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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

CM club: should i phone social services?

113 replies

dmo · 23/02/2007 18:34

i know it always happens to me
and being a cm i cant bounce off anybody i am the key person the child protection officer of my setting.
anyway i have an 8yr old boy (quite grown up for his age) he lives with his mum and his uncle (uncle has problems has a mental age of 15yrs)
so the mum has a new boyfriend and has been with him 8 mths he lives in Kent (about 5 hrs drive away) mum goes down most weekends on her own to visit boyfriend and leaves her son with his uncle.
last weekend mum took son to kent and on monday she was really cross with him when she dropped him off because he had embrassed her (didnt ask what he had done)
anyway mum picked son up on monday night all smiles as she had just booked to go to america for 2 weeks in march with boyfriend without son.
she drops son off this morning and tells me uncle is picking son up from me tonight as she is going to france for the weekend with boyfriend.
this got me thinking as i know uncle works nights.
so i asked 8 yr old if uncle still worked at night and he said yes, so i said who looks after you at night and he said he stays at home alone (uncle works from 9pm till 6.30am) i asked what he does and he said he has to stay in bed.
now i know this is all hearsay from an 8 yr old boy but the way he told me its as if it happens alot.
do i take what a 8yr old tells me (after all uncle could have booked time off work, or they have a neighbour/friend come over to look after him)
i did try to talk to uncle when he picked the 8yr old up asking if he had booked time off work but he really is like a child (get more sence out of the 8yr old) so i didnt get very far

just tell me your veiws cant really talk to anybody about this

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moopymoo · 27/02/2007 10:57

this is awful dmo, have you tried the boys school? they might have more formal systems in place for what is obviously a child protection issue.

StrawberrySnowflakes · 27/02/2007 10:58

that is appaling, i would ring back and ask to speak to someone superior, he is 8 FGS, are they going to let this one slip through the net too??!!!

StrawberrySnowflakes · 27/02/2007 10:59

"could have been calpol"!!..so dont they give a f*ck??..could have also been heroine!!!

kittylette · 27/02/2007 10:59

id definatly ring SS, it sounds as though the uncle may not be competant to mind the boy during the 2 weeks anyway, add to that the fact he may be left alone during the night - hardly an ideal situation

Original poster

dmo · 27/02/2007 10:59

yes spoke to class teather on friday and she said i must have all the facts b4 i phone ss but blow it i was to shocked at todays news to care.
might have a word again with all this new info
feels like nobody cares

OP posts:

quietmouse · 27/02/2007 11:01

that is a disgrace. No wonder there are so many tragedies with abused children

if I were you I would phone the police back and also ss and demand to speak to the manager of children's services. That really is appalling. Make sure you tell them about all his past comments as well, and about the uncle's learning disability, not just the incident with the medicine.

Original poster

dmo · 27/02/2007 11:02

told them the whole story but very unhappy with ss reply
told police whole story on friday aswel

does a child have to die b4 something is done?

OP posts:

ScottishThistle · 27/02/2007 11:03

Poor wee man, I hope he gets the help he obviously requires!

Sorry but I am going to judge the Mother, she's a selfish bitch!

quietmouse · 27/02/2007 11:03

did you speak to the duty social worker? You could always phone back and say you are not happy with their response and want to speak to the manager?

mumto3girls · 27/02/2007 11:05

I am appalled that SS are not interested! I would phone back, take their name and say you will write to their manager reporting their terrible lack of concern. Better still - stay on phone and speak to manager!!!

When is this fortnight holiday happening?

Original poster

dmo · 27/02/2007 11:08

she goes on hols 8th March back on 24th March
feeling really dont know what i expected but its more than this

anyway i will phone police again on friday, i will wait till then
if nothing happens i will be phoning managers

OP posts:

quietmouse · 27/02/2007 11:11

not trying to tell you what to do, but I really think as you have already started the ball rolling this morning and it is still fresh in the mind of the people you have spoken to, you should phone back this morning and demand to speak to someone in authority. Their response is just not good enough.

jambomum · 27/02/2007 11:12

This is one of the most disturbing and upsetting things I have read on this website. What if the boy doesn't sleep - will the mother/uncle just keep giving more 'medicine' until he does. Calpol can overdose too.
You must pursue this further with police and ss. Also NSPCC, they should be told too.
I am so heartened to hear of a cm that is clearly doing a great job. (We had an awful experience with one and had to remove ds) so keep up the good work..

ScummyMummy · 27/02/2007 11:15

The boy was left alone on both Friday and Saturday night and social services are not concerned? I'm really astonished at that response. I would put your concerns in writing to the manager, I think. Or perhaps you should try the NSPCC?

mumto3girls · 27/02/2007 11:24

Please ring them back today DMO - then they may be able to guarantee resources to visit on Friday....and like another poster said - it's still fresh in their minds. If you ring back they may take you more seriously.

StrawberrySnowflakes · 27/02/2007 11:53

i cant believe they are acting like theyre on the mother(and i use that term losely)side!..DMO you def need to ring ss back and demand a mamgerm god knows what is happening to that poor lad at home and although very difficult, you maybe should speak to the parent reg what he has told you?..i would ring ofsted too, see if they can advise or back you up?

NurseyJo · 27/02/2007 11:59

This reply has been deleted

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NurseyJo · 27/02/2007 12:00

This reply has been deleted

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quietmouse · 27/02/2007 12:03

I may be wrong but I think if you feel the child is in immediate danger you do not need to talk to the mother first, as it may just make her up sticks and go. Then there will be no immediate way of tracking what happens to this child.

I thought that as cms we were allowed to refuse to let a parent take their child when they come to collect if we feel the child is in danger and then contact ss. May be wrong though!

Original poster

dmo · 27/02/2007 12:58

phoned the NSPCC this morning b4 i phoned ss and they said to phone the ss

so at the moment but its a good idea to phone police today so that they can prepare for friday- good thinking

OP posts:

frankieb · 27/02/2007 13:30

Hi
I agree with Quietmouse, if you feel a child is in danger then there is no need to discuss with parents first, my Child Protection policy clearly states this too.
This is appalling. You can see how all these cases go unoticed for so long can't you beacuse SS can't be bothered or have lack of resources or whatever.
I really feel for you DMO.
I would urge you to back to SS again and speak to someone else.
Take care
Frankie

princesscc · 27/02/2007 13:52

sorry if I missed it in someone elses post, but have you called your early years team at the council or your OFSTED advisor? I am soooo shocked that, as CMs we are told that if anything is really wrong we should contact the duty social worker and they will deal with it blah blah blah and you are getting no support at all! No wonder things like this go un-noticed! Poor him and poor you to have to deal with this.

LRWG · 27/02/2007 15:15

I can't believe the lack of support you are getting! Document everything, take people's names when you speak to them etc. If anything does happen (heaven forbid) to this poor little one then the correct people should be held accountable. Keep us up to date on this and take care.

pinkandsparkly · 27/02/2007 19:20

This tread is the most shocking I have ever read on mn. Social services are always in the news defending their actions when there's been a cock up, promising that 'lessons will be learned' etc... It all appears to bollocks in this case though.

Thank god YOU care about this child's welfare dmo but you must feel incredibly frustrated at the lack of concern shown by the very people who are supposed to be protecting vulnerable children.

I really really hope for the child's sake that this is all just a big misunderstanding but if it isn't then the time to act is NOW

Original poster

dmo · 27/02/2007 20:31

phoned Ofsted and reported the insident to them (didnt give details) explained i had concerns and phoned ss and told them what they had told me etc etc
Ofsted just logged my call
also phoned police again (they couldnt give details to me if they had visited) but told me to phone back when i suspected he was left again

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