Should I take my child out of preschool???

[pixiebell79]

I'm really struggling to work out what to do - my 3 year old has been going to preschool since November and has been enjoying it. From Easter he has been suddenly having severe temper tantrums about going, and we have tried everything. We now have a situation where he no longer screams and claws at the door, but frequently cries and/or seems resigned. He's been away for 3 weeks (half term + holiday, and I didn't want to send him for the week in between as thought it would unsettle him and he could do with the break). He doesn't want to go back. He's happy there as long as I stay, but he keeps talking about not wanting to be around a boy who has previously bitten and hit him on a playdate separately (they attend the same preschool). We only have a few weeks of term left, but we're likely to move in the next few months, so a change of nursery is inevitable, but I'm not sure I can deal with him 7 days a week without a regular break. What should I do?! Am I being emotionally played by a 3 year old, or does he really need to be with me right now until he's ready to deal with other children being boisterous? I am a SAHM, so I have the option to just keep him home, just don't want to pander to wants rather than needs...

I'd take him out. He sounds unhappy.

I'd take him out too

Am I being emotionally played by a 3 year old
Your son is trying to tell you something. Would you be happy to be left somewhere where somebody else is likely to bite and hit you? And even when you have told somebody you are still dragged there screaming every day? And then you give up screaming because nobody listens to you??

I wouldn't necessarily take him out.

Have you talked to the staff? You can find out what he's like after you leave and ask them to keep an eye on the two boys.

My DS has to be pried off my leg some days but as soon as I'm out of sight is as happy and plays with his friends. He just doesn't like the actual leaving bit.

The staff at his are fantastic though, if they weren't as good I wouldn't be as happy leaving him.

Poor little boy - please take him out! He's made it very clear that he's unhappy and as his Mum you need to put his emotional well being first.

Think you've confirmed what I was feeling, but I've had a lot of people saying it was a 3 year old vying for control (it's only in the last few weeks that he's been referring back to this incident). But I was trying to work out whether I should try to help him navigate dealing with someone he doesn't like rather than just pull him out. But I think I'll be putting our notice in this week and he'll be with me for the rest of the summer/year. I'll try to line up some (heavily supervised!) playdates with some other children so he still gets to play with them.

Flavia yes, we've had lots of chats and they've been super supportive. He's fine a few minutes after I leave, and enjoys himself, and I've seen this for myself too. But during the 3 weeks he was out he's been a much lovelier and more settled child than I've seen for a while, so I've been really torn. I think deep down I knew during those 3 weeks that I should take him out.

Ah, in that case, you know you're making the right choice

You can always use a babysitter for few hours a week to give yourself a break. He'll probably be ok with a one to one situation without too many other children.

Enjoy your year with him find some toddler groups and classes and have fun they are not babies for long and school lasts years.

Does anyone have any advice about primary schools in redhill/Earlswood (Surrey) area? Any to avoid?

Best to start a new thread with that in the title @Symmetry5, you'll get more chance of an answer.

Thanks, I posted it in the wrong part.....!!

Find a different preschool.

Am I being emotionally played by a 3 year old
Your son is trying to tell you something. Would you be happy to be left somewhere where somebody else is likely to bite and hit you? And even when you have told somebody you are still dragged there screaming every day? And then you give up screaming because nobody listens to you??

^^ Just this. I removed my then 2 .5 yr old from a nursery and placed her with a childminder. Different child within one session.

Why do people think 3 yr olds feelings aren't valid? Is he starting school in Sept though?

If you are able to spend time with him and take him out and about to meet other children and see interesting things (museums, forests, lakes, etc), then just enjoy the year with him before he starts school. He may be more ready for it next year.