Advice needed on how much and what childcare we'll need!

[Londoncouple]

We are being moved by work to a new part of the UK for a 6-month stint. Fortunately we have had grandparents on tap for childcare until now and need help figuring out what kind of childcare we need and how much!

We have two girls (4 and 2) and will also have a newborn (breastfeeding). The 4-yr old will be in school and the 2-yr old will probably be in nursery for 3-5 mornings a week. Hubbie should be able to do the nursery/school drop in the morning but might not be home until the middle/end of bath-time.

I'm thinking I'll need someone coming round Monday to Friday for late morning/lunchtime to 6 ish? Does that sound reasonable and would this be a babysitter, mothers help, nanny etc?? I would not want them to be alone with the kids or dropping them off etc, mostly an extra pair of hands to play with the older kid(s) and perhaps some help with preparing meals if at all possible.

Thanks!

Why would you not want to be alone with them?

Will you be working at home?

I have three with the same age gap and have done this with no help. It is fine and you may want to see how you get on.

The bit I found hardest was getting everyone out of the house to school on time. My Dh left very early every morning so I had no help there. If your middle child is in mornings at nursery you are going to find that your day is a bit of a school / nursery run. I put my middle child in nursery for one morning and one full day and that gave me time to have some one on one with my eldest after school (well the baby came too obviously!).

There is no need to be competitive about parenting though and if you can afford it go for it. The op is going to be in a new city without access to the family help she is used to or a friends network presumably.

The hardest part of the day for me undoubtedly is bed and bath time. And keeping the house clean.

I also feel constantly guilty that I don't spend enough one on one time
With each of them.

I think a mothers help coming in a few afternoons a week to help pile through the laundry and do some crafty things with the elder ones would have been a godsend. It's also a bit of company. I don't think the op is saying she wants a nanny so she can go get her nails done, (which would be fine too btw!) just a bit of assistance with the drudge that looking after 3 of 4 and under can be. I wish I could have afforded a bit of paid for help so I could have concentrated on the fun stuff instead of constantly saying "just minute I just need to do this" . It would not have made me less of a mother.

Hope this helps.

Appreciate the detailed and constructive reply x

Au pair if you have a spare room and can deal with someone living in, mother's help if not.

A nanny won't give you household assistance and would be rather surprised that you didn't want her to do school runs etc to take the pressure off you feeding a newborn.

You don't sag what your budget is - that may be a factor.

OP, this will be me next week and I am terrified! I have a 4 year old at nursery each morning. The two year old and newborn will be at home with me. Was going to try it on my own but am beginning to think that is madness. My husband leaves before the school run and not home until well past the kids' bedtime. My health visitor this week suggested help would be essential.

I'm thinking of getting a mother's help person three afternoons a week, say from 2pm to 7.30pm.

Anyway, just wanted to wish you luck and thanks for starting the thread. Will be reading the replies with interest!

I would not want them to be alone with the kids
mostly an extra pair of hands to play with the older kid(s)

That describes a Mothers Help in my view. Someone to help you around the home, with domestic chores and entertaining the children.

Would someone want the job for 6 months? Maybe, as long as you are honest about it being for a short period and using a fixed term contract it should be fine.

I would suggest using a payroll company to sort out the taxation side of things, unless you know a lot about that. Agree a Gross salary.

Would suit someone local, so look into how you could advertise in the area prior to moving.