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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

CM Club: Fed up with Early Drop Off - Advice Please

40 replies

looneytune · 12/07/2006 08:03

I feel extremely petty here but I can't help how I feel.

Mindee A has been with me just over a year. Mum changed jobs last month and new hours were arranged. She was hoping to stick with same hours but add extra day to make full time but this didn't work so after a couple of weeks, we agreed on new hours and signed an amendment to contract. The new arrangement was for drop off at 7.45am. Several times, A has been dropped off at 7.35am which I know is only 10 mins early but I've been caught out a couple of times (on the loo etc). The problem is that if dad is dropping off then they may not arrived til 8.15am so if I need the loo (sorry TMI) just before 7.45am, I go. Anyway, this is becoming more of a daily thing now (the early drop off) and a few times (incl. today) they've asked me to give breakfast.

I don't have a problem with providing this as I don't charge anyway but we all sit down to have breakfast at 7.30am so I've already sorted it out and am spooning food into babies mouth at that time. I therefore have to wait until we've finished and then I get her breakfast but then sometimes we end up running a bit late (as I'm sorting a few of them out at once and we're supposed to leave around 8.15am).

I don't mind them coming 10 mins earlier and not paying, I just want to know! What annoys me the most is when it's on a Monday or Friday as I don't already have a mindee here at that time. I had to answer the door with a mouth full of toothpaste once because they arrived at 7.35am and I wasn't ready. I would have been ready to start at 7.45am and surely it's up to me if I leave getting ready til last minute as long as I'm ready in time?!

What are your thoughts on this. Am I being totally and utterly petty or can you understand why it annoys me?

Any advice on how to nip it in the bud?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ssd · 12/07/2006 08:13

sorry no tips other than to say to the parents that you won't be ready before 7.45, simple as that. yes it would annoy me too! Also say if mindee will come later than 7.45 then they must let you know. they probably don't have a clue of your early morning routine and don't realise the trouble they're causing. I would have thought a quiet word would sort it out.

gooseegg · 12/07/2006 09:44

Don't answer the door until 7.45 and say 'Sorry, I was drying my car, I couldn't hear you, I always have SO much to fit in before you arive at 7.45'
Could you say that you are happy to give the baby breakfast but that they will have to wait until you get back from school to have it?

Booh · 12/07/2006 10:09

I don't answer the door either - as I have a manic rush getting everyone in my own family ready in the morning!

Mum in question now waits in the car until her 'time' - it may sound petty, but I have so little time, those extra 10 mins are vital!

ayla99 · 12/07/2006 10:22

I had an 8 0 clock start, she kept arriving at 7:45. I did mind her having an extra 15 mins unpaid for - thats an 1hr 1/4 a week. I didn't say anything the first time, thought she'd misread the clock or something. But when it got regular i felt she was taking advantage.

I made her wait on the doorstep and took my time over answering the door. After opening door i'd look at watch and make a comment about not being ready/didn't expect you just yet etc. On the attendance form I wrote in the actual arrival times and when she came to sign it at the end of the week I pointed out how much extra time she'd had. I said I wasn't going to charge her this week but did she want to do a new contract for an earlier time?

She didn't & arrived at 8 after that.

gooseegg · 12/07/2006 10:33

car means hair btw . Where did that one come from.

Original poster

looneytune · 12/07/2006 11:02

Thanks for all your replies, I'm so pleased no-one thinks I'm being petty!

ssd - I will have a little word but I think she's going to think I'm being petty. We've always got on so well but I could see her reaction to the extra fee (45 mins per day = £60 a month) which made me feel bad and I can see her thinking 'oh, she's working with baby anyway so what's 10 mins!'

Gooseegg - the baby arrives at 6.45am, it's the 3 year old mindee that's the problem and I take her to school with my ds. As for drying the car, that's so funny as I didn't actually notice anything wrong til you pointed out! I couldn't say that anyway as she knows I'm already working with baby but I could do that on the other 2 days - I'll just make her wait (I'd feel really odd but got to do something).

Booh - that's what annoys me, those 10 mins make all the difference to me yet someone who isn't in the chaos may see that as no time at all! This mum just doesn't understand what it's like to get all the kids ready each morning!

ayla99 - what I meant is the money doesn't bother me as much as the inconvience of not knowing she's going to be early. Problem is that because they pay from 7.45 but sometimes dad drops off half hour later, they probably think I'm lucky I get paid for that time not being used. The way I see it is I'm available to work from then as that's what they wanted!

OP posts:

HappyMumof2 · 12/07/2006 11:11

Message withdrawn

HappyMumof2 · 12/07/2006 11:12

Message withdrawn

RTKangaMummy · 12/07/2006 11:13

I deffo would not answer the door

The granny of mindee would arrrive earlier and earlier each day

And so we would not be ready for her to arrive

So she learnt her lesson and stayed in the car

After all if you were a receptionist at doctors they don't answer the phone 15 mins early do they?

If you worked in an office you wouldn't start work 15 mins early would you??

So why should we be expected to?????

HappyMumof2 · 12/07/2006 11:16

Message withdrawn

ssd · 12/07/2006 12:09

looneytune you are definately not being petty!

but don't listen to me, I have a parent who ALWAYS pays me late in dribs and drabs! and have I "had a word" NO!!!!!!

WE NEED TO TOUGHEN UP!

LoveMyGirls · 12/07/2006 12:15

you should of said oh sorry im going out dd has a doctors appt at 615 so i need you to be on time, if you cant then you will have to arrange for someone else to pick up. not that u should have to make excuses but it amy be the kick up the backside they need.

kittycats · 12/07/2006 12:42

I agree with lovemygirls, i was always making excuses and telling parents fibs just so the parents would collect their child on time. (sometimes they were still late!)
Had a parent who came 1hr early,she new i was already looking after some others so didnt think it would matter.
The parents would often moan to me about working late and not getting any notice or not getting paid extra and being paid late but didnt seem to think it mattered to me if they did same to me.

dmo · 12/07/2006 13:51

good idea ayla99 i always write in what time child arrives but parents dont read it they just sign will point it out maybe!
i find it so hard to get out of bed in the mornings first child arrives at 7.15 and i only manage to get up at 7.05 but he to has been coming early bout 7.07 and i'm jumping about the bedroom trying to put my knickers on etc and the doorbells going! so cant really open door so they have to wait

claddersfamily · 12/07/2006 13:57

dmo, thats exactly like me i am terrible in the mornings and am trying to wash my hair when doorbell goes because they are 10 mins early!! I only ever get them dropped off early in the mornings and never at lunchtimes when it wouldnt really matter! I try to ignore the doorbell but this morning was rung 3 times in 2 minutes and woke my sleeping dd and dh! I think that i will point out the time too or one day answer in my bra and knickers and see what happens then!!

HappyMumof2 · 12/07/2006 13:59

Message withdrawn

ThePrisoner · 13/07/2006 00:25

I don't have a problem with parents arriving early - but only if I know about it!!

I used to get washed and dressed first, then come down and sort out the house (need to vacuum each morning as I have hairy cats that moult mountains overnight). If the first-parents-of-the-day arrived early, I was still (relatively!!) presentable, and they wouldn't notice the vacuum cleaner in the middle of the hall.

So ... now I come down and blitz the downstairs, then shoot upstairs to get myself sorted out. If parents arrive too soon, leaning out of my bedroom window with a towel wrapped around me makes it a little more obvious that they're too early - it tends to make them look at their watch, and then realise that they are 15 minutes early.

I can't do "assertive" and just tell parents outright!

Twiglett · 13/07/2006 08:02

you need to tell them exactly what you wrote in your first post

sit them down and tell them

they don't know its inconvenient .. how can they .. you haven't told them

they'd probably be suitably mortified that they were inconveniencing you .. they just think it makes no difference

it does .. so TELL THEM

Twiglett · 13/07/2006 08:04

"I don't have a huge problem with you dropping xxx over early some days but I really need to know as we have a family routine and I can't really give her the right attention if I don't know she'll be there" "Would you mind terribly phoning if you happen to be running early" "I'm sorry to have to mention it, its just getting increasingly difficult to manage with an unpredictable start-time" "I'm happy to amend the contract again to a different start time if you'd prefer"

shut up sit back and let them sort out their problem

Original poster

looneytune · 13/07/2006 08:26

Thanks so much, will try that. Funny thing is they arrived at 8.15 today . I have tried hinting so will try what you have written - perfect that is

I think the mum noticed I wasn't happy yesterday because although I was my usual friendly self, I did answer the door with bottle in one hand, baby's breakfast in the other and made a comment about 'A' having to wait til I'd finished before I could give her breakfast due to our routine. I did look a bit flustered too.

Anyway, must get ready for school run now!

Thanks again

OP posts:

dmo · 13/07/2006 09:17

its funny went to a concert last night it was fab anyway! i did'nt drink so was ok that way but did have a late night and as i said b4 find it hard to get out of bed in mornings, so this morning got out of bed late (7.10am) first mindee today should have been 7.30am but as soon as my feet touched the floor the doorbell rang went downstairs in dressing gown and mindee was there, made comments of early hour etc mum didnt seem to hear started to tell me how shes been up since 5 with child.
what do i do?

Original poster

looneytune · 13/07/2006 09:21

Don't know what to suggest but just wanted to say it annoys me too when they say been up since whatever time like that makes it ok to arrive early.

Glad you had a good night

OP posts:

NannyL · 13/07/2006 09:25

dmo.... im not a child minder but a nanny...

maybe if it happens again you could leave them to wait 5 minutes.... then come downstairs and say sorry you were in the shower...

then they could wait 7 mins / 10 mins etc...

they may soon get the hint that theres no point arriving arly cause you wont be ready anyway!

ssd · 13/07/2006 09:32

take the batteries out of the doorbell!

then answer at the correct time , if they say "I've been waiting" say "oh I didn't expect you till (blank)".

wait for their answer, say you aren't ready before (blank), sorry!!!!!

EvesMama · 13/07/2006 09:43

NannyL is right, i similar to how we teach children by gradually leaving it longer till they get a reaction when they do something you dont approve of.
thats easiest way of doing it..or even issue a memo type thing to all parents(even if you just give her one and leave rest for other parents to see) stating drop off pick up times and ask 'them all' to please keep to these times as you do not start work until them

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