Maternity nurses: standard practice

[Rockandahardplace123]

We're due to have our second child later this year and I have spoken to a lovely maternity nurse who helped us a little bit when DD was born. She's great and I trust her and she's nice company around the house, which are obviously really important. I'd really like to use her if possible.

My only slight reservation is that she doesn't do anything with older children. She's said that if toddler DD needs, for example, a sandwich or a drink while I am stuck on the sofa breastfeeding, then she's happy to sort that out, but she wouldn't usually read stories/play with older children while I'm feeding. Could I check whether this would be the case with all maternity nurses, or whether there are some who are happy to entertain older children for a bit if you are feeding? DH is quite keen to find someone who would be able to take both children occasionally if we really needed a break but I don't know whether there are going to be any maternity nurses who will do that? Thanks in advance!

TBH she sounds a bit useless as entertaining my eldest was the biggest 'need' we had for number 2 child. Postnatal doula might be worth a try or just a different maternity nurse.

Sounds like a job description for a nanny, not a maternity nurse. I think she is reasonable and you just need something different.

Maybe you will get better responses from
Maternity nurses. But as far as I am aware they are there for the baby only. You may look at doula who do an all around job or getting in a nanny for your older child and your be able to leave the baby on occasions with them.

Mn generally only deal with babies and not any siblings

They are there for baby and if you are bf /spending time with baby they will go and sort out some duties such as babies washing - bottles cleaning and sterilising is using - or even have their break

You may find a mn who is happy to have your eldest but it is rare as maybe they have been burnt before by offering to help and then taken advantage of

I have been contacted about position and rem one lady wanted me to look after /get her 6w twins in a routine but also if eldest who think was almost 2 woke up to settle her. Seemed she woke up most days at 5am

I said no.

Thanks everyone - that's really useful.

Maybe try calling some of the people that run courses? A lot of people doing maternity nurse courses don't have enough new born experience for agencies to want them on their books, maybe they have someone that would quite like the newborn experience and happy to help out with older child to get it?

I think finding someone to take toddler for a play in other room while feeding, preparing lunch or even taking them out while you and baby are sleeping is really what you need. As above has said a MN is generally babies only so I would look at other options.

Think a nanny would be a better choice. They could help with the eldest, or look after baby so you get time with the eldest, or take both sometimes so you can rest.

I'm a MN although haven't returned to work since having mh daughter a year ago.

When I've worked with siblings I'm happy to read the books, make lunch IF the mum is feeding baby. But I do say that I'm not in charge and as such I won't discipline or take sole charge of both babies. This is self preservation as in my early years as a MN I was very quick to say yes to whatever client wanted eg school runs, cooking full meals for family and it really made things difficult. Once I get to know the family I work for then I will baby sit in the evening for both siblings, even will get up with older sibling in morning so parents can get a lie in. But working 24/6 is tiring enough just with a baby and supporting the parents let alone duties with a older sibling.

I do always include the older sibling in care of baby eg helping get nappies.

Also bare in mind that if someone is entertaining toddler at all times when you're with baby when there is no extra person the toddler will find it hard. I often find toddler wants the mum anyway so work out ways to include toddler eg do books beside sofa, make sure snack is ready so mum doesn't have to search for it while feeding. Just things to make the rhythm of the day run smoothly with two little ones.