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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

What do you think about this and what would you do?

58 replies

SassyS89 · 06/10/2018 12:34

A bit of background (Apologies in advance for the long post!)...so I have two young children now aged 3 and 5, and up until end of August they were in the care of a childminder who they had been with since they were both babies. The cm had a great relationship with all of us and we saw her and her family as our second family. End of June she dropped a bombshell that she was retiring at the end of the year, but as my son was originally going to go to the school her husband did pick-ups/drop-offs to, that meant he would have to transfer to another school at the end of the year so it was decided to transfer him before the new term started and find a new cm that did pick-ups/drop-offs to the new school.

The cm recommended another cm who the kids already knew of and the new cm was the only one with spaces so I did not have much choice but to go with her as I was on borrowed time. However, she did not want to take on any new kids until beginning of September and after she came back from annual leave (no problem with this). Before the kids started she mentioned to the previous cm that I should consider putting the kids in breakfast club/after school club (I did wonder why she would suggest this before she had even started looking after the kids). I had to change my working hours to accommodate the new cm hours. The kids started the new cm at the end of august and settled in well but only lasted two weeks...

Now for the issue...when the kids started I was not sure if my daughter was going to go full time or part time as she was originally going to go part time but full time worked out financially better due to the 30 free hours, but we wasn't sure if her nursery had any full time places left and I couldn't find out until she started nursery in September, and because of this she was adamant she did not want to write up a contract as she did not want to "write up a contract for a month then write up a whole new contract". I explained that in order for me to get my tax credits to help pay her I will need a contract and she still did not want to write one up. All of a sudden she then decided to write up a contract but some of the info (costs/dates) was incorrect or was not clear so I refused to sign it. This happened on two occasions so I did not end up having a contract for the two weeks the kids were there. After stating that I'm not going to sign it until all the info is correct, her response was "well you was the one who wanted a contract so it's up to you". Due to this and some other things we clashed a lot and did not see eye to eye so had a few heated discussions.

As myself and ex-p were not happy with the way things were going with the new cm we thought about placing the kids in breakfast club and the cm would only have to pick up. I asked her (by text) how much it would be for pick-ups only and she replied back saying that I should put the kids in breakfast club/after school club as she was not happy with the way things were going and that she would take my kids for the following week. A couple weeks later she asked me when I would be paying her, and I told her the money that was meant for her has gone to the school as you have to pay at least a week in advance, so I would have to pay her installments. She was not happy with this and stated I was a "pisstaker" and how it's "not her problem and that I should have sorted it out before". I explained that the school is now the priority and she was the one who made herself no longer a priority, not me. I never once said I will not pay her.

Since then, she has messaged me saying "she wants her money asap" and that "her patience is running out". I feel she has been very unprofessional from the beginning and I want to make a complaint but I'm not sure if anything would be done. What would you do? (Apologies for the long post!)

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nannynick · 06/10/2018 15:06

What was the agreement regarding payment? I would assume that was discussed prior to your children attending at all. Many providers these days will charge in advance, so did that not happen? Is the payment for the two weeks of care, for a notice period, or both?

MummySharkDoodoododoo · 06/10/2018 15:19

Sorry but you should have paid her when the payment was due. That is her wages!

user1483387154 · 06/10/2018 15:22

You are cf for not paying her.

PrincessScarlett · 06/10/2018 15:28

By not having a contract in place the CM has been very stupid as you could argue that there is no contract with her so you owe nothing.

Most CM have a contract in place before children start attending and want payment in advance.

The correct thing to do is pay her for the service she has provided although unsure how she can enforce this without a contract.

In her defence though you do seem to have chopped and changed and refused to sign the paperwork without discussing any issues with her so she probably suggested the breakfast and after school clubs as a way of getting rid of you because she could see problems ahead.

Twickerhun · 06/10/2018 15:33

It sounds like you accept that you owe her money - therefor you must pay her. Not her fault you’ve spent it elsewhere.

Waitingonasmiley42 · 06/10/2018 15:41

She does sound unprofessional, but you are unbelievably rude for not paying her. Would you walk out a supermarket without paying for things? It’s no better than theft!

PrincessScarlett · 06/10/2018 15:41

Also, not sure you have any cause for complaint as CM has done nothing wrong except fail to protect herself by not having the paperwork in place. She has only got arsey with you because you have not paid her.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 06/10/2018 15:44

Who do you plan on complaining to? And what exactly about? I think you’re a CF tbh and have got a right cheek complaining when you owe her money!

NorthernRunner · 06/10/2018 15:44

I think (as a childminder myself) you have both made fundamental errors. She should have drawn a contract up prior to your children starting and you should have paid her on time.

SassyS89 · 06/10/2018 15:47

There was not much discussion about anything because everything was such a rush. She went on annual leave for a couple weeks and then the kids started straight after. Admittedly, there should have been discussions and we had been in contact, but she had not told me to come over to discuss anything so there was nothing in place but I've NEVER once said I won't pay her only that I'll have to pay her in installments now (I wouldn't have had to if she was still looking after the kids)

I have every intention of paying her but in my opinion if I have to pay the school in advance then that has to take priority now the kids are in their care. I'm not going to sign a contract that isn't correct and I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't either. Had the contracts been correct I would have signed them with no problem.

She first suggested the clubs BEFORE she looked after the kids which is why I was puzzled.

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IsTheRainEverComingBack · 06/10/2018 15:48

You have to pay her for the time you used! Whatever happened later you still used her for that time and you owe her the money. I can’t think why you’d think she doesn’t need paying,

Those saying who do you complain to, you’d complain to Ofsted. Childminders are meant to be Ofsted registered and if OP is claiming credits for childcare this one definitely will be.

insancerre · 06/10/2018 15:49

You should pay her what you owe her
You have also messed her around by changing your requirements
I'm not surprised she wanted rid

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 06/10/2018 15:49

What did you do with the money that should have been paid to the cm?

NorthernRunner · 06/10/2018 15:50

No point complaining to OFSTED, they aren’t in the least bit interested with contractual issues, only the children’s well being.

SassyS89 · 06/10/2018 15:50

For those who don't know what my issue is, it's to do with her language towards me which I feel is unprofessional. Like I said, I've never once said I won't pay her and there wasn't a specific date to pay her but I would have paid on the day I got paid which is what I normally do

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GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 06/10/2018 15:51

For all parents reading this thread: THIS is why settings asked for money up front / hefty deposits / refuse childcare / charge late payment fees! There are more cheeky fuckers out there than you’d imagine!

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 06/10/2018 15:52

Again, who are you going to complain to about her language?

SassyS89 · 06/10/2018 15:53

insanc - what requirements did I change?

georgie - I paid the money to the school as they had to be paid in advance for the clubs

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GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 06/10/2018 15:56

I mean whilst your children were at the childminder, not once you moved them.

SassyS89 · 06/10/2018 15:59

IsTheRain - I've never once said or thought she doesn't need paying! I said I would have to pay her in installments due to paying the school but she said no

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AfterSchoolWorry · 06/10/2018 16:03

You can't decide paying her in installments is ok. She provided the service, you have to pay. Your arrangements with the new childcare are not her concern.

I can't just go into a restaurant, eat the dinner and try to pay in installments after I eat the food!

titchy · 06/10/2018 16:04

I wonder if Tesco's allows customers to pay in instalments when they prioritise paying their rent....

SassyS89 · 06/10/2018 16:06

Georgie - I would have been paying monthly as I get paid monthly not weekly. The kids were there for 2 weeks and as I hadn't been paid I hadn't yet paid her. So when I did get paid I had to pay the school as the kids were starting the clubs the week after

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Starlight345 · 06/10/2018 16:06

Imagine if you got paid in instalments.

This isn’t working. I personally never take anyone on without a contact if there were errors I would of say with you and worked it out.

Your financial issues are not hers . Just because situation has changed still not her issue.

This will never work between you.

As for complaining . Nothing to complain to Ofsted about . No care issues

SassyS89 · 06/10/2018 16:08

I paid my previous childminder in installments and it was never a problem, so some allow it, some don't.

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