Childminder giving up: how to I break it to the kids?

[MarvinKMooney]

I'm probably overthinking this, but I could do with someone else's view.

Our lovely childminder is giving up and going back to the industry she worked in previously. She's been offered a great opportunity, and it makes perfect sense to make the change.

Before telling me her news, she scouted around her childminding network and has found me a new childminder just round the corner from me. That's so kind of her.

Unfortunately, my DCs (pre school and infant school age) only have three weeks left with her before she starts her new job. She has offered to work with the new childminder to ease the transition and to handover. All good.

But ... I know kids are resilient, but how do I break it to the kids? They have been going to her for over two years now and are very happy there. Like I say, I'm probably overthinking this, but I just want to make the change as smooth as possible.

Any thoughts? Thanks!

It sounds as if your existing cm is making the process as smooth as it can be for your children. Presumably the children know the new cm? And they are working together to make the next couple of months as easy as they can be.

Be honest with your children, cm is going to have a different job, she will miss you very much but you are going to go to new cm. she has a (insert fun thing/pet/new playmate) and we know you will have lots of fun at new cms house. Keep it positive.
Do you know the new cm? Been for a visit? Or are you going by the old cms recommendation only?

Thanks for your reply, maryann. No, I don't know the new CM. We spoke yesterday, just after my current CM told me her news and recommended her. She seems really nice - very friendly on the phone.

I'm going to meet her on Sunday (without the kids) to talk through the possibilities. If it all seems good - and I really hope it does - I'll take the kids to meet her after school next week, and we'll take it from there.

You can tell this is on my mind - posting this at 3am in the morning!

I know it's not ideal but they are at the age where change of teachers and settings etc is quite common so they might be able to understand in those terms. "You remember when you started preschool/ school/ Mrs Brown's class and it was a bit different at first but then you found x y or z and it was really fun". If the new cm is one of her friends then they might already know her from toddler groups.

Yes I could pitch it like that, should, that's quite topical for us!

God, I hope this works out: I don't have a plan B at the moment! We have just a tiny handful of CMs in our neighbourhood and this is the only one with a vacancy. The only nursery between home and work is also full on two out of the three days I need

Argh

I am sure they will be fine, your current cm sounds lovely and that she will be doing everything possible to make the move easier for them.

I had many sleepless nights when I moved ds to a new nursery at 3, but he was completely unfazed by it. Then 6 months later his keyworker that he adored left, I was gutted, he didn't seem to even notice .

I had similar levels of stress when my lovely cm stopped minding, I didn't even have anyone else to go to so it was all up in the air but the kids were fine, they just accepted it and have had several changes of childcare since and just got on with it. My older ones were school age so they were easy to deal with, I just explained and they got on with it. I was more concerned about the toddler but on settling in days he just trotted in after his siblings and was fine. The cm turned out to be shit but that's another story and I'm sure it won't happen to you given that your current cm has recommended her. I think it is a great idea for them to work together a bit over the next few weeks to ease the change so the kids can get to know the new cm.

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone. Well I went to meet her today and she is very nice. The setting itself is fantastic - really impressive. So I think we're on - very relieved! The kids have just got to meet her and we'll take it from there.

I told the kids today too. My eldest was most upset, and was worried about school pick up: how would he recognise her?? Bless him.

There will be plenty of opportunities for him to meet her before the proper start, so it will all be ok.

Phew. A stressful couple of days. Am going to miss our current childminder enormously but onwards and upwards

Not quite the same thing but we had a nanny for 4 yrs who had to leave as she needed medical treatment and recuperation and chose to return home. She was the only childcarer my children had ever had and was v attached to my oldest. They settled very quickly with her replacement but the youngest was far more resilient there as my oldest had started school and spent less time with her presumably.

Our nanny has returned to the UK but has gone into full time education and my kids love to see her occasionally. The oldest one in particular is still v attached and we try to make an effort to ensure that they see each other. She loves that she "is at school too" and that her decision to leave was not personal? If she'd left to look after other children I think it would have been trickier.