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Child persistently bitten

87 replies

nickname7890 · 01/11/2018 19:03

Hello

My daughter is 20 moths old. For last 8 weeks she has been bitten 6 times by the same child at the childminder. Twice the skin has been broken. The childminder doesn't even tell us it's happened, and we are left to discover it when my daughter is in the bath.
We have complained And the childminder blames my daughter saying oh that time she took the toy off the biter (she won't tell me who it is but I think it's another girl a bit older) or she said oh your daughter needs to learn to share as that's why she was bitten

When we complained last time she childminder then complained back about my daughter saying she pulled hair and they had to separate her and put her in a room on her own for thirty minutes ( I was shocked - who does that to a child for pushing ?!). My daughter is very energetic but in all play dates or when we go to play centres I have never seen her be troublesome but I'm not in denial about what any child can do.

The issue is - what can they do? I understand kids bite. But seriously there must be something-be vigilant when they are in same room, don't put them next to each other, ensure they speak to the other child's parents, look into counselling the biter? Is there anything else we can do?

we are expecting number 2 in a matter of weeks and I am reluctant to change my daughters childcare so close to a massive change. She smiles when we go in and doesn't cry when I pick her up so I've never seen her being unhappy but what sort of it parent would I be to keep sending her back again and again?

Please advise- I feel they aren't taking it seriously and just blaming my daughter when I do complain. Pushing is one thing- breaking the skin is another

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
AdoreTheBeach · 05/11/2018 07:55

Good luck today OP.

itsaboojum · 05/11/2018 08:51

Good luck with the meeting. Hope it goes well.

ChoudeBruxelles · 05/11/2018 09:06

I’d report your childminder for the 30 mins in a separate room

PrincessScarlett · 05/11/2018 10:18

Good luck with your meeting today OP. Let us know how you get on.

nickname7890 · 05/11/2018 11:49

Thank you so much!x

OP posts:
Slimtimeagain · 05/11/2018 15:39

Let us know what happens! Hope all ok and you've managed to sort alternative childcare.
If you're confident with your au pair then I see no reason to offer her more hours in the short term if she'd like them. Obviously you'd pay her accordingly, but I think the rule is based on using your own judgement and not taking the p**s where some people may make their au pair work loads of hours for pocket money.

HSMMaCM · 05/11/2018 15:43

I agree with checking whether the 30 minutes was a time out on her own on a step or something, or a chance for her to have a break from the biter and play with some toys in peace. Both completely different.

itsaboojum · 06/11/2018 09:55

@OP

Could you please tell us:

How long has the CM been registered?

When was her last Ofsted inspection?

What grade was she given at inspection?

Thanks

Slimtimeagain · 08/11/2018 11:08

Any update op?

NicoleRD · 10/11/2018 19:46

There is no way on this planet my child would be returning to said CM.

30 minute time out?! Your child coming home being bitten?!

The answer is as plain as day.

Rhiannon13 · 26/11/2018 17:50

Isn't 'time out' supposed to be 1 minute per year of age? I very much doubt it's an effective way of managing behaviour in a 20 month old anyway, especially when it's another child that's at fault. All this did was ensure the childminder could guarantee herself 30 minutes where she could carry on ignoring the kids (or at least not managing them effectively) safe in the knowledge there wouldn't be any more bite marks to explain. Can you sure this isolation was a one-off incident? I wouldn't be taking her back because the biting is very unlikely to be the whole story, it's just the part you've noticed because it's a physical mark. Sorry OP.

Rhiannon13 · 26/11/2018 17:57

Just seen this is a few days old, sorry! Hope you got it sorted OP.

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