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CM club: should i phone social services?

113 replies

dmo · 23/02/2007 18:34

i know it always happens to me
and being a cm i cant bounce off anybody i am the key person the child protection officer of my setting.
anyway i have an 8yr old boy (quite grown up for his age) he lives with his mum and his uncle (uncle has problems has a mental age of 15yrs)
so the mum has a new boyfriend and has been with him 8 mths he lives in Kent (about 5 hrs drive away) mum goes down most weekends on her own to visit boyfriend and leaves her son with his uncle.
last weekend mum took son to kent and on monday she was really cross with him when she dropped him off because he had embrassed her (didnt ask what he had done)
anyway mum picked son up on monday night all smiles as she had just booked to go to america for 2 weeks in march with boyfriend without son.
she drops son off this morning and tells me uncle is picking son up from me tonight as she is going to france for the weekend with boyfriend.
this got me thinking as i know uncle works nights.
so i asked 8 yr old if uncle still worked at night and he said yes, so i said who looks after you at night and he said he stays at home alone (uncle works from 9pm till 6.30am) i asked what he does and he said he has to stay in bed.
now i know this is all hearsay from an 8 yr old boy but the way he told me its as if it happens alot.
do i take what a 8yr old tells me (after all uncle could have booked time off work, or they have a neighbour/friend come over to look after him)
i did try to talk to uncle when he picked the 8yr old up asking if he had booked time off work but he really is like a child (get more sence out of the 8yr old) so i didnt get very far

just tell me your veiws cant really talk to anybody about this

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pinkandsparkly · 24/02/2007 09:57

Alarm bells are well and truely ringing for me too I'm afraid. I know that all you have to go on is the word of and 8 year old boy but this is not 'my friend pushed me,' this is something you cannot afford not to act upon. If it all turns out ok and his mother has made proper provision for her son's care, then fine, but if he is going to be left alone this is neglect and the police/ss need to know.

Not a nice situation for you to be in at all, I hope it all works out ok but I'm glad this little boy has a lovely person like you to worry about him.

smeeinit · 24/02/2007 10:43

goosegg, my 14 and 16 yr olds are great with caring for children BUT i wouldnt leave an 8yr old with them for the weekend ................would you?!

bambi06 · 24/02/2007 10:56

what is happening then when the mother is away for two weeks? im afraid it sounds that the mothers boyfriend is more important to her than her son if she is away every weekend and planning trips away too, it sounds as though she s trying to live her life as a single mother..im not being judgemental but given the facts this is what it feels like for me..my dc would come first before another relationship and then they would be involved too...if the boyfriend isnt keen then id not want to know him!!! how capable too is the uncle? would he be able to cope in an emergency do you think? do you have the child all through the school hols too?

cazzybabs · 24/02/2007 11:11

I think you have a legal (if not moral) obligation to report this. Certianlly, as a teacher I do - I don't know if it the same for CMs, but think how awful you would feel if something did happen. Also if the uncle has the mental age of a 15 year old should be left in charge of an 8 year old for 2 weeks. Not far on him either!

We reported something to social servies - nothing was done about it but it was all anomous.

cazzybabs · 24/02/2007 11:14

Sprry = pressed sent to early. My point is report it and let SS decide if they want to investigate it. You have done your bit.

crace · 24/02/2007 11:14

How are things today, dmo?

gooseegg · 24/02/2007 11:21

smeeinit - no I wouldn't, but this uncle is by all accounts an adult. It is very subjective to state that someone has a mental age of 15. If he has the ability to hold down a job he may be more capable than he is given credit.
The fact to address as a childcarer is that a child has made a disclosure that he is being left alone.
Personally I would talk to the parent first before contacting social services.

NurseyJo · 24/02/2007 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Fingerscrossed2007 · 24/02/2007 12:25

I really think you have to report this to social services. This child should be being left in the care of a responsible adult. You have more then enough concerns to warrant a formal report. Left alone the situation will not magically improve - and may get worse.

franyfroo · 24/02/2007 15:26

at a recent child protection course we were urged to report anything like this imediatly to ss. it is your duty as a cm.

PeachyClair · 24/02/2007 16:01

NSPCC are helpful on this- I had a situation with my friend and when I chatted it through with them I realised that it wasn't enough (but other stuff has happened since and we called the appropriate poeple to help- friend is abused as well, by dad).

My CP training was done by SS and we were told to ALWAYS call- its not worth the risk and that is true I believe. They're good at assessing situations,a far better than people think- in fact they under react if anything ( in some cases ime).

Horrid for you, but at least someone who cares knows, and he must trust you tto tell you. Be deserving of that trust

StrawberrySnowflakes · 25/02/2007 19:46

DMO, What happend then?

dmo · 25/02/2007 22:31

i phoned the local police on friday night and explained the situation but have not heard back from them
they took my number

going to talk to 8 yr old tomorrow to c if anything happened then have a word with mum

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dmo · 26/02/2007 21:01

8 yr old not come in today (very unlike him) mums mobile is turned off

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Aloveheart · 26/02/2007 21:03

oh dear. hope you hear something soon.

StrawberrySnowflakes · 27/02/2007 08:20

do you have another contact for him??

can you ring police to see if anything was done at weekend?

shes prob still on holiday and poor child is prob still in bed

sweetbean · 27/02/2007 08:28

hope everything is ok poor littel mite !!

dmo · 27/02/2007 09:13

he came today mum was poorly yesterday will tell you details later just thought i would let everyone know he is ok

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Aloveheart · 27/02/2007 09:19

That's good .

StrawberrySnowflakes · 27/02/2007 10:23

so was anything mentioned??..has little boy said anything or mum?

dmo · 27/02/2007 10:52

just phoned ss
boy came back today said he was left on friday and saturday (didnt mention the police) said his mum had got special medcine to knock him out which his uncle gave him
felt sick at this news so phoned ss and they told me to phone the police

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StrawberrySnowflakes · 27/02/2007 10:54

oh FGS, that poor child!..are ss coming round? have you spoke to the mum?, have you rang police? ..ermm..shit hun!..does the LO tell stories(i hope to god he does!) or do you think this is 100%

quietmouse · 27/02/2007 10:54

at 'special medicine to knock him out'

well done to you. Hopefully things will get resolved one way or another now

StrawberrySnowflakes · 27/02/2007 10:56

on a whole new level, if he was 'knocked' out and there was say..a fire..he wouldnt have made it would he!

dmo · 27/02/2007 10:57

ss said it could be calpol and no they are not coming round
they said next time i am sure the child is being left alone i should phone police and they will investigate
i am not impressed i was shaking like a leaf on the phone

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