NannyCam and our Male Nanny (Manny)

[foursacrowd]

NannyCam and our Male Nanny (Manny):
Well, the brief story is that ATM we have a male nanny, since the difficult arrival of DD. Excellent references, married and a clear background check. No problems on the face of it, but we were curious to see what he was doing with our DS2 and DD1 every day.
A friend of mine put together two tiny camera systems that activated when someone came into the room, and we hid it one downstairs and one in the children's bedroom. They were in for about 6 weeks, and DH and I watched highlights in the evenings.
What we saw was a days packed with love and activity, total attention and consistency. It had never even entered our mind about the possibility for any perversion on his part, so it came as no surprise that we had not employed a Paedophile, contrary to many of the stereotypes on mumsnet! We also discovered why the house is sometimes a bombsite, he prefers to direct his attentions to our DS and DD rather than domestics (which he can do to perfection).
So here is the problem. I feel guilty as hell that I thought to do this, especially as I have seen truly outstanding work that I really did not appreciate beforehand. But where do I go from here? I now value him more than ever, but feel that I have betrayed the trust relationship. Should I tell him? My DH also now feels aquard talking to him, maybe something to do with his insecurities.
What did we expect to see, and why did we do it? I don't know. Everything was perfect before, but it has turned into one big f**K up.
Any thoughts greatly welcomed!

this wasn't fair and not nice in my books but to lie to him you will just feel guilty ( i hope )all the time, wouldn't u rather just get it off ure chest, and be done with it and expect the worse. But i thought that's what CRBs are for did u not get him to do this and they r helpful if they get one every year, he can ease people times

I'm surprised the op had these cameras in for 6 weeks and carried on watching them back that is an awfully long time..

I would have thought a couple of days more than enough to satisfy your curiosity

unless you were hoping to "catch him"

So, how much for the cameras?

(just kidding)

how wud people like it, if the nannies put cameras around in hiding places where u culdn't see them,and the parents were being filmed, how wud u feel and not knowing that ure being watched. dnt really think it's a laughing matter,mean people r gettn accused of all things now and quite a few have been innocent

Oh, lighten up, Daisy.

And learn to type in English.

I can see exactly why you did it...but I'd never tell him. Wipe it from your memory and get on with enjoying that you can leave your children with confidence. Don't alleviate your own guilt by burdening him with it - he doesn't need to know.

If an employer of mine ever filmed me without my consent I'd leave in a second!

lol at 'weirdy weirdy do you wear crocs'

I think it was a terrible thing you did. An invasion of his privacy. Really, really awful.

Why on earth would you want to tell him now though? he would probably leave in a shot and could also take action against you.

Get over what you have done. Don't take it out on him. Just live and learn to respect others a litte bit more.

lighten up{shock} i wouldn't be too impressed if a family had filmed me,so people would be fine if they were filmed mmmm? It annoys me because people are putting behind bars when they r innocent, also people try to catch people out.

yeh it's late i'm tired and the end doesn't make sense.

that's MUCH better (daisy)
foursa crowd...... maybe he did know all about the cameras??....... mwa ha ha ha ha.

hahahahahaha

fours a crowd
Please note
your child is your prime concern. Should things have gone wrong then the political correct types on this thread who are critizing you, would have professed profound sympathy for your situation some of them may have been outraged by what had bappend to you and wrote and told you so BUT.........................................at the end of the day, may be the week, they will return to their lives and carrying on as normal, whilst you on the other hand, are left to clear up the mess, which could last a long long time. So my advice to you is *K the politically correct and the politically outraged, feel no guilt and focus on number 1 your child/children

Best wishes

no but edna what do you REALLY think?

I feel if you have/had any serious concerns or worries about a Nanny you should get rid!

Camera's are so wrong!

for whom Scottish thistle certainly not for the child.
tooooooooo many children who have been traumatised adults can mend children not so easy surprised i had to advise you of that

Don't tell him unless you want him to leave. I can't believe you did it. If you had any doubts you should never have employed him. To invade someones privacy like that makes me feel quite sick actually.

agree with u nogoes,people are old enough to decide wether they should be doing this that and the other,if there were inclines and strange things goin on then i wudnt be saying anything, it's the fact people r doing this when they dnt flipping need to

edna your post makes no sense to me sorry!

I think the only reason for putting a camera in is if the child has maybe unexplained bruises or starts to exhibit different troubling behavior. Then as a parent i would consider it but if there were no problems and your child is happy and you have a great relationship with your nanny and get lots of feedback about their day then i am appaled that you did this. I am with Scottish Thistle on this one i would leave immediatly. Then look in to legal action if that was a possibility.

lol at edna

don't have a clue what your post is about.

Have you been drinking?

quietmouse that's exactly what I was thinking!

I think Edna's post makes sense. It is wrong to tape an employee secreyly. But, on the other hand, we all do whatever it takes to protect our kids.

I have never set up a nanny camera and am not inclined to do so in the future. But, if I had any doubts about my children's safety I would certainly do everything in my power to protect them... legal or not.

Edna is just saying if something had been revealed on this tape, then the posters on this thread would all be singing a very different tune.

Sorry but I think if you have any doubts/worries re your childcarer you should sack them & move on!

"We were curious to see what he was doing with our child every day"

Why not just say to the Manny "Would you mind if we set up a camera so we can watch a bit of what our child's doing in the day?"

I'm not saying it was right to put the camera in. I'm just saying Edna's post was logical and she has a point to make.

Personally, I tink if you are the sort of person who feels they need a nanny camera, then a nanny is perhaps not the right childcare for you. When you employ a nanny you have to step back and let her/him have some control. And if you can't bear to trust that control, then you should probably reconsider your decision to employ a nanny at all.

However, I disagree that you should sack your nanny because you suspect something is going wrong. You should not sack any employ until you know for sure that they have done something wrong. It would be irresponsible to go round firing people on suspicion alone.