning, childcare, school run is the deal for aps. But hours are limited. If she is not pushing buggy, she will be cleaning, and for other families, doing laundry, ironing, cooking - though i am not requiring her to do those. But she is a firsttime ap, so may not have the full picture.

It is 5 hours a day, the rest of the time hers. I had potential applicants beating down my door to earn that £65, literally hundreds and hundreds. My email inbox was getting clogged from all the responses. I thought I made it clear to this ap, but I accept the language barrier.

[StarryStarryNight]

Blueshoes, are you SURE about the preschool primary school situation?

I am in London too. And all primary schools with preschools said that being in preschool was NOT a prerequisite for going into primary afterwords. The places are allocated FIRST to siblings of children already in school, thereafter to living in close proximity (if not a faith school), not one school I spoke to were feeding in from the schools pre-school. Might be different with your LEA, though.

[blueshoes]

thanks, gooseegg, will investigate further and offer free raincoat, walking shoes.

unconfident, she can fold the buggy and leave in school. School confirmed they will store the buggy away. And I HAVE done this walk, many many times, with ds in tow to boot (she will only have dd). In fact, even longer than 25 minutes both ways. And I have pushed an empty buggy many times as well - my choice.

[blueshoes]

starry, this is a private school. All private schools in my area seem to have this issue.

[elliott]

Free board and lodgings must be equivalent to a fair amount in London - it is completely misleading to keep saying it is £65 for 25 hours work. ALso the buggy will only be pushed for half the journeys.

I too am utterly depressed by the idea that walking (WALKING!!) seems to be viewed as some kind of arduous task - have none of you ever done really unpleasant jobs? Walking is merely moderately strenuous exercise, that will actually positively benefit you, and is even quite enjoyable. Far far preferable to cleaning, ironing, working as a care assistant, doing a routine job in a factory, or even waitressing (!) IMO, of course. But really, no wonder we are such a nation of lard arses.

But I would find someone else blueshoes - who lists sport, hillwalking or running as their hobbies!

[gess]

Agree with elliot.... TBH I'd far rather walk across Blackheath than drive. Driving across Balckheath used to be an absolute nightmare (used to do it to get to the Greenwich Steiner School many years ago; still shiver at the thought...)

[southeastastra]

would she meet other au pairs at the school, maybe she could hang around with them until it was time for the pick up or does she have to get straight back

[CarGirl]

well I do 20-25 mins 4 times a day and that is speed walking with 2 year old in buggy and often near 4 yo on buggy board. If it's a 20 min walk after using the bus walking really is the only option!