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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

What do you think about this and what would you do?

58 replies

SassyS89 · 06/10/2018 12:34

A bit of background (Apologies in advance for the long post!)...so I have two young children now aged 3 and 5, and up until end of August they were in the care of a childminder who they had been with since they were both babies. The cm had a great relationship with all of us and we saw her and her family as our second family. End of June she dropped a bombshell that she was retiring at the end of the year, but as my son was originally going to go to the school her husband did pick-ups/drop-offs to, that meant he would have to transfer to another school at the end of the year so it was decided to transfer him before the new term started and find a new cm that did pick-ups/drop-offs to the new school.

The cm recommended another cm who the kids already knew of and the new cm was the only one with spaces so I did not have much choice but to go with her as I was on borrowed time. However, she did not want to take on any new kids until beginning of September and after she came back from annual leave (no problem with this). Before the kids started she mentioned to the previous cm that I should consider putting the kids in breakfast club/after school club (I did wonder why she would suggest this before she had even started looking after the kids). I had to change my working hours to accommodate the new cm hours. The kids started the new cm at the end of august and settled in well but only lasted two weeks...

Now for the issue...when the kids started I was not sure if my daughter was going to go full time or part time as she was originally going to go part time but full time worked out financially better due to the 30 free hours, but we wasn't sure if her nursery had any full time places left and I couldn't find out until she started nursery in September, and because of this she was adamant she did not want to write up a contract as she did not want to "write up a contract for a month then write up a whole new contract". I explained that in order for me to get my tax credits to help pay her I will need a contract and she still did not want to write one up. All of a sudden she then decided to write up a contract but some of the info (costs/dates) was incorrect or was not clear so I refused to sign it. This happened on two occasions so I did not end up having a contract for the two weeks the kids were there. After stating that I'm not going to sign it until all the info is correct, her response was "well you was the one who wanted a contract so it's up to you". Due to this and some other things we clashed a lot and did not see eye to eye so had a few heated discussions.

As myself and ex-p were not happy with the way things were going with the new cm we thought about placing the kids in breakfast club and the cm would only have to pick up. I asked her (by text) how much it would be for pick-ups only and she replied back saying that I should put the kids in breakfast club/after school club as she was not happy with the way things were going and that she would take my kids for the following week. A couple weeks later she asked me when I would be paying her, and I told her the money that was meant for her has gone to the school as you have to pay at least a week in advance, so I would have to pay her installments. She was not happy with this and stated I was a "pisstaker" and how it's "not her problem and that I should have sorted it out before". I explained that the school is now the priority and she was the one who made herself no longer a priority, not me. I never once said I will not pay her.

Since then, she has messaged me saying "she wants her money asap" and that "her patience is running out". I feel she has been very unprofessional from the beginning and I want to make a complaint but I'm not sure if anything would be done. What would you do? (Apologies for the long post!)

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Tanith · 10/10/2018 09:54

What do I think about this?
I think you have assumed an awful lot of liberties that should have been properly agreed right from the start. That includes those installments you’ve foisted upon her.

What would I do?
I would apologise and I would pay her in full immediately because I would know I was in the wrong.

gothefcktosleep · 10/10/2018 11:55

It’s amazing to me that almost every response here says the OP is being a CF and yet somehow she’s continuing to argue and try to justify her CFery.

People like the OP are just exhausting.

You’re in the wrong honeybuns, get over yourself.

tictac86 · 10/10/2018 12:03

Pay her. You sound entitled and rude. I would be annoyed with you

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 10/10/2018 12:54

The bill can’t even be that big?

Susan75 · 11/10/2018 21:29

Could someone please tell me if I'm over reacting? My mother in law calls my 15 mth a bully. She says it playfully to her if my baby tugs her hair or accidentally scratches her. I feel I should say something. I don't want my daughter to think the word bully should be used lightly as she gets older.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 11/10/2018 21:32

I think you need to start a new thread... this has nothing to do with childminders...Confused

Mehaveit · 11/10/2018 21:41

My cm invoices me at the end of the month for care given that month and I pay her the day after I get paid.

My DD's afterschool club makes me pay in advance or I can't book her in.

I think the cm was never really up for it and laid herself open to this happening.

That said I think you could have handled it better by not messing her around and making her feel like she's your bottom priority (after nursery and school)

piscis · 25/10/2018 13:18

I am not a childminder, but to the childminders reading this...I feel your pain

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